my PHOTO blog!?

UH HUH! go! put it under Favourites, scribble the URL in your diary. heck! MEMORISE THE URL. whatever, go! but pleeeease don't go, just because i told you to. i mean, i'm not the boss of you. i'm just saying, if you want to, you can drop by. because..yea. you know... yeaaa..

:) i'll still be posting photos here though. mostly people photos. like outings with friends, families that sort of shit. the photo blog is more..... less words la:D in fact, zero words. so. just photos. random photos. every. day. without. fucking. fail. yea. or actually, just anywhen, really...............

anywhen. ha ha.

you know i love to share my photos :D

and my stories too, of course. this blog is SEXY and still very ALIVE, though 'unplugged'(you guys never drop messages).

thank you for your attention. please come again! :) ..i mean it.
Someone special blogged @ 7:56 PM l

we were learning about the internal anatomy of the heart. dr.yong posed a question: "if you cut open a heart, what do you find?" and i turned to zaffy and said, "

YOU :)

zaffy just made me feel so fucking good about myself :) excuse the swear word; i'm vulgar when i'm excited. yea. i felt so fucking ..significant... when she said in a conversation that what i had said to her before, she will remember for the rest of her life.

at first i was like, "what??? shit what did i say!???? :O!!!"

"sometimes being friends with someone is good enough, if not better, even if you can't be with them forever. you said that right? they had been once a part of your life, and be thankful that at least thaaat happened. right? we love them, but we don't necessarily have to be involved with them right?"

and she was looking at me with those big earnest eyes and i wanted to go, fuck you :):):) she remembered. and i felt wow.. being appreciated and knowing that i have made a difference in how she looks at things now, i mean wow. that's big, isn't it??? i had nooo idea that what i had said to her before, she took them seriously :) i mean, like SERIOUSLY. she said she 'will remember it for the rest of her life'. how fucking BIG is that la oi.

i am the sort of person that can influence any situation. i should be president. heh no la.

TRUST ME to pick an elective that's so LEAST FAVOURITE. HAHA!? remember a couple of entries back...a week ago or something... i said i picked English For Academic Purposes as my elective, yes???? today was first lesson.

there were 4 of us outside the room...... then this lecturer walked out and looked at us expectantly. "for the english elective yea?" we nodded. "you're claire right?" she said to this chinese girl and she was like, "how do you know!!!!!?" she guessed our names all right... except she pronounced mine as LEEla instead.

"because there's only seven of you under this elective altogether."

seriously?? SERIOUSLY!? out of 200-over students?? just SEVEN? it's not even a 2-digit. i wanted to chuckle. it's sad when people would rather pick science/arts/psychology/computeering over ENGLISH :O!!! heh nah just joking. i gots to remind myself, not everyone shares the almost-cultic love for language like i do. HAHAHA.

just seven of us. how FECKING SAD?

yea, sad, that i kept nodding off during the 90-minutes lecture from Anne Tay. heeeee. but overrall, it was awright........... i mean, it's english. so. unfortunately we didn't have like fun activities like writing a 100o-word essay about yourself(HA-HA-HA-HA! who in the world would find something like THAT fun??)

but we do have a 1000-word essay for our term paper on a topic which is as dry and sore like how darell's butt would be after repetitive kickings from hannan. ..!??? oh well. it's still writing:D

the cool thing is, the next time we'll be seeing Anne Tay would be in 5 weeks time????? YEA. so that means YESSA i have mondays FREEEE.

what does this teach you? EMBRACE ENGLISH. ..okay totally no logic. well. who says it has to make sense? :D
Someone special blogged @ 7:22 PM l

i love trees :D i was in the car and was staring out and hey, i love trees. i think they are very magnificient.... excuse for my lack of adjectives. how *do* you describe trees anyway? heh. i see tree, i think grand. and green, definitely. yea i love trees. and it's like its own unique work of art, how a tree is never alike. kindar like us. abstract, only it makes sense really. the only one that ain't making sense is me?

HAHAHA I LOVE TREES.

"hello giler," cousin dayana called me. :)

i wore HEELS. (different topic already. keep up with me!) yea? i wore heels. because i was sick and tired of people mistaking me for being the SECOND sister, just because lina is taller and bigger than me. so i said: HECK. i'm wearing HEELS. HA! i guess i was desperate. hahaha!!!! first 5 steps i took, i knew it was a mistake. but you see, pride right? my pride is big. it blocked the pain. haha! didn't know it was temporary til it was too late?

i remembered that first house we went that friday? yea? it was a maisonette. uh, 4 storeys i think? 2, really. because it's a maisonette. yea. so. no use for lifts. looking at my face, momster was like, "hah. the price you have to pay for vanity."

people laughed at me. but i laughed at them for getting the wrong idea. it was a sad laugh actually!!! haha! discrimination is a sign a affection in our family, i strongly want to believe. eh at least i was taller than lina xD

i avoid eating rendang at people's places. it's hard, because i love rendang to the core. but its annoying when you eat them and it gets stuck in between your teeth? yea? been there, haven't you, you rendang-lovers you!!!

life is full of sacrifices. i don't want to talk about those big big serious major schmajor depressing ones. let's talk about those minis. and i kindar already have? okay fine, make it amusing silly minis.

now it's your turn. no, don't have to tell me. just think about it :)

it was supposed to be H&L's 2nd B&J's rendezvous this morning!!!! HAHA. hehehehhe. H&L's B&J's. we are so cool!!! anyways. yea. this morning! tis monning ar. and planned to surprise nurool at her doorstep with B&J's ice cream!!! seriously!!! ITS HER 17th BIRTHDAY! but, yea. i had to raya and he has open house. anyway, the both of us overslept so. yea. we're still cool though!!

oh it's monday tomorrow. elective :O i can survive la. i know i can. if i can handle 2 hours of bioscience/clinical/any sort of lectures, i can do 3 hours of english. english, okay? but i just don't like the feeling of not knowing what's going to be in store for me. yea, i don't like surprises.

but if it's the meyaa sort of surprise, then it's different la:D fancy popping up with a birthday cake for a friend :):):) and coming up with such a cooool gift.

i hope to post photos up soon. you know i love sharing my photos :D
Someone special blogged @ 7:01 PM l

it'd be cool if we could be in many different places at the same time. okay maybe not that many. just 3? too many would be scary, if you happen to bump into ..you. and then that would create unnecessary confusion :)

friday 27 october 2006 rocks, cans? (nurool would say, "can!") e-tutorials rock too! because of this self-directed-online-studying, 2 supposedly-afternoon tutorials were cancelled. hence 0622 was officially dismissed at ELEVEN in the MORNING, after a 2-hour lecture at 9.

there were 3 events happening later: (not in any order of importance)

1. jalan raya with the girls
2. jalan raya with my fam!?
3. nurool's surprise :)

picked 2, for obvious reasons. because that was planned long ago, only it slipped my mind. damn.. i wished i hadn't gone :( eh wrong: wished i had gone for all 3. somehow.

could only visit kama's house in the late morning :D me in my casual wear, while the rest looking pretty pink and green&heels(for eera). anyways. so then while the rest headed for aisyah's after that, i went off to meet momster at her workplace.

it was such coincidence that the 3 of us were late today:D zaf, kama and i. i texted zaf first(it was 0845-ish):

"i'm going to be late!"
"i'm going to be late too! better tell kamaria."

so i told kama:

"i'm going to be late!"
"i'm going to be late too!"

so i went back to zaf:

"we ALL are going to be late!"

and the reason i was late was because i missed the bus..which was because i was texting that message...... as in i was already at the bus stop, but was too busy with my phone that i didn't realised the bus passed until it was too late.

of course i swore out loud. then there was jia jia who only just got there. she was like, "aiya. missed the bus...." then i was like, ".......me too." ......haha! i suck. hated my phone at that time. DAMN YOU PHONE.

aaanyways :) the next few paragraphs i'm going to plunge into ain't going to make much sense because..i'm plunging into them and they're not suppose to make sense as they are pretty random and abrupt, but not so random, really.

i just want to clear something.

is it really hard to believe that i'm doing nursing? that i'm going to be a nurse in a couple of years time(insyaallah)??? do i look like a fecking nurse? does mr. george bush look like president material????

sick! kanna bullied by relatives plus own family flesh and blood like there's no tomorrow!!!! i hate them!!(no i don't)

