once upon a time nearly 4 billion years ago,

earth was devoid of life.

when life did appear, it was first in water.

then higher organisms appeared which gave rise to more complex life.

human existence is purely accidental..in the main we are part of what we call nature.

human numbers put great pressure and stress on the natural environment.

we should not ignore another extremely powerful motivation, the aspiration to increase human welfare and comfort.

we now conserve individual animal in captivity. but

we do not protect your habitats or the ecosystem.

then where will you live when we reintroduce you to the wild? what will you eat if the foodchain has been systematically eroded?

it seems clear that we have been doing to you what we are on the verge of doing to ourselves.

i hope you don't mind me telling you that your strength and craving for an unrestricted existence make you quite anachronistic.

maybe that's why people consider you incompatible with modern times.

i have collected these images for all of us.

your devoted friend.




text: britta jaschinski :)
images: lela ismail ;)

to all the things that remain wild

Labels: bleedingwords

Someone special blogged @ 10:29 AM l

photographs above are marvellous, aren't they? and there are alot more where these came from! they were taken by the master of photography, andre kertesz. it's cool, i never thought he even existed either, if i hadnt came across his book in the library today. his book filled with amazing photographs like those above.

i was so so captivated la. i want to publish my own set of photographs :D i could start now!!! ~~ i think i just miiight!!!~

this is my favourite photo of all: the lost cloud.

Someone special blogged @ 10:14 PM l

date: 28th april. time: 5.41pm!! location: the hairdresser's(shall not be named!). currently: writing this(WHY DO I EVEN ASK AR?) while the young hairdresser(let's call her lilianbecause that's her name) is still trying to recover from the shock of seeing the afro hairdo on my mother's hair is combing down momster's hair with a giant brush.

don't let them boys fool you.. gotta love that afro hairdo.

i just ended class 40 minutes ago. momster had called me and asked if i'd like to accompany her to the hairdressser's. i said no, in which she later DEMANDED i be there. thus here i am! :D

currently singing too: jason mraz..I'm off like an aeroplane/I'm licking your postage stamp again/I'm using my right brain and I'm praying that we don't crash/Who knew I'd come so fast?/So what if a two pump chump can't last/But I made it to three and i Foreclosed a five-minute fantasy/on a short lived flight making love on economy

if there is one thing i've learnt, that is not to take mr mraz's words to his songs literally....... and another thing i've learnt too, is that ernest sum is one hell of a toot. thanks for enlightening me on the hidden sexual contents behind this song!! yup! i sure needed that!!!! :O

..do you seriously think he is singing about being on an airplane?

anyway back to my mother: i turn around and laugh at her hair. just being mean, you know :) if you think my hair is bad, momster's could stop the traffic. she looks like a poodle la :) "with that much of hair," i say, "it's going to be a long evening!!"

"you also want to cut ar?" asks lilian. her eyes shone dollar signs.

i think i shall browse through those hair styles magazines(?) and laugh at their hair. but secretly wishing i have straight manageable hair instead of this crazy mane :) NOT xP don't let them boys fool you.. gotta love that afro hairdo.

"how much you charge to wash the hair also?" momster is asking. oh! goodness!! who does she think she is, seriously?? :) "twenty??? so expensive? lower a bit la.. fifteen?"

okay, seriously now.

BACK tO SATURDAY MORNING :) time: 8.50? oh i dont know. all i know is that i'm meeting ryan at the library at 11 and then helping nana out with her math at 3. two of my favourite people in one saturday. how fab is that?

last night i had an ugly row with lina. i hate her so much. she's so unreasonable, bitter and rotten. she's always ruining my day with that face of hers i feel like smashing against the wall. sometimes i feel she doesnt respect me as an older sis. and that every time i try to advise her on some stuff, she will tell me to shut up. and she uses my things and never put them back. and there's a stain on my racerback top she had worn to the gym(she's thaaat free to go to gym! BEACH.)

i hate it when i hate her. because then i become her. unreasonable(it's only a stupid top!!?), bitter(did i just call her a bitch??) and rotten. so i figure i'll just let her be.

made me recall of that conversation i had with momster at the hairdresser's. i asked her: "do you think she even go to school?? i mean, where are her books?? and she wears sneakers and coloured ankle socks.. and she goes out to 'school' as late as 7.30am. you see where i'm getting at?"