"i can't believe lela's doing nursing?" a cousin said. not really TO me. more like, to another cousin. and i was there. and i was like, ..im sorry??? are you bitching about me??? thats not very raya-y, is it???

i guess everyone sees me as a complete sloth. period. i am not a fecking sloth, thanksamill. no, i am not. my mother says i am, and she may even give you a couple of examples, but what does she know?

we tend to be influenced by how other people define us. and then we adjust our behaviours accordingly. it's fecking true. not only because that's what ive learnt in sociology, but also its something i came to notice. i realised thats whats been happening.

i'm not lazy. because if i am, i wouldn't love nursing. and i do. love nursing. if i were lazy, i'd fail my postings in my first hour there. but did i? i fecking didn't, did i? in fact, i was good. i was composed in my delivery of care. composed is not lazy, is it? i'm sure my very senior clinical instructor would know the fecking difference.

i'm not lazy, just because i don't help in the kitchen(i DO help in the kitchen. but my aunt assumed i don't because she doesnt know anything). i'm not lazy, just because...i'm not lazy just because.. feck, im not lazy!!!

the next asshole to call me a lazy, well, f*ck you :)

and i'm going to be a nurse(insyaallah, i cannot stress this enough), so well, live with it.
Someone special blogged @ 2:12 AM l

At this time in your life you feel like 'giving up'. For every time you have tried to build up your hopes and dreams something has come along to burst the balloon. You may feel that, at this particular moment in your life, there seems to be no chance of fulfilling these dreams but you are so wrong. You are the sort of person that can influence any situation, that is - If you don't give up. So consciously make the effort... You have that inherent power to succeed.

At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world.

Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgement and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.

You are not an argumentative sort of person and 'rather than fight - you'd switch' (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself - as sometimes you may try to do - you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you 'feel' and 'hurt' a lot.

It would seem that an existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory and you feel that there is little that you can do about it without 'some help from your friends', but you have no desire to show the world how vulnerable you really are and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this particular relationship as a depressing tie and although you would like to be independent and unhampered, you don't want to run the risk of losing anything. All this leads you to react 'touchily' and with impatience, while the urge to 'get away from it all' results in considerable restlessness and stress. Your ability to concentrate may suffer.

You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in 'dreaming' but it is you - and only you - that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality.

my complete personal life. the sad side of my personal life, to be fair. so is it this accurate?? that's for me to know and for you to find out. or not..

give it a try? click this!
Someone special blogged @ 4:16 PM l

track 12 on P!nk's I'm Not Dead suits the occasion: you don't have to like me anymore/i got money now/i don't care what you say about me anymore/i got money now. ..i feel like i'm inviting people to come rob me XD!! but it's true. i've $x and i didn't even leave the house yesterday. envy me. ..from far, can?

the song's really about this girl who wanted to be well-liked by everyone but it didn't work. people misunderstood her and stuff and she got sick of it. now that she's all rich and famous she didn't care. like 'in your face, muthaf*ckers! don't need you! i got money!' it's a great song la, because there's a message hidden, an advice. a caution, more like. that money don't buy you happiness. we all know that already though, right? :)

anyways :) 24 october, significant date to me. and no it's not because it was raya. but that ungodly hour of 1am, let's just say something beautiful happened. cehh.... :D i'm sorry you're all curious now, but yea...

things don't always stay the same after an argument or misunderstanding or even if nothing actually happened and that, is usually the case: you both become distant for no obvious reasons. things don't always return to normal after that, do they? it's hard, even after you guys talk it through. because familiarity breeds contempt, yes? it's true. it happens. speaking from experience, i am, unfotunately.

but me and you, is different. because this 'distance' only got us closer :) hah! it's so amazing. cheers to great friendship :):)

before you go, 'me and you' and 'is' don't go together and it's basic english, let me explain: there's a me, because there's a YOU. and me and you together is one. and one is singular, hence IS. awwww.....

where do i come with all these crap? blame it on LOVE.

because of that, suddenly raya was extra fun. don't know why. the change of attitude. no, not a change. i've always loved raya. more like, a boost of attitude. yea. normally it was: hoh yea raya, bring on the love! now it's like: *jovially, please* YAYY RAYA! BRING THE F*CK ONN.

okay quickly now: in the morning, went to Ahmad Ibrahim Mosque for prayers and the place was packed like f*ck(i am vulgar when i am excited).

nothing new, actually. only that this year, the ladies had to pray literally outside the mosque compound and previously it was literally a forest(Ahmad Ibrahim is a kampong mosque right? not like those fancy fancy ones at Masjid Sultan, no.) but trees were all cleared up to make way for a new condo that's coming up soon. so. yea. but yea, were praying under the morning sun. and there were ants of all sizes everywhere. but it was awright. praying with nature. what an experience.

i fell asleep in the afternoon. again, nothing new. it's like a personal tradition of mine? to fall asleep? and missed a couple of visitors. but it's awright :) because i always miss the same people. and they are used to it. they remember me as sleeping beauty. the word beauty to describe my nap...... not me...... HAHA!

i'm glad i didn't miss my close cousins, though!!!

i love cousin elly. she makes me feel like i'm super duper damn f*cking talented and special and YEA! she's a photo editor so she should know a thing or two about good photos. or maybe she's just saying all that because we're cousins. but anyhoos. was official photographer for the day :) but we used her camera, so i don't have the photos with me.

i leave the best for the last: you know how raya we gots to seek forgiveness from our elders and stuff? this year i didn't cry! because usually i cry the damn easiest. very emotional i am. but this year i didn't cry. not that i wasn't genuine when asking forgiveness. i am! i look at it this way: i have been a good girl/daughter/graddaughter so i didn't burst into tears with remorse because i hadn't done anything terribly horrible to make my elders want to murder me.

i did tear a bit, only because all of us we were all beautiful and dressed up, and for once we weren't at each other's throats and it was sweet :) i love raya. come to think of it, none of us cried except for my sister. good. because she's been BAD. HAHA!!! XD

enjoy the rest of the week :) i think i will.
Someone special blogged @ 1:46 PM l

ketupat, which i weaved myself, thanks!?





mac is the perfect model, i swear. he knows how to look to the camera when told :):)

prayers, mac??? heeee. what a DOLL.

all sugar and spice..

..NOT! but i like how i accidentally included Haizad(cutie on tv)


i'm not fierce. i just had something wedged up my ass.

mackie's super duper amazing pink tongue

my handsome gdad:)

cousin Elly shot this.. i love this piece. my favourite. how the focus is not on my Aunt Imah, but my sister who's at the background. and i could sort of sense a strong emotion from her. i think it's the wanting to fit in........... ..among middle aged aunties!?? oh you know what i mean.. :)

i believe a good photo is one which evokes feelings and tells stories. amazing, elle :) speaking of stories, i'll share you my raya story 2006(ceh ceh) in the next entry la yer? you'd want to watch out for this space. SEES YA.
Someone special blogged @ 11:17 PM l

HELLO!!! in a midst of preparing for RAYA, ku sempat blog. what have i done since i got home from campus....

momster was fed up because instead of helping out, i was going round with my camera busy capturing the PRE-RAYA moments. she told me to help out. so i tried to help around but felt like i was in a way. almost dropped the crystal :( that pissed gmum off. so i made myself useful and locked myself up in the room, listening to Pink, which i just bought :D

i know.

this month i've spent on 3 freaking cd albums :O!!! avril lavigne(for my sister), the veronicas and less than 2 weeks later(today), i bought Pink I'm Not Dead. heh i know. just last night i was like, "i am so getting Pink's album."(if you read last night's entry)

i got Pink's album!!! anyway i've always love her songs, her spunk, and her HAIR MY GODD. to have hair like her i'd give anything. ..actually no. i quite like my own hair. it defines me. messy schmessy, wild and crazy and tangled and unruly.

cd albums are the only material stuff i splurge on(keyword: I), other than cat food. ..and notebooks and pen inks. and rented books. but yea. cd albums. music is a big part of me. yea i buy music like other people buy tees. come to think of it, i don't care if i wear the same tees to school every week? last time i went shopping was waaay before the fasting month.