"maybe she goes to school. maybe she doesnt."
"and you don't care?"
"i don't know what to do about her anymore, ela.."

sigh my mother is another problem altogether.. she's so weak.

OH feck that. i had fun on friday, even though the day was draggy and the breaks were a waste of time. and did you know, i was early as hell, only to find out it was e-tutorial this week so we didnt actually need to be present; just sit at the computer and do self-directed learning???? AAAND the bullshit thing was the next lesson was at 12. what to do for 3 fecking hours????

went to ePlaza la. boring. but i got to see michelle :):) AAAAHH. hehehehhehehe. anyway. the rest of the day was crap. but still endurable(?). zaffy and i were talking about how much we love the swing..and the next thing we knew, we were at the playground at Block E, swinging....... talk about deprived childhood :) but it's cool. i've a feeling that's gonna be our chill out place la.

why is there a playground in a campus anyway? they said it's for the lecturers' children to play..? i dont know. WELL. i like it~ swing our stress away!
Someone special blogged @ 8:47 AM l

time: 1116. location: NYP library. currently doing: writing? whereas the rest of the student population is studying/revising/going through the alien names of the bones that made up the hip bone.

currently feeling: EASY, despite the fact that i was 40 minutes late for tutorial today. thus missing class completely. there goes my clean 100% attendance :) !!! currently listening to: ryan cabrera.. can you feel the rain? can you feel the cold surround you? you and i are the same, perfect in our own weird way..

yes. me and those other poor NYP students at the bus stop waiting for the 76 to arrive, are the same. having to suffer wait for more than 50 minutes. it was as though 76 had mysteriously disappeared from the face of this universe and beyond!!!! imagine my agitation!?

"hey gals. i missed my bus. eh no. my bus missed me. so i'll be a wee bit late. not a lot. just a wee bit:D let's pray now." -a text message from me to zaffy and mria(that's how i sound when i call her name..such a long name la!). it was..0832.

currently found out: sarah ponteng too!:D whee! and that the lecturer was slenge/belo. he didnt record the attendance. he pulled a dennie! HAHA. i heard too that he dismissed the class after 20 minutes........ just like last week!! so it was like dejavu! only..without me in it! HAHA? YES. LUCKY ME, then.

0845: i had sent an sos to zaffy and mria "my bus is not here yet!! freaking out now!! you go ahead. not highly recommended." they did anyway. 0850: i got all jumpy. this guy i recognised from nursing too, who was 20 minutes ago, bobbing his head to his mp3, was now 'bobbing' for totally different reasons.

0859: i gave up. no sight of my bus, or ANY, for that matter!!! the people at the stop with me were getting restless. one middle-aged lady in a suit had hailed a taxi whereas this old man in jogging pants was cursing in hokkien. ..me? I WANT MY MOMMYYY..

..to be continued.

was at the library when i wrote that. had met up with the rest of the class to chill out while waiting for our next lesson which was at 12. haha YES believe it. 76 took like an HOUR to arrive after i missed one. i know it doesnt normally take AN HOUR because across the street is another bus stop and yes, i had counted. five 76 buses had passed.

what, the bus driver SLEEPING AR. transported into some twilight zone or what? HUH? HUHH!!? i wanted to strangle that bus driver. but i realised if i had strangled him, then who was going to drive the bus. OH WELL. so i missed bioscience tutorial. WHEE!! i heard it wasn't much anyway.

lecture at 12 was for 2 hours. watched videos on effective communication :) the more i watched, the more i can't wait to start nursing for real. i dont know la :) i just can't wait.

there was 3 hours break after that. SIGH. then a lecture on bioscience with dr bryan chua :D WHEE! so what did we do for 3 hours. well, mria went home :) i was tempted, but i didnt want to be late for chua's lecture:D:D

i found out that every time khairul laughs, his eyes will slant!!! like cats' eyes. SO CUTE LA. he looks exactly like those chinese opera characters, with his funky brows and a light moustache:) plus the fact that he looks cheena.

he tore an empty can of drink :O no, seriously. first he crushed it with his giant fist. then he TORE it. alamak! HULK! haha. i was like, WAH SO FIERCE. that's been my favourite phrase lately. everything is fierce to me la.

it seemed i was the only one excited for the lecture :) we all got into the hall to find dr chua sitting there, looking dazed. he looks like this comical character from sesame's streets :) "before i start, is there any..good singers here?" he had asked.