i realised something... i'm quite a something. if i want a particular thing(beraper banyak thiiing laaaa), i'll get it. some way or other. i will definitely get it. i had wanted to learn the goddamn guitar. persevered and hey, i can play a song or two. i wanted my own guitar, i saved my ass off for it. i got gary :) and recent example, that Canon Powershot S3 IS. see? i told you i'd get my hands on it. i got my hands on it. i HAVE my hands on it.

yea! what kind of person does that make me? desperate? come on, i'm sure there's a kinder word. determined? morbid determination, kindar?? yea???

i'm not spoilt rotten in a way that i'm given whatever i want, even though that's how it has been when my dad was still around. like all i did was stare at that Gameboy and he bought it for me. well, i was only 7 and i'm sure my dad wasnt an exception: all fathers would give their daughter anything. ..at least til they are 17:D gosh, teens want the weirdest thing these days.

back to current: im not a spoilt kid. i just know what i want. and momster doesn't give in to me all the time. i won't let her. i get my own stuff with my own money which i saved by starving myself. but being the fasting month, in a way, i'm not really reeeally spending.

i don't always get whatever i want..(i still yearn for an ebony-black acoustic guitar.....give me 3 months:D). i know we should always be thankful for what we already have. but i believe we CAN have whatever we want. because when there's a will, there's a bloody way. just don't involve your parents' money in the equation........ trust me, the feeling of achieving something with your own sweat, tears and blood is much much much satisfying. makes you feel like you can have anything and do everything and you bloody well can.

hence look at my collection of cds. ..and notebooks fill with scribbles and doodles and sketches, and a shelf of rented books passed their due dates. .....okay that is just me being lazy XD

you know what? if only i'm as this determined and enthusiastic when it comes to school work.. like, "presentation next week!! i am so getting it down now." heh. it's not that simple can? for one thing, presentations are usually a group thing and you know how i am in groups. i do love working with people, but i find i work better myself. i am a loner that way i guess. lone ranger me.

if only my LOVE/SOCIAL life works that way...: i want you, i'll get you. ceh.. but i'm not bold. come to think of it, my love/social life sucks. like the so-called current crush?? yea??? it's over before it began :(:( sucks so much. i don't like a guy so easily, but when i do, i tend to fall in a wee bit too deep. but eh, nothing i can't handle. just that it hurts supressing the feeling, you know? it's okay. like Pink sang: you'll always be mine at the back of my mind.

but i'm a-okay. tomorrow is RAYA :) it's a ticket to go crazy!!! count your blessings, spread the love, the food and share your collection money with me!!!

loveloves.
Someone special blogged @ 4:43 PM l

zaffy: "who's going to carry the tray of food?"
lela: (pushed tray towards zaffy and smiled sweetly)
zaffy: "hello? klutzie me? don't think so?" (pushed back tray to me)
lela: "hi!! i knocked a bin down remember?" (pushed tray a little too hard and it fell over the end of the counter)
zaffy: "look what you did."
lela: "hey, you're the klutz."

haha okay that didn't really happen:D

never order red roasted chicken rice at cavana, that's what i learnt. at first i had wanted sweet sour chicken rice. then zaffy pointed out a tasty-looking dish on the menu: "this looks nice! i think i'll have this." i looked at it and agreed: "oh gosh it looks good!!! i think i'll have it too!" and we both had red roasted chicken rice.

when the lady walked out of the little kitchen with two plates of not-as-tasty-looking-as-the-one-on-the-menu red roasted chicken with a little rice and a little gooey, sticky side dish in her hands, zaffy and i were like, "is that it?"

"these yours?" the lady looked at us. "red roasted chicken rice?" i was shaking my head, but zaffy was like, yea yea that would be ours.

at the table we were looking at the plate blankly. we were fooled!!! firstly, it didn't look as good. secondly, IT DIDN'T LOOK AS GOOD!! and what's that gooey stuff that comes with it? didn't see that in the menu?? it had onions and potatos(i think?) and a bit of mushrooms and peas and corns. i don't like any of it.

looked at aisyah's plate with envy. she had eggs, veggies, chicken-something. at least she knew what she was eating!!!!!!

we finished our food anyway, with the help from eera.

"should have feign innocence," i said. "no, we didn't order red roasted chicken rice."

"yea, sure. what about the receipt?"

i pretended to tear the receipt.

"did you look at the lady's face? she looks like she meant business. thought she might throw the plate at you when you shook your head. like who you're fooling?!!"

"if she really meant business, she should serve what is displayed on menu or her business would go down the drain. like where this leftover is going....." i stared at the peas and corns and onions soaking in the brown gooey gravy and shuddered.

"may i?" eera asked politely before helping herself with my gravy.

i shuddered more.

AND THEN THERE'S RAYA ON TUESDAY HAHAHAHHA.

i'm sad we don't have like a week holiday. but, heh. whatevv. i can't wait for raya. the food, the atmosphere, the people, THE LOVE ultimately. and it's aweshum that i live with my grandparents? so relatives flock to our place and relatives = duit rayaaaa lalalala. :) i'm getting Pink's latest album.

Who Knew is the best. i feel the heartbreakingness of the song every time i hear it. and i watched the video on youtube.com and this is weird but i feel sudden inspiration to write a story based on the video. will start writing asap :)
Someone special blogged @ 9:13 PM l

sorry for the tacky captions. we were listening to Avril Lavigne and so we figured since we were running dry on creative juices, why not use some lines of her songs!?? yea!?!

yea it was a bad idea. we know that now!!!

because syak refused to be in the frame, we made her RED so she stood out, even if her back was facing us.

but she joined in anyway. hence my annoyed face.........

Rosnah Ahmid look, your monstrous kids!!! bet she didn't see this(Us) coming.


i hate them. and i love them. like Pink sang, "i'm loving you and i'm hating it." can we be any more contradicting, seriously? anywaysm, dont you wish you have sisters!!! yea!? i swear we're not like this all the time. this is simply a result of boredom and ...we're still getting over the fact that Ela Bought a $800 Canon Camera!!!! but i'm sure the novelty will wear off sooner or later.

...my sisters are damn photogenic lor! everyone except ME is fecking photogenic!!!?

i feel exclusive.

i'm content but i'm depressed as well, you know what i'm saying?? i can't say what about and i apologize to noratiah because she has to bear with me and my moods. i'm not usually like this la cans? :D

okay no more faces photos. only yesterday zaffy complimented me for not being like most people who post up pictures of their faces like we care how they look like and what colour their hair is. and noooo i'm not against that, hence this pictoral evidence. is pictoral even a word? anyways.

it's saturday, you see. well. it's sunday now. but. yea. and he's still not here.

my heart broke yesterday. just a wee bit. i've had worst, so i recovered like 4 minutes later, only to feel million times worst because he wasn't there for me to vent my feelings on.

i hate to end my entry all dramatic, right? so on a lighter note: i made 20 ketupats in half an hour. ha ha!!! and i've completed James Patterson novel in 2 days. feels good, this feeling of accomplishment.

real photos up tomorrow :)
Someone special blogged @ 11:59 PM l

the girls(in some order you go figure): Kama, Aisya, Zaffy, Eera, Wany! and Lela(behind the lens, having the most fun, thank you!)! show me a more sweeter picture!!!(???)

candid 1. the story: they were trying to do Vogue. at least, Eera was. Aisya was watching intently... zaffy just wanted to look pretty.

candid 2. the story: aisyah tried to imitate eera and do a sexy pout. and failed. thats kama and wany laughing at her. you can't see me, but i was laughing my ass off as well. zaffy continued to look pretty.

candid 3. wany: "do it again, aisyah. make me laugh!!!"

finally!! wany looked tired after all the laughing XD

i realise zaffy and i were a wee bit too closed??? like what was that about!?!

like models walking down a runway :) EERA, CAMERA LOVES YOU! seriously, ive got so many beautiful shots of her.

my girls are so sporting :) like, tadaaah!!! if only this were taken in a studio? or at least a more appropriate background:D by the way, eera's a dancer. the others just know how to have funXD

that spells my name!!! no, seriously. thanks, guys!! heeee. maybe we should try Wany's name next............ haha get it!? (kama refused to be in the shot. don't know why! Hahahaha!! "cartoon ar korang!" )

my girls are sooo photogenic, my goshhh. i look so freaking proud. someone whack me with a chair. you see why i belong behind the lens?

best candid everrrrrr.
Someone special blogged @ 12:25 AM l

i feel conscious when people say they read my blog. i get nervous when they start quoting me, or worst.. questioning: "omg, did that really happen to you?" "how exactly did you knock a bin down again?"

i don't know exactly why the feeling. i just feel weird. but not the bad kind. i think it's the fact that i don't quite like being in the sort of limelight. i'd feel uneasy. i'd stay away from attention as much as i can. but that is not the same as low self esteem cans? heh. it's simply just how i am XD and i like how i am.

i don't get how some people like to publicise their blogs and encourage others to drop by and stuff. like i'd rather nobody knows about this space, if i had my way:D not implying anything here!! so i felt a wee bit conscious when zaffy told me she's been to my blog just now.

it's partly to do with the way she said it. a bit of smugness and defiance....because she seriously thought i was hiding my blog from her!!! i kept telling her over and over again, people just HAPPENED to land on my blog, and they linked me up and it picked up from there, yada yada.. but she didn't believe me!!!!!!!! which she shouldn't because it's not true but anyways

i held my breathe as i waited for her to continue.................... i always get like that. it's important to know how people feel! yet at the same times sometimes i'd rather not know. i'd prefer to be in my own little world where everything is perfect and nothing is wrong with my writing.

......"i laugh, man!!! haha!!! you're real good. AND you blog everyday which is damn good la."

i breathed and did a cartwheel(not really). the relief and the surge of delight mixed together was so overwhelming. i felt like a million bucks. zaffy could be lying for all we know, but i'm sure she wasn't la, but hey. i told you i'm easily pleased.

i know the amount of people who loyally drop by are only so little? but i'm content:D

like i'm content with taking numerous candid photos of you girls :D i find (morbid)delight by looking at you through the viewfinder, laughing at you beautiful, photogenic lame ass from behind the lens, before clicking the shutter and forever capturing the silly moments.

tomorrow :) tomorrow after i'm done with the photos, you'll see what i mean. i love you girls!!!!!!!!

if only he's right here right now, with whom i can share this love with. i had a sick feeling that maybe those 2 missed calls i got yesterday was from him......
Someone special blogged @ 9:57 PM l

testing out the baby. uh huh.



nobody. questions. the hair. thanksamill XD heh. proper photos tomorrow :D BECAUSE WE'LL BE GOING OUT OMGSHHH. kama, i hope you make it. you can go out with yusman anytime okaaaay. heeeees :)

i love my baby. i can him Emzzzzzz :D (no, not you, emy. but i love you too :)) Emzzz because when i first turned him on(hohoyeaaa), he went mmmzz. because apparently i pushed the wrong button? HEH. and also Emzzzz is the funky short for Ibrahim.

i found out i get jealous very easily?

"what are you doing?"
"webcamming with hot girl."

KEBABOM. no mood to chat anymore. so i went offline. but he later text to say, "hot girl is my Cousin Ridz. heh." .....i hope he didn't sense my jealousy, seriously. this is so embarrassing. heeeees.

oh yea. another embarrassing thing happened!? you know my huge bag? yea? yea? i knocked down the bin with my bag.

okay no more. NO MOREEE.

almost died in school today :( it was 2 hours of lab, but antoinette was missing in action. soft-spoken Mary Ang took over and seriously, it was unbearable. time wasn't flying at all. and all of us were sooo restless, it was hilarious. because you know, when you're on the excruciating verge of boredom, the terminal kind, and you're clinging hopelessly to sanity.

but sometimes you just got to give in. we gave in.

!!!!??!!

you see us doing the weirdest thing(zafira 'free-styling'), laughing at the little not-very-funny situations(kanna blocked by elton. i know, what's so funny!?), making a fool out of yourself and the unfortunate mate in front of you(wany tickling kama and making her 'dance'). the longest 2 hours of our lives. one week down, SO MANY MORE TO GO!?


Someone special blogged @ 6:00 PM l

because if you don't, i'll kill you.

heeees. anyhooos. 2 hours of lecture on pregnancy with Lecturer Sharon F. she is funny as balls :) well, not Trina-funny. but still.. she made the lecture endurable and quite interesing. and she would make a really good ambassador of SMRT, the Please-Give-Up-Your-Seat-To-Pregnant-Ladies campaign.

sharon described the placenta as a 'large pizza'. mixed reactions from the students.

- awe(bet you didn't know that!),
-disgust(never looking at a pizza the same way)

later in the lecture, when we got to the page on discharges from the vagina during pregnancy, she, and i quote, said, "if the discharge comes out sticky and yellow, then(there's) chances of an infection. think cheese on a pizza :D!!!" and she did an elaborated gesture with her hands and fingers, like she had got something sticky in between them. (and the smiley because she was grinning.)

and i was wrenching. but the good kind. like when a friend cracked a crude joke and you laugh at it good-naturedly. however the class was shouting in terror. some were defensive. pizza-fan. sharon seemed a little amused at how we reacted to her ..metaphors. "oh, you all like pizzas is it?" "not anymore!?" a girl shrieked back.

did you know cervix is hard??? we didn't. sharon told us it was hard. and she said we could try and feel it for ourselves... she said it as-a-matter-of-factly, as if it's normal to put your finger up your vagina and feel the cervix. just for fun. "and when you're pregnant, you can feel with your fingers in your vagina, that the walls of your cervix pulsating." i know we all were trying to be professional about it. we are young adults, but still. it tickled!!!! pun unintended. i mean, okay we believe you. i think we'll pass the idea of experiencing it first hand.... hehh.

oh and during first labour, the cervix of a pregnant mother widens by 1cm every.hour. hoh yea. hohhh yeaaaa.

anticipating the weekend already.

delighting me always:D
Someone special blogged @ 8:39 PM l

blogger is not loading my pictures! boo!!! but anyhoos. so this semester we have the opportunity to pick an elective module and i had wanted Mandarin, for apparent reasons. but because this is a first come first serve basis, and i am, well, kind of slow, i didn't get in.

so i picked something-English-academic-something.

out of life sciences(no way, jose), arts(which i heard was boring?), psychology(oh god a semester of it is enough thank you) and computering(?). duh i pick english. but something tells me this module is more than what meets the eye.

christopher was cute. "eh??" when he saw me grinning at him. then he lit up in recognition, didn't see the steps in front of him and fell. zaffy was like, "haha! lela, you're too cute!"

i had a heart to heart talk with nana last night :( :)

am having flu. so. yea. stupid haze, ruin my plans to go out tomorrow!! boo to haze.
Someone special blogged @ 10:49 PM l

a movie can bring a pair of sisters, who are usually at each other's throats, together:) it's so sweet. oh, i'm not talking about me. i am the nice sister, the peacemaker. ..more like, don't-care-what-you-do-to-each-other-as-long-you-don't-involve-the-big-sister.

other than that, everybody loves lela.

okay lina just ignored me!? like what the feck!?!? i was like, "EH could you get me MY NEW CANON POWERSHOT please?" and she bloody ignored me!

well, she is watching a movie.

she loves me :)

i'm here to share with you my first day of the new semester:D

i miss ivan loh's lectures :( because we used to have pyschology with him on mondays at eight and i don't know any more perfect way to kickstart the week. this sem, we have biological science on monday mornings. wait i haven't tell you the horrible news yet.

bio science on monday mornings at 9am for 2 hours.

sheer torture.

but i managed to stay awake. i told you, i'm driven :) i don't know for how long this halo will stay there over my afro head but let's make the best of it while it's there XD i mean, i was studying 70 minutes ago!! first day of school!! studying!!! bio!!!

i'm scaring myself!

had a wave of dejavu as i walked into the lecture hall. maybe it was james, standing there.. why is he always the first person i see whenever i walk into the lecture hall. anyways :)

IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE MY GIRLS!? and zaffy is like the sweetest thing in the world. "LELA, omg. you look so different! so pretty! new specs!!!("i grew blind over the hols.") i love your shirt. so nice the colour!"

i was flushing so bad. because wany and kama were like, "..." come on, girls, JOIN HER. HA HA!!! no la XD "aww thank you, zaf. it's ..nice to see you too..." then my pseudo-smile wavered slightly because she was still going on with how cute i look!? i am flattered but there's something else too.