"ELTONNNN!" we hollered. "singapore idol!!" someone at the back screamed, "TAUFIK BATISAH!" what the feck!??!?! HAHHAHA.

i kept thinking of food during the lecture. actually ive been thinking alot about food. i was hungry. the SOUTH canteen food is bad. that's where the engineering students hang out. and oooh what eye candy:D but yea, the food is bad.

so yea. i was hungry. karen talked about conflicts, i kept hearin "corn flakes." bryan(cehh..) pointed out the scapula(shoulder bone) i thought of samosas and sandwiches :) skali out of the blue, he mentioned 'sandwiches' and i just blurted out, "WHERE SANDWICHES!!?" the whole row started giggling.

so i found out we were to collect our o level certs from our former school. ELATED xia :) an excuse to MEET SRIEE. HAHA. whee! ..i kind of want all of us to go together. us meaning the usual peeps; meya, ali, nana, syidah too? :) then we can sit at our regular spot and reminise(?). it will be funn wouldnt it?

a quote from dr. bryan chua: "who has given birth here before? come on, don't be shy!"

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 8:43 PM l

love is laughing with each other so hard that you double up, hold your sides, roll on the ground, wipe your tears away and then forget the reason for all the mirth in the first place. ps. NUROOL i'm sorry about todaaaayy~ :(

i haven't watched Take The Lead yet. but I'M GONNA. like i'm gonna finally head down the library this saturday:) with ong ruoyan <3<3>i miss her i need to get books on gross anatomy!! i need pictures, graphics, images!

finally we did some hands on activities. we got to measure each other's blood pressure :) WHOOPIE. the stethoscope is cool. i want one for my birthday. anyway, the 25 of us were separated into 4 subgroups; mine consisting of nicole, sarah, kamaria..and the other two from china(i'm not being racist, i still don't get their names!)

so we were 'assigned' a bed, with the mannequin on it. ..you can't measure the blood pressure of a life-size doll..? duh? so i lifted the mannequin out(i've always wanted to touch one:D), with the help from sarah. we placed it at the corner, and left it there with his(yes, it's a male) hands up high and legs propped up and wide...

when we got to our bed(aherm), nicole was already on it lying in the anatomical position. "i'm ready!" she hollered excitedly. yes, we can see that, dearest!(dearest? and we've only known each other for 8 days?) nicole and i attacked her right arm whereas kamaria and the china ladies took her left.

"nurse sarah!" (nicole)
"hoho scary." (me)
"what is? nurse sarah?"
"nurse sarah."
"WHEII!" (sarah)

sarah kept asking over and over again, "can i pump? can i pump now? what about now?" but before she could inflate the cuff, i would need to locate nicole's brachial artery first. which..wasn't easy. pressed here, pressed there..nothing?? "what are you, nicole!!!?" i bellowed with mock incredulity.

we tried on sarah next. so while i was applying the cuff a few cm above her ante-cubital fossa, nicole disappeared and appeared again with a tray of..thermometers. "i'm here to assist you," she said to me in the im-the-number-one-nurse-here-at-your-service tone. her halo was blinding.

she prepared a thermometer, and was like, "okay, sarah. say 'ah'. tongue up. thermometer in. close mouth. don't bite." !!SHE SOUNDED LIKE A REAL NURSE! clear, assertive and confident. i was amazed :D ..i mean, I had trouble tightening the cuff!!!

"okay, sarah. i am..going to try to locate your pulse now," i said, with an easy smile. ..WHAT! can't blame me for trying! then nicole practically shoved a thermometer in my face. .."i need my temperature taken too????!"

"yes! open up! good. don't bite the thermometer! now find that pulse." .....she's hilarious la.

"what's wrong with me, nurse?" sarah asked, faking distress.(role-playing). "besides being pulse-less."

"muffle muffle muffle." ..took thermometer out of mouth. "as i was saying," i continued, looking remorse, "it's at the terminal stage and i can't do anything." face lit up. "..you just gotta live with it! i do!"

"you're funny!" she laughed. then she turned to the china people, "she's funny!" ..~~~~

it was over tooo soooon! we had to shift the mannequin back onto the bed. so as i stretched over to straighten his shirt with my hand, i accidentally pressed down his penis with my other hand. impulsively, i was APOLOGIZING for squashing a mannequin's plastic penis. if that wasnt bad enough, i actually lifted the penis back to its original erected position.

i didnt thought anyone saw it. until i heard maggie's raucous laughter. she looked at me differently ever since :) HAHA. uh i mean, oh god how could she!?

you know, conducting survey is fun:D calling up your relatives and disturbing their peace. aaand getting away with it.

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 7:54 PM l

2 hours of bioscience(lecture) wasn't that bad!!! we had a different lecturer. a MALE one. and his name is dr.chua. and..he reminded me of our dennis goh in a sense that..first impression, he very the sian. CEH! i meant to say, he so.. aiya. ......

omg. maggie-influenced!!!! HAHA.

okay. can we get back to english please?

..i don't know how to describe dr. chua. can say, i didnt quite get him at first... a bit blur, disorganised, and kept running out to the next room(H.211, where the rest of the students were at; lecture-conferencing).

then in the middle of the lecture, turned out he really wasnt that bad!!! :D in fact, he was pret-tie funny.... but deadpan. you know? like he says something humourous, but with no expression.

and what's the opposite of masculine?? feminine?? okay he is a little feminine. okay noooo.. okay, let's use a scale; on a feminine scale of 0 to 10, he's a 2 la. every time he makes a mistake, he went like, "ooh!"

..................

in fact, he likes to make..little ..squeaky... sound.. ooh. eee. and he thinks no one can hear him but in an actual fact, everyone can.

there was once he was trying to describe the features of a rib bone, and he went something like this, "if you slice the bone this way and this is how the inferior part like it... don't see the superior one. that one you put aside" voice dropped to a murmur(but apparently not soft enough!) "..and cook it.."

!!!!?

"if you can't feel your collar bone, it's time you hit the gym. but if you stand in the rain and you can collect water in your collar bone, then you need to eat more."

!!!!~

okay, it may sound LAME. but the way he said it, it was hilarious. ..maybe because we were learning about the bones in our bodies la. something thaaat dry and boring, anything can be seen as funny.

i find i learn and understand better with a male lecturer :) before this, our bioscienc lecturer was a lady. she's great but her voice puts me to sleep.

OH YEA. there was an error in our timetable. we should have 4 hours of bioscience lectures a week. but in our initial timetable, we only had 3. turned out on thursday, we should have another lecture from 5 to 6.............

and thursdays, we were supposedly dismissed at 2....................... NO FAIR. NO FAIR. NO FAAAAIR. i knew it was too good to be true!! i mean, only 4 hours of school??? ..so now it's extended to 8.

whoopie.

had psychology tutorial in the afternoon. had penny instead of ivan. IT'S COOL. penny's cool :D hehehehhe. "ivan doesnt take you for tutorials," she had said. "i do. and i am sorry, ladies. i can't grow you a goatee."

"it's okay," elton cut in. "you're pretty enough already!" CEHH~ what only, elton.

you know, i realised i have a survey to conduct, which is due thursday.. FECKING HELL. my very first assignment and already i'm showing procrastination. ..more like, ignorance. i hate that word.!!! ..okay now im contradicting.

during break, hung out with elton, khairul, kamaria, and zafira at macs. then.... i heard nurool's voice. HAHA. yes, it was thaaat LOUD. then i turned and yup, there she was, entering. with carisa and nikki :D she took me away and we chilled one table :) i shall forever treasure the breaks i spent with nurool~ ceh. BUT YEA :):) loveloves.

her ORANGE abercrombie jacket is with me. she was so sweet as to lend it to me :D since i was going to spend 2 hours in the freeezing lecture hall.

penny: "today tutorial, just sit back and answer true or false questions." pause. "alright.. just checking, have you had any tutorials before?"

elton: "..false."

WHAT only, elton.