"okay zaf just shut up." HAHAHAHA.

she dropped a bombshell on us...... yea, like KEBABOM! of course i was shattered. i love her, man! we share the same sense of humour, she appreciates my wits and laughs at elton with meXD but hey. as a friend, i ought to respect her decision, no matter how painful it is. chey.. heh. i kind of salute her though. for following the promptings of her heart, and taking charge, and not cower like a coward and try to hide it under a 'whatever, let's get it over with' facade.

2 hours of clinical lab with antoinette :O damn, i love her. well. i don't hate her. ha-ha. i admire her actually. her small frame commands attention, and if you don't give all 100%, you're going down. someone so petite can be so powerful and intimidating....... she's my ROLE MODEL. haha!

4 hours of school today. short, but long. mmkay. got into new subgroups. no more working with kama, sarah, nicole, lidan and wenrui. in a way i am sooo daaaamn glad. but it's sad to leave. ..kind of.. heh it was fun working with them. ..yea it was fun.

oh what the hell. you know what!? really wish we hadn't switch groups :(:( i love kama and sarah and nicole are fun people(at the back of the class, nicole and i were showing off our 'abs' to each other). and i like the thrills of rushing to complete projects, and entering tutorials knowing we had nothing in hand to present...... but in the end, everything goes smooth anyways:)

monday has been smooth. let's hope it stays? BECAUSE IT'S RAYA NEXT WEEK. okay, no link.

dr.yong(bioscience lecturer)'s favourite phrase: "you get sick and then you die." HO THANKS, Dr. Yong!
Someone special blogged @ 9:58 PM l

i was early. yes! yes!
Someone special blogged @ 9:24 PM l

i.........was in a middle of doing some school work and i needed to search on some stuff online and ..oh you know the drill :D EH here's an interesting tidbit I once read:


Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.


Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.

Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.


Candidate B.

He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.


Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the response.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Someone special blogged @ 9:08 PM l

and i hope wednesday happens :) hopefully Sunday happens first!

it happened! sunday happened!! HA HA :D i feel like i dieded and went straight to heaven. i'm feeling excruciatingly exhilarated. butterflies in my stomach.. oh wee. even the thought of school tomorrow doesn't seem to rain on me. ..much... :O

okay i am so going to work hard this semester. i hope i've no problem waking up? it would suck to be late on the first day of the new sem. ..it would suck to be late on any day on this new sem :D i can't promise that i won't be skipping future lectures though........

how is that going to help me, you say? no worries, i have my ways thanksamill XD because i swear there will be NO procrastination whatsoever. and i am going to start studying asap! all i need is self-disciplin, and a whole load of faith, and everything will go my way.

yea! yea!!!

maybe i spoke too soon but i definitely feel motivated :) it's funny how a 410g piece of gunmetal grey plastic(hint hint!) can make a girl feel.
Someone special blogged @ 10:15 PM l

noratiah is having her birthday party as we speak :) she turns seventeen tomorrow! hey, i want to watch videos of you guys on youtube.com okay! i don't care if i sound like a freak stalker, i want to watch videos of your party!!! hohoho

im listening to Britney Spears. AHHA:) hence the title:D kind of suits me. i'm strong. so ignore previous emo-barrassing entry, please. i figured i can't be all glum(?) on my BEST NET BUDDY's birthday eve. so there:D even though it doesn't make any difference since i'm not there at the party physically but i got the invitation so in a sense yea i am there emotionally.

hence here i am(or there i am?). lalala. i'm feeling very random. and so much more.

this feeling is so wrong but so right. oh look! a quiz!

You Should Rule Mercury

Close to sun, Mercury has very long days - and is rarely visible to the rest of the solar system. You are perfect to rule Mercury, because you live for the present - and can truly enjoy a day that goes on forever. Like Mercury, you are quick and elusive. Your wit is outstanding, and you can win any verbal sparring match. Some people see you as superficial, but in truth, you just play many roles and have many interests. A great manipulator, you usually get what you want from people. And they're happy to give it to you.

yea?? yea??? outstanding wit? i don't know about the verbal sparring match bit, because i'd rather sit back and laugh at you. but manipulator?? am i!!? is that why i'm getting my canon powershot tomorrow!??! HAHAHA.

cheers, ya'll :) and i love you atiah! hohoho XD
Someone special blogged @ 11:26 PM l

this was what happened :) before it all fell apart :(

Mr. Frivolity says:
awak tahu kings of convenience?

sanity snapped like a twig says:
tidak
aaaapa tu

Mr. Frivolity says:
k.o.c adalah sebatang band
XD

sanity snapped like a twig says:
hahahah!
band datang dari mana

Mr. Frivolity says:
kalau tidak salah, mereka berasal dari norway

sanity snapped like a twig says:
adakah mereka hebat?

Mr. Frivolity says:
ya, itu benar sekali

sanity snapped like a twig says:
oh hebat tu

Mr. Frivolity says:
lagu-lagu mereka adalah unik

sanity snapped like a twig says:
bagaimana itu unik

Mr. Frivolity says:
mereka hanya menggunakan two batang gitar
XD

sanity snapped like a twig says:
!!!

funny la :) despite our terminally outrageous bahasa malay baku :( but for non-malays out there(and noratiah), just so you know 'batang' is an incorrect word to use before the word 'band' or 'gitar'. ....band is not even a malay word!? :) cikgu majidah will cry if she ever reads this.

i love that nick. because i can totally relate to it. quote it of Ruoyan's. she is funny. i miss her :(

sanity snapped like a twig. squashed like a bug. but if you're a bug in my room, you don't get squashed on. you get screamed(at fright) at. for i hate bugs.

i am so glad school is starting. get my mind of things. i will regret this once school starts but i miss presentations:D and lectures:D and i hope wednesday happens :) hopefully Sunday happens first! then wednesday HAD BETTER happen.

gots to fly. pray im in a better mood in the next entry. this is so dull.

Tomorrow - Avril Lavigne (syak's favourite song..she was singing it and i was listening to the words and kind of fell in love with it so here it is:

and i wanna believe you
when you tell me that it will be okay
ya i try to believe you
but i don't

when you say that it's gonna be
it always turns out to be a different way
i try to believe you
not today...

i dont know how you feel
tomorrow, tomorrow
i don't know what to say
tomorrow, tomorrow is a different day

it's always been up to you
it's turning around it's up to me
i'm gonna do what i have to do
just don't
give me a little time
leave me alone a little while
maybe it's not too late
not today
Someone special blogged @ 3:37 PM l

nurool and stick...and dirty drain:D
okay firstly thanks for trying to stop me from doing something as impulsive and crazy as shaving my head and going (SPARKLY)purple. take it easy, man :) it won't be a real shave. to think i mentioned 'not completely' for 4-5 times??

you know i'm still going ahead with, thanksamill :D

you know i've done crazier stuff :) why can't you guys stick with me here!!! and give me a hand with the electronic shaver!! (i found one in momster's room which used to belong to my dad's.. this is going to be so convenient.) you know if you're going to get a tattoo written in Japanese on your buttcheek, i'd be the first to cheer you on......with a childish grin and a camera on my hand, ready to click that shutter.

first the guitar, now the current camera. before i could stop myself, i went like, "hey i'm selling my canon powershot for 200 bucks. who's interested?" i never thought anyone would be, but my cousin was! and she was like so keen and she looked so delighted(i think she's been eyeing my camera for quite a while?) it would be mean if i burst out saying, "just kidding!"

i wonder how she's going to get a 200.

just when i thought i could have it all to myself...now i have to share! i'm not selfish(heh), just possessive over my stuff....okay, which is just worst. great, lela, you're downgrading yourself and you're telling the whole world.

i'll be gone before i start spilling information you do not want to hear.
Someone special blogged @ 9:52 PM l

blogger is a wee bit "F'ed up" for the moment so i am typing this in Notepad:D yessha. because i want to say that i have a mega huge crush on mr. khairuddin shaharom. he's an architect and architects, after nurses, are sexy.

i am so tangled up right now :) it's the hair.