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 8:02 PM l

HAHA. ..okay. there was lecture at 8 just now la and the next tutorial will be in the afternoon. 4 hours to spare. so kamaria and i decided to...BALEK KAMPONG :)

..whereas the rest are probably at the library discussing about the presentation. ..OH MY.

it was so strange..we were walking back to the interchange, whereas this whole throng of NYP students rushing into the campus. ah a stampede~ haha.

you know there's this lonnng walk from the interchange to the campus? yea? we(k. and i) with our tiny frame, were practically shoved to the side. hands against the wall defenselessly, trying not to get throttled. we wanted to head home, not the hospital~~

saw something funny on the way:D

it was RARE to bump into NUROOL in the morning :):) that made my day la. and norine too :):) AND dicky hermawan. those dimples~ AH~.

so.

i put up a tagboard LIAO. it's under SCREAM. uh, it's a pop up..kind of. uh yea. everybody, spam. or i shall put it down after a week or so. ..alah, just tag la xP it will be most appreciated :)

yesterday, blogger was screwed. so i didnt get to publish my entry. i did today, but under the dat 24th of april, which was yesterday la. so, click HERE to read the entry!!!

you know you wanna.

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 9:52 AM l

IM PSYCHED. after eight days of being an SHS NYP student, i've finally found me-self..an EYE CANDY. hahahaahahahahaha. nurool has her LJ, i have my.. PSYCHO LECTURER.

SMITTEN. BIG TIME. hehhe. his name is ivan loh and he is a psychologist slash SHS NYP lecturer. i know you've heard of him! i mentioned him before ..so he's 10 years my senior but who fecking cares? LJ's from china, okay!?

okay, what's the relation.. HAHA.

if you were mine, i'll be your everything. and you'll be the only thing that i would ever need.. i'd let you cage me up and study me like i were some CHIMP :P

okay, that side.. :D MONDAY today was peachy. i like.

first lesson was, yup, psychology. sigh! ivan makes lectures so..so... dreamy sigh! he teaches, yes, and he also craps with us. he'll sidetrack(YES something in common!) to..sometimes irrelevant things.

there was once he was babbling on and on about how he was always picked to be the emcee of any particular event because they believe he 'has no shame', and then the next second, halted abruptly:"okay back to the lesson proper!" and left us hanging.

"you guys need to tell me to shut up or we won't be able to finish on time!" he whined. CUTE.

BUT this girl in front of me kept blocking my view of him la! so annoying. i wanted to hit her.

that was over (curses!) and antoinette took over. and no i have no idea how to pronounce her name... haha. she's this really petite middle aged lady, who teaches us nursing science. she's really petite. wait, ive said that. i'll say that again: she's really petite.

that girl who blocked my view, yea? yea. i had to crane my neck so i can see the really petite lecturer. there was once i practically called out, "EH? where is SHE!?"

wheyy, i hear youu, but i cant seeee youuu~~ *hands melodramatically over eyes*

OH YEA. talk about hearing..i was on my way to the lecture hall, when i HEARD rasyidah's unmistakable voice behind me. i was like !(&@%!(. because you know how ..unique syid's voice is. ..okay you don't. but i do. she has this.. shrill voice which pierces the eardrums and makes you wanna strangle her.

i turned round and strangled her.

anyways. yea. there was a 2 hour break after nursing science lecture with the really petite lecturer(OKAY i'll stop!), where later i met up with NUROOL :D exchanged nikki's purple hairband with her hello kitty wrist watch...needed that for clinical.

CLINICAL was a blast la. HAHA. (i shall skip bioscience because it was a BORE. nurool, it was a BORE. i died, okay.)

after showing us how to take TPR(temperature, pulse and respiration) and apical pulse, we were to..practise on a partner(:D). ..i swear, kamaria and i are the two most slenge bachien people there .somehow the idea of putting a thermometer in each other's mouth was inexplicably amusing. ...

anyway YEA. while everyone else had already put the thermometers in their partner's mouth, we were still figuring out who to put whose thermometer in whose mouth.. ?@?!?!

we ended up taking our own temperature with each other thermometers(of course they were already covered with a specialised plastic la duh).

apparently, only ONE of us needed to have our temperature taken, whereas the other would check the other pulse and respiration. but we were dumb! in a fit of stifled laughter, kamaria pulled the thermometer out of her mouth and made a grab for my wrist. ..she started stabbing her way to find my pulse.........

"takder!!(don't have!)" she cried, her expression a mixture of desperation and amusement.

well, I had other concern in mind. like how the thermometer in my mouth hadnt beep and it was already more than a minute. i kept pointing at it, eyes wide. any longer, it was going to leave a bruise in my mouth~ i crossed my eyes to see the digits on the tiny screen.

...........nothing.

it other words, it wasnt switched on.

oh okay. tomorrow's at eight with a four-hour break after that before continuing with lessons til six.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh yea i got lost today. couldnt find the Eplaza. HAHA. but i was cool. i bet i looked like it was natural for one to walk back and forth along the same corridor.

THEN I SAW MICHELLE and my heart skipped a beat. :D:D:D !!!! MICHELLE!!! she remembered meeeeeeee~ ah. so nice. she did her crazy signature wave, i did a lame imitation one, then dived right into the ladies. don't see me while im in slenge mode!! HAHA. ................. she's so cool and so hot la.

.........im not confused, if that's what youre thinking.

i watched So You Think You Can Dance and....... ......i am so ready to learn more. til then, i just dance like my arse is on fire :) nobody's watching.
Someone special blogged @ 10:10 PM l

time can illustrate the WORTH of friendship. as it goes by, we LOSE the false ones and KEEP the best. you're one of the best i have. THANKS for standing by for all these TIME:)

just look at me, silly me
i'm as happy as can be
ive got a girl guy friend who thinks I ROCK :P

HARROW :)

oh my it's a sunday. SATURDAY passed without a sign. hm. i don't remember doing anything, really. must be one of the world's worst case of oversleeping. ever. either that, or the pain was thaat excruciating.

is that excruciating, in fact. the sore still lingers....

i told you how i slept through bioscience lecture that day? si? si. so i did some self-directed learning today and i'm glad ive covered up the topics i missed.

actually right, bones are very interesting la :D so what if the terms are foreign. i guess anything is interesting if you do it willingly, huh? because it's all a question of attitude.

so i accepted the sponsorship. turned out only the shortlisted will be call for interview. *look of disdain*

okay so the whole FAMILY knew about the sponsorship and they were like oooohhhh and aaahhh and "remember us when you get your first allowance"!! ..just their tacky way of giving support, see.

tomorrow lesson starts at freaking 8 for me and ends at 4 with only a 2-hour break after the first 2 hours. ...is that confusing? HAHA. my bad. you just need to know that i'm dreading mondays, because there are 2 hours of clinical lab with miss ong ah hua. ......i don't really ..into her, see. she's strict. she tries to be nice but that only makes her scarier.

..!!!!!!!!!

but monday the week after(week 3), i only need to be present for ONE module(psychology with ivan loh!!) for not even an hour! HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT.

when i'm dancing with you,
tomorrow doesn't matter.
turn the music up
til the window starts the shatter.
cause you're the only one who can get me on my feet and
i can't even dance.

damn :) what a ghey arse song.
how i wish i wrote that.. !!

hokay. ENJOY the rest of your sunday :)

lots of love from a girl, sometimes The,
lelaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(infinity)
Someone special blogged @ 4:37 PM l

my whole body is aching. every single muscle i never thought i had, is ACHING. oh and my back. oh and my knees and my thighs and my ankles too!! feck!! HELLU??? it didnt hurt this bad during napfa run!?

but inside im feeling chummy :D:D:D

.................maybe it's the ..unexpected companyyyy..jeng jeng jeng. :):) THE FEELING IS MISLEADING. but such a bliss :):):)

or maybe it's the snacks..(i was SO elated when i found out my chips more cookies were there where i've left them. and am having them now with MILK).

maybe it's the dance audition.

...then again, it's because of the dance that IM ACHING LIKE CRAZY ALL OVER.

ONG RUOYAN! they have some of our dance moves too, baby!!! hehehhe. :D:D

before i get into further detail right, let me tell you that my butt is sorehow my day was.. simple. IT WAS A BITCH. i was on my way to campus and already i wanted to go home.

i think it's the fact that it was a friday, and that my class ends at 5.. with 3 one-hour breaks in the middle. PLUS there was a dance audition, which i didnt really think about til during bioscience lecture WHEREBY I SLEPT THROUGHOUT.

ha ha it's so bad. the lecturer was so boring la. and..bones in the skulls???? WHA?? i only got the nasal bone. i remembered feeling my nasal bone like the lecturer instructed..then wham. i was snoozing.......

kamaria laughed at me for minutes straight afterwards. HAHA. zafira was marvelled at how i could sleep right under the lecturer's nose.

yes the whole daaay was boring. ..except for sociology lecture :):) my sociology lecturer is a social worker..duh, i guess. and ive been thinking, maybe i could, you know, branch out. and be a social worker instead.

see, nurses, they deal with a large group of people. people here meaning clients/patients. i'm more of a one-on-one kind of person? i'd rather concentrate on one client.. I WANNA BE A SOCIAL WORKER.