"do something about the hair PLEASE," momster said.
"i already washed it, what more do you want!"

so tomorrow i am cutting my hair. i am going to shave the sides. not completely. then i'm going to make the rest short. but not completely. then i can go mohawk. but not completely. then i look like my sister. but not completely!!! i hate my sister!!! well. at least my hair is NOT BROWN!

next she's going to come home with a pierced lip. I WILL KILL HER. i wanted a pierced lip first. but i'm too chicken to do it. i am a chicken. but not completely! :D:D

at least i'm not cocked up like blogger right now :)

if only batteries were free. i think our lives would be PERFECT.

she's so silly. she dared to dye her hair but she was too chicken to face to consequences(momster). she put a towel over her head for 2 days, telling everybody she was having a terrible headache and i actually fell for it: "oh aweshum. maybe i should try that. putting a towel over my head." and she was like, "....yea, yea you do that."

and we went out and she had a cap over her head and momster hates it. she thinks girls shouldnt wear caps or beanies or baggy pants and t-shirts. "girls must be feminine and you are a girl!" ("LINA IS??" i gasped at the background. the only one laughing was syak.)

she took it off and BOO! her brown hair screamed at us. i was like, ..aweshum...can i have purple hair :) SPARKLY purple(inside joke between me and hannan). i saluted her for being bold and going ahead with the decision to dye her hair without momster's consent. but i wanted to kick her ass because she had no balls to be responsible for her own acts.

i....................right now, if i were bold, i'd get that Canon Powershot S3 IS :) i mean, approval i already have. and the cash comes with just a touch of some 6 digits on a machine:D all i gots to go is fly by Best Denki and get my hands on it. but i'm not bold.

maybe it's not a question of boldness.

i hope you don't think i'm rich. DUDE YOU KNOW I'M NOT RICH..*looks at noratiah* but i(i mean, my mother) still can afford some stuff here and there, just a matter of whether i want to or not. i don't want to be like those greedy kids who are ungrateful of what they already have and just want more and more. but if they can, who's to stop them, right?

it's like, you're happy. but you can be happier. and you will be happier. if you just have that one damn thing!

that one damn thing.
Someone special blogged @ 10:20 PM l

i took this questionnaire a year ago:D heh. got it from my old blog(buginmycoffee.blogspot). i love reading back what i wrote. yes, we all should laugh at our own selves once a while. i heard it's healthy. hoho. okay, so the one in italic is the recent whereas the other is what i wrote 12 months ago.

it's interesting how things changed yet there's that sense of a mocking familiarity that i find rather comforting :)

THREE THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:

- my guitar. lovesloves.
- music.
- coffee

music and coffee are essentials. and it's my CAMERA now, that i can't live without..(seriously? i am considering selling away my guitar for some cash :O i am cruel!)

THREE THINGS I COULD BUY WITH $1,000:

- not much, im afraid. haha.
- i could go for a major retail therapy.
- but id rather splurge on food..treat my friends :)

a canon powershot S3 1S!!!yea god knows i need new wardrobe.yea we all could use a little treat!!!:D

THREE BAD HABITS I HAVE:

- procrastinating.
- easily distracted.
- ..sometimes purposely delaying my cats' feeding time.

it's ingrained in me, procrastination :(i think too much and i freak myself out. i say the wrong things at the wrong time. i think too much!! too much!!! AAHH. heh.

THREE SHOWS I LIKE:

- charmed.
- whose Line is it Anyway?
- kumars at no 42

charmed, yea! grey's anatomy! and ellen degeneres show ;) hilarious shit.

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT
YOURSELF:

- my randomness and my wittiness.
- my maturity. i know when to be childish, and when to take things like an adult.
- in general, I love myself a lot.

i've compassion and empathy and these come from life experiences. personally i believe, if only we could just put others needs before us and try to walk a mile in their shoes, we'll be better people and all the problems in the world can be solved. ..i should rule the world. HAHA. nahh:)

THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT
YOURSELF:

- i gotta be more firm. people tend to take advantage of my kindness.
- at my worst, i can be really really horrible. dont we all?
- it seems that theres nothing i can do to truly make my moster proud of meeee :(

i AM firm now. to the point of being cynical :( but i'm not so horrible as before, i feel:) thanks to the experiences i have being a nurse. but people may think differently from me. all i know is that i don't judge people so harshly now. and labels SUCK!!! BOO!!!!

mommey are you proud of me????

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

- losing another loved one
- the o's are comiiiing!
- grad night..... looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time.

- losing another loved one tops the list, i'm sure not only for me but for all of us.
- o's? what o's??? hahaha. WELL. o's are over! it's another hurdle altogether now. clench a diploma in nursing. i'm going to be a nurse! that, is scary.
- grad night?? as in PROM?? HA HA!? that is over thank goodness. the new semester scares me a bit:)

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO
TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
- next 12 months!?!??!
- try to get use to my new jc (hopefully!) or poly
- try be a better sister, a better daughter..a better friend.

i am getting used to nanyang poly:D it's going to be like my 2nd home or something? and i'm still striving to be the better sister, the better daughter and the better friend. nobody says it's easy. they don't say it would be this difficult either.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:

- study continuously for straight hours without stopping to squeeze a black head. haha! joke.
- i cant sleep without my delfy..
- i cant hit high notes.

- i still can't hit high notes!?!!
- i cannot push the commode in a straight line.
- i cannot wake up immediately after the alarm.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

- reading(out loud).
- writing.
- dreaming.

- photography, writing, even more dreaming.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY
BADLY RIGHT NOW:

- have peanut butter and chocolate bread.. but..must..endure!!!..
- my bio! i have to complete 2 more chapters!!! ..right.
- i want to clean up my room..without moving a finger. if thats ever possible?

- talk to you.
- go out there and take photos with you.
- sing my heart out but it's almost midnight and momster will kill me.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:

- a columnist.
- a social worker.
- anything that requires serving people. yea!

- a freelance HUMOUR columnist:D
- a freelance photographer
- A full time NURSE :D

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE
YOU DIE:

- make everybody proud of me.
- i wanna meet my ex bestfriends jonathan and fitri.. theres so much catching up to do :)
- shout "I've led THE BEST LIFE ever" at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

- win something, for crying out loud x)
- BE RECOGNISED for my talentwork and make the goddamned country proud. some day:D!!
- YES, Eiffel Tower. HERE I COME.

Someone special blogged @ 11:38 PM l

i am thrilled. thrilled that classes start at 9am, and not earlier than that. and end at 5 the latest. and on mondays, i only have 4 hours of torture?? that is very kind already okay? oh wednesdays are better: 1110 til 1450. YESSA. i love love love wednesdays already. hannan finishes his at 3 so he'd better stay by his phone because i'll be hollering him back!

i used to HATE breaks? maybe because the length of them added together were unreasonable during the first semester. but this semester, on mondays and wednesdays, it's 4 hours straight. and that thought is scaring me a wee bit.

still anticipating school?

:D i say yes? i miss kama and zafira so much! and looking forward to my lovelies class of 0622. and hopefully i get to see shirin and xiu ling :D and maybe HIM and OF COURSE, bumping into nurool and carisa always makes my day.

oh yea. i'm camera-window shopping later! HA HA. i don't know why i'm torturing myself like this...... knowing i can't have it, but i just want to touch it. so near yet so bloody far!!!! ARGH. okay it's good that i'm fasting. self-control!! yea:D

you'll hear from me soon. so control yourself! xP!!!!
Someone special blogged @ 2:44 PM l

mundane

Mr. Frivolity says:
it's okay isn't it
Mr. Frivolity says:
it's good
Mr. Frivolity says:
it's refreshing!

shutting up says:
haha it was silly
shutting up says:
it was frivolous!

so what is okay/good/refreshing/silly/frivolous??? :D:D:D hoho i can't say..im shy!! apparently hannan gets a kick out of it. well, okay i do too. but to a certain extent!!! we freaks.

Mr. Frivolity says:
i think we're cool enough to pull of this conversation
Mr. Frivolity says:
imagine other people talking about this
Mr. Frivolity says:
they'd be so corny and lame

shutting up says:
hahah!!
shutting up says:
we are so weird
shutting up says:
whacked

Mr. Frivolity says:
i guess it happens when two cool people meet
Mr. Frivolity says:
a reaction
Mr. Frivolity says:
cool + cool = whack

shutting up says:
kebabom

thinking of that saturday gives me goosebumps. in a good way. see, we have this thing going on and its like a one night stand thing. only better because it's weekly. minus the dirty deeds, please. ..okay so that makes it weekly night stands, duh.

this morning at 6am, i was out. but i wasn't inspired so i didn't take so many photos(aweshum, blame it on inspiration now ey? or lack of). it got so humid after a while. got a wee bit thirsty after the walk:D but i refused to think about it by practising self-denial. but really, what's worst was being there on your own.

i need a cam-partner!?!!!

okay fine, don't get me the Canon EOS. i can live with that(actually i can't). but please show me the one to go around random places of Singapore with me, be it noisy Chinatown, colourful Kampong Glam, beautiful Botanic gardens, or the empty ghostly streets of Neo Tiew(Ghost Town of Singapore. google it if you should). whatever weather condition, wherever the venue, whenever the time..

is that too much to ask for!!!!!!!!!! :O!!! i'll marry you:D

..okay how does scaring potential cam-partners help, hm?

Someone special blogged @ 4:16 PM l

what missing is a model.. looks at nurool
FINALLY. i can put up damn pictures:D this was taken long ago. you know? when we weren't hit by the HAZE!? yea!? haze ruins pictures :( ..yea blame it on the weather, lela. you suck, your camera sucks. period :( i want a Canon EOS. saw this lady carrying it around and i was tempted to flee with it tucked in my arms. HAH! :) nawww, that's wrong.

i went out today. and yesterday. and the day before. i took a couple of pictures. at first it was cool. i mean, the effect of the haze and everything.... then it started to get boring. then syak started to get annoyed because i kept stopping. i told her off. nicely. and she was a little surprised at how cool i was. and decided to annoy me further. "DON'T push your luck, sister!" i said angrily. and she smiled and told me she prefer my being angry then nice. so i continued being nice.

i am trying to beat Noratiah in the Longest Entry Ever Blogged. hohhh yea. who's feeling me?:D nyeheehhe. i already lost in the Interesing Entry Ever Blogged department(she went on rides, made 2 new friends and had a caricature picture of themselves done! how cool is that!?). so this is my chance. you know i am the whore of words, the goddess of long-winded entries.

okay this is going to be hard since i didn't do much:D HA HA. well, i went out to break fast with Twins.....? :)

i thought i got the wrong KFC. because i couldn't spot them. called them up, trying not to sound like i was panicking. it was 6.50pm. how many KFCs are there in Ang Mo Kio. i spent 60 seconds counting. one, only one KFC in AMK. i should be at the right one.

then i saw my sister lina. WHAT? oh come on.. AMK is not that small! she was waving at me. i didn't waved back. she looked like a retard with the fauxhawk. no way am i acknowledging her! :D!!! she looked hurt. so i called her(she was 3 queues away):

"i saw you la, gundu. what are you doing here?"
"our beloved mother wants Zinger for Buke."

of course.

i'm so happy:D i mean, for my sister. she's adapting to her new School. and my mother's going to start working again. syak's PSLE will be over soon and i'm starting new semester in a week's time and my grandparents are looking fab and my cats are growing fat. life is fecking good, i was thinking.

so was having a moment right there(HAHA!) when i spotted the Twins, hiding behind some random guy. they immediately turned away and pretended to be engrossed in a conversation. :O!!! :D!! i wondered how long they had been there. apparently quite long because they couldn't quit teasing me afterwards.

remember when i met up with syahira 3 months ago? and we were in the lift at the campus(nyp) and she told me she likes girls and i told her i like girls too and she started looking at me Weird and i was getting the vibe and i almost died in the lift but i didn't because she was just messing with me???

so i almost choked on my Cheezita Pocket when the other twin told me she likes girls too! i was like, WHAT you too??? :D let's start a cult. HA HA.

"lela your hair grown!" syahira said. "last time you looked like a.." whispered"b*tch."
"a bitch!?" i shrieked. the guy next to us spilled his coke.
"butch!" more coke spilled.
"i do?"
"yea la."

somehow she looked disappointed. like i let her down or something. i looked at her.. something overwhelmed me. i think it was fear.. .......don't get it twisted, lela! no!

(is this long? are you dying???)

okay this is for EMY: sedang kita berbuka, kita pun berbual la. diorang yang banyak cakap, aku dengar jer. and ketawa at the appropriate time. HA HA? tetapi ianya amat mengerikan apabila diorang got to the part where they described to me how they became lessies. wait this is english.

i told them they were oversharing. dah, cukop! i don't need to know thaat in depth! hoho. and they kept doing that weird thing with their hands! like how bapoks do it? yea? yea! and i was like, why are you doing that!?

after makan, we went to the mosque to pray:D we made so much fuss there! like, okay where do we put our shoes? because we heard so much about shoes and slippers being stolen at the mosque and everything. "kiter buat aper cikgu rahim cakap la! satu kasot letak sini, lagi satu letak saner!" ("one shoe place here, the other in another place!")

i thought they were kidding but they did exactly that. so i laughed my ass off because people were staring. ..people were staring because i laughed my ass off? ..people were starign because i, who happened to wear a t-shirt with a huge skull in the middle, was laughing my ass off? ...anyways:D

this guy was trying to chat us up! at the mosque! how dare he. never seen a pair of heavily-eyelined twins and a pseudo-punk girl making a scene about where to hide their shoes before?? xD!!!

after our prayers, we walked about aimlessly... went to SportsLink because they wanted to get shin pad? for their soccer training? or something. yea. this sales guy was trying to chat us up! okay not really. but he was horny!

"i thought only guys play soccer?" (gosh this guy is sad!!)
"got girls' team also. now all JCs have soccer for girls." syahida just HAD to brag:D "i play for something something(a local club which i forgot what).."
"eh? never heard before leh, the club."
"it's a new club."

i glanced at syahira, who was grinning madly. i was trying not to laugh. is this guy buying all these??? that makes him sad and stupid!

"so you think Singapore team can enter the S-leagues?" the guy went again.
"only if the coach is good."
"what if you are the coach?" he winked. "surely can one."
"my father is a coach," syahira interrupted.
"who? fandi ahmad?"
"fandi ahmad's best friend."
"yea right. then noh alam shah is your boyfriend," he said sarcastically.

okay so he wasn't thaaat stupid:D

"EX-boyfriend," corrected syahida.
"yea? how many times you sleep with him?"

our laughter became nervous giggles.

"i don't play one night stands," she said, looking uncomfortable already.
"use condom or no use condom?" he ploughed on.
"EH can you please do your job???!!" syahira said, thrusting the shinpad under his nose. "how much is this???"

she turned round but i was already gone. HA HA. horny guys scare me! and it wasn't helping that this guy looked like frankerstein! :D!!!!? we left the building without turning back. HHAHAHA.

"there's bubble tea drink near here right?" they said, looking over people's heads into the far distance.
"yea, like right here." i jerked a thumb to my near left.
"right!"
we laughed about that for 2 minutes.

AMK is so vibrant at night:D not really. but there was loud music and there was this stage and people were line dancing. it was nice:) i wished i had my camera, seriously. no i wish i had a Canon EOS. OH YESS.

i had fun with them like i've always had for 10 years now:) the jokes and the kicks never get old. so what if the other girls couldn't make it??? though we'd kill someone to have sriee with us. seriously!!! :D!!!!!!!

the thing about friends like them, no matter the distance, you know they are always there. even if you don't actively keep in touch through msn or sms, you know they will always always got your back. and you got theirs:D they are my sisters. annoying, and we're always trying to out-tease the other.

(we have 2 Aslindas, one short and one super tall.)"you know Aslinda pendek?"(pendek means short, noratiah:D) and syahida raised her hand to indicate the height 'short'. then she hesitated and increased the length a bit til to my head. "yea. pendek."

took me a while to register the insult. then i kicked her.

they walked me home! i mean, they walked me home!!! in the haze!!! yea, man. i wished i had my camera!!! no i wish i had this look at this baby. oh yes. oohhh yesss!!! :( i'd kill somebody to get my hands on this. preferably my relatives. YEA:D okay no la. i'm nice. i'd smash my laptop for this! i'd run downstairs butt naked!!(yea, haze camouflage my bare ass!) oh yea here's the ultimate: i'd take the mrt!!!! HAH!!!! ..you know i hate mrts:D

photography is a very expensive hobby. ..i shall dream of you tonight.
Someone special blogged @ 9:36 PM l

We have time, for everything.
To sleep long, to run from one place to another,
to regret our mistakes and to repeat them again,
to judge others, to explain ourselves...