..still considering the sponsorship. had talked to cousin elly about it and she put things to perspective for me. AND THEN SHE SAID: but ultimately, it's your own choice. and sha-zaam. im back to square one.

like i said, you cant say all that influencial stuff and then hope that youre not influencing?! but i understand where she coming from la :)

3 years. sigh.

OKAY. DANCE AUDITION. we got in the dance studio, which was PACKED. had sat next to this..guy....which straightaway initiated a conversation with me! at first, i was really, you knoooow.. :D:D then..he started babbling....... i found myself zoning out after the first few words that came out of his mouth:

"jwhe sjfla sjlwpoie slkf.."

yes. that was what it sounded to me. i dont know, i guess i was anxious about the audition(still in denial that i was really auditioning!!). and the hammering of my heart was the only thing i was hearing.

next he asked if he could browse my biological science lecture notes/manual. i was like, sure if that would shut you up? ha ha. so he flipped to a random page and went ooh and aah. he had said something like, "take the book away from me!" and i had laughed absentmindedly, just to be polite. i mean,

I WAS AUDITIONING to be A FOREIGN BODYa part of the Foreign Bodies!!! SHUT UP BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH THE THICK BIOSCIENCE LECTURE NOTES.

he's just the weirdest la. hahahha. but ive nothing against him at all :) so he was a bit cocky and was trying so hard to be sociable when we all could see he was one hell of a nervous wreck. but OH WELL. hope to bump into him:D nyehehe. ..maybe not.

the choreographing was fun. the practising was fun. yea, yea. feel it. feel it. uh huh. bounce. bounce. go crazy!! MICHELLE IS SO HOT la. :D she's just so cool. i think i have a girl crush on her. whee heh.

and then the slides la, the waves la, the swayings la, were starting to take its toll on little fragile me. unlike nurool, who's like energetic 24/7, i was beginning to lose focus. i was slippiiiing~~

it was 8.45pm when the real auditioning started. the seniors showed us how to move and instantly, my energy was refueled. YES THEY ARE THAT BRILLIANT. oozed with groove. :D

JUST MY LUCK to be the fecking first to be called forward.

i didnt know it was me... i heard "mumble mumble ismail" and i was looking round going, wahh another ismail! ...no one got up. ............because duh. IT WAS ME.

is my name THAT hard to pronounce!? fecking hell!? noor-LEh-LA is-MAEL. not mail as in email, okay. sheesh. ANYWAY yea:D

took my spot. THEN THEY CALLED NURULHUDA. WHEEE nurool. :) i was so glad she was with me. then they called another 3 more girls....and one of them had got up to me and whispered, "can see your g-string."

................THANKS. PLEASE COME AGAIN.

music was up. and..started doing our thing.

DONT KNOW LA. it was so fast. yet it seemed like forever. missed a couple of steps but freestyle-ed a bit. we were given 3 tries. meaning we did the same counts thrice.

the first, i managed to get all the steps right WHOOPIE. then wah, confident already. and was really feeling it, you know? then second try, BOCHAP. HAHA. but i learn that we should always improvise. ceh. so yea. ..did my own step HAHA.

its better than just standing there and giving up, looking like a loser. the third, a little demoralised after the second attempt, was a rush. just wanted to finish it get it over and done with la!

it was over before i knew it. damn. haha. that was fun. though pressurizing with all the eyes on you. not use to such attention la! BUT IT WAS FUN. hadnt had a choreographed-dance for years BUT IT WAS FUN. why do i have a feeling ive mentioned that before.

the next groups after us.....haha i think the steps were nonexistant already. heh. im not saying anything bad! but yea.. some were really really great though :) I FIND CLARENCE VERY CUTE. hahahha.

didnt get to see the weirdo(:D) dance. bummer! you know whats another bummer? the results.... wont be announced til a week later.. via the noticeboard.

a week!!?! A WEEK. come onnnnnn.. cut us some slack la.

i hope to make it. wouldnt say that i'd die if i dont, but all that energy and time put into it, it would be heartbreaking if we are not selected. god knows ive enough rejections to last me my youth.

momster was unusually understanding!! :D:D

we had a talk while i was in the shower, and she was by the stove, fixing me some late dinner. of course we talked about the nursing sponsorship.. it was one of those rare..serious conversations.... and it ended up with the momster saying,

"whatever, ela. you do whatever you like. it's your carrier."

".................career."

"..................diam kau.(shut up, you.)"

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 12:15 AM l

everytime when things go wrong, they always blame it on the eldest. why is that ar? why are we always held responsible for everything? half of these are not even our fault.

as if i wanted it to happen that way.

my day would have been great if not that that little stupid misunderstanding and the 'extra attention' from gmum.. sigh. i wish i hadnt gone back home so soon.

'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

girl, put your records on..

oh well. you know what perks me up. ..chips more chocolate chip cookies:D i havent had one so long. it used to be my favourite snack when i was a kid. i would count the number of chocolate chips, like they did in the advertisement.

those were the days huh.

school was exceptionally crazy today :D well. we arrived for bioscience tutorial ..for nothing! because all the stuffs had been taught numerous times during lectures and lab practicals! and the lecturer/doctor(male) is so..lembek. HAHA. so weak! like, teaching us was such a painful and exhausting experience and required so much energy.

it was only 9am.

there was more than one occurence where he simply sat there, perched on his desk, looking at us looking at him expectantly..... it was just so awkward!! it was so quiet that my twirling my pen seemed to be making so much noise. it was that silent.

in the end, we were dismissed 20 minutes early. so. yea. lesson was only half an hour. can you imagine that? he was like, "okay. i guess that's all for today." *dustball rolled by* "you can go now."

no one moved. no one moved even as the lecturer packed his stuff and then left. then behind me, elton went, "wah. he wasnt kidding." .....

it was so bizarre!!!!

so we had 2 hours and 20 minutes to spare. hung out at one of the canteens. it was so many of us, i just couldnt name all. ..okay, i still dont know their names. ..:D

this coursemate of us, who is 23 years old, and has been working as a nurse for 4 years already, started sharing with us her experience... the way she described, it was hilarious la. haha. we got to the topic of ghosts and zafira asked if she has encountered any strange happenings..and she said, "actually its the patients who scare you.

i was on the night shift, and this old lady pressed the bell. so i got to her and she was telling me, "please help. this child is disturbing me. i cannot sleep." there was NO ONE there.

"these people are old, and sick. and they tend to see things."

!!!!

at 11am, i went to meet NUROOL. same campus, same school, but we never get to see each other! well, today we did :):) and it was a refreshing change. i could let my hair down. if you know what i mean. not long, carisa and nikki(?) joined us.

had 2 hours of lecture after that. FUN. ..not really. but yea. not once did i 'lose myself', succumbing to my little fecked up fantasy..lala land..what have you. im sure you know where im coming at.

we watched this video on effective communication skills. one that you should NEVER do, is parroting.... here's the example that was given:

nurse:"hello. how are you feeling?"
client:"not so good, im afraid. my back still aches."
"your back still aches?"
"i didnt have a wink last night."
"you didnt have a wink last night?"
"could you please stop repeating my words?"
"you dont want me repeating your words?"

the lecture hall erupted into hysterical laughter.

kamaria and i were on our way home.. talking and got to the topic of boyfriends. asked if i have one and i replied with a no. ...actually, i went like NO. and she totally misintepretted my sudden outburst of aggressiveness(?) and found it very amusing.

just 20 minutes ago, we were learning about non-verbal messages and how the tone of voice can portray PLENTY of hidden information.

well, they always say we should always put our skills to practise:D

i dont know whats with my tone, now thinking back? HAHA. what was that for. i guess i get insecure if people ask whether i have a boyfriend. what, do they think that if you're attached, you're some kind of superior?

that's crazy, i know. haha. im just saying, that's all. no harm done xP

..i wonder if hannan and ernest have met up during their breaks