We have time for reading and writing,
to correct what we've written,
to regret ever having written

we have time to make promises that we don't keep
we have time to make illusions and gamble
through their ashes later on.
we have time for our ambitions and our problems
we have time to blame our destiny and the details,
to watch the clouds, adds or some ordinary accident

we have time to chase away questions
and postpone our answers
we have time to break a dream to pieces and then
to reinvent it,

we have time to make friends, to lose them
we have time to learn our lessons and then
forget them quickly afterwards.

we have time to receive gifts and not understand them.
We have time for everything.

We just never find the time for a drop of tender care.
when we're about to do that too - we die.


octavian paler
Someone special blogged @ 6:15 AM l

i hope you see this:D!!!! okay i know i said i'll put a picture for every entry but this is not counted because this is not really an entry. i'm just passing the time til Charmed starts. then i'll be gone. me and my chips. yea. yea! so. 10 more minutes.

oh and if you're reading this, HEYY congrats! you managed to navigate yourself around! was it hard??? i'm sorry if it was. hoho. yes, those hearts. deceiving aren't they. mm hm.

i'm so full, i am sleepy :(

gdad saw how i caught the packet of potato chips in my hand from momster so perfectly. "wah. not bad ar," he said, rubbing his chin. and i grinned at him smugly. next thing i knew he was lobbing objects at me and i was struggling to catch every single of them, especially the cat............... :D!!!!! cheeky la, my grandfather. i love him.

3 more minutes:D ho i love this space.
Someone special blogged @ 8:23 PM l

i realised i haven't really put up any photos recently. that is because i hadn't been going out photographing(new word)!!! BAD! i've been lazy!?:( i hate myself sometimes. sucks being me right now. SUCKS. my camera is collecting dust! the beautiful photo above is not taken by yours truly, fyi. it's beautiful isn't it :)

like reading books make me want to write, looking at brilliant photos make me want to take brilliant photos as well. yea. i'm driven. THATS IT. i'm going out to take photos tomorrow! i know i always say that but in the end, nothing's done. this time i'm fo real, yaw!!! HAH.

i swear i won't blog without a photo at the beginning of the entry. yea you mark my words.

don't cry for me. hoohoo
Someone special blogged @ 10:15 PM l

random swirls of thoughts capering me like flies. what am i thinking of?

do you know what's the scariest thing in the world? thinking and believing you're truly happy but in an actual fact you're not. you're not sad or depressed, you just could be happier. you know? you're all into the bright side of life. but let's be realistic: are you truly content? is this what you want? or are you living a lie. but what does it really mean to be happy anyway.

yea maybe we should think about that. what does it mean to be happy. what makes you happy??? oh yea this is deep.

aiya. apsal seh gini? ITU EMO HELMOT, BAWAK SINI PLEASE. macehh..

haha i'm okay :) i'm just thinking, that's all. ohhh yes i am fine, i am happy. .......well.. im not sad. so. yea:D!!!

i went out with momster and there was this watch which she wanted. which is weird because i never knew she was into material stuff. thats what i like about her; she doesn't spend money on jewelleries or expensive watches or shoes. so that means more money spend....on us:D!! so anyways.

she didn't get the watch because i was there and i was like, are you serious? you're getting the watch? and she went, no of course not and i went, so put down the watch la. there, there, give back the lady the watch, mother. good girl...

too lazy to put in the " " so go figure! :D!!!

the watch isn't that expensive. ..it won't be if the 3 of us(sisters) share the amount, right!! haha! yea!!! so now im just waiting for the allowance from the hospital to come in.. i've been going down to the bank thrice now, updating my bank book but the digits remain the same!! come on!! i want my money! xD

i'm still thinking. i ought to blog in MALAY. HAHAHA. imagine noratiah's face as she struggles to comprehend. oh come on:D it'd be fun! i just want to RELEASE. mm yea:D bring out the minahrep in me. cheh no la :O!!!

there's so much i want to do sia. NEED, more like. i need BOOKS. books never fail to make me pick up the pen and write. and that is what i should be doing. WRITE. yea. this is what i should go, in order of importance:

1) WRITE
2)

yea, suddenly nothing else matters.

bet you didnt know i've been cooking! HA HA. okay no. but i've been helping out in the kitchen! and i've learnt a thing or two! and ever since the experience with patients in the ward, i've been..treating my grandparents extra special :) like, i'm nicer to them. not that i wasn't before! but i speak to them with more ....i don't know. i'm afraid to say. you'll judge me!!! :O!!!

cooking is like chemistry. because i suck at both, as it turns out! ..oh yea and because both involve mixing stuff. yes that to. anyways. i suck! i have nooo idea when's the right time to add the other ingredients. or how big the flame should be. and i'm forgetful, i'd be like have i put in the salt? was that salt i put!!!???

okay noratiah's sleepy and i am sleepy so i shall end here. GOOD MORNING.
Someone special blogged @ 12:18 AM l

get your mind off the gutter:D

atiqa gave me a link to this ..suspicious looking website. i say suspicious because it has the 4 letter word in it. so i was like HM. but being insatiably curious, i clicked on it anyway :D:D

so i was required to..what? type in crushes names or something. and then see whom i am compatible with. hoho tempting. tempted! attempted:D because i put in my name. but when i got to the spaces of my crushes' names, i hesitated. not because i was skeptical really. like, how the feck can a computer judge compatibility!? more like:

what am i doing? why do i give out my crushes' names and only let atiqa see when i can publish it here in my blog and make visible to all! even atiqa's cousin's cousin's boyfriend's mother's best friend's fiance can get to know my crushes' names!?

don't ask me what for :D

here are my crushes and to put it simply: every single male student nurses i've worked with. yea so that kind of includes durrani! when he's not in his lame mode la! but excluding christopher. sorry, babe. i don't go for chicks. naaaw, i like you chris:D

then there's that patient bed 36 :):):)

so far throughout my 2 weeks stay in CGH, bed 36 had been occupied by 3 male patients(i was in a male ward). one, this indian guy whom i'll talk about in another entry la. then there was Him:D and after his discharge came in an older patient.

all 3 had left some an impact on me :) so bed36 is quite a significant deal to me.

so he's 18 this year and he caught my heart. how cheesy. cancel that. hahahaha. it's just that, majority of the patients are old people so when we had a youngie admitted, of course we got excited. and he's very good looking, that's a bonus.

i can't say what was wrong with him for obvious reasons. but i can say how it all happened: he called to me, looking sheepish and said he needed to pee. and i had laughed. ..no serious. i went, "hahaa!" because i thought he was, you know, trying to be funny. because i got that from the previous patient(the indian guy) who was around our age and very well and fit. was like, what? you need me to bring you a commode like half of these men??

then i noticed his ..dramatically-bandaged foot(it was twice the normal size of his foot!) and, "oh right. sorry! i thought you were.." thought better of it and shut up. "i'll go get you the urinal!"

he stared at the urinal like it was speaking to him. he held it in his hands but very cautiously. seemed he was bracing himself like as if the urinal would burst to life AND talk to him. well, seemed to him the idea of peeing in a urinal which a 17-year-old student nurse had brought him(after laughing at him when he requested he needed to pee!?) seemed a wee bit dramatic? he is 18. not 80.

then i had said, "i know. i know. i bet if you could, you would drag yourself along the floor with that crazy bandaged foot of yours(i had to add) and pee the normal, dignified way. correct?" and he smiled and WHAM! cupid hit me! flower petals shaped of hearts rained on me.

haha. DRAMA SEH :P

some more it was my afternoon shift and we ended at 9pm for afternoon shifts. and i love afternoon shifts because we get to tuck in our patients to bed:D so yea. i tucked him to bed. mannn i was smiling so hard. like what the feck is wrong with you lela?? i dont know!!??:D:D:D:D

unfortunately nothing happened. of course. i was a little heart broken when i came in for work the next day at 1pm and see his bed empty. like, where did he go!? did he really drag himself to the toilet?? HA HA. sad when i found out he was discharged. but i should be happy for him!! yea, happy for him. sad for me!!!? heh.

i kind of deleted an emo entry which i had posted here last night :D heh. talk about emo-barrasing. tsk tsk tsk xP
Someone special blogged @ 5:00 PM l

JustLELA


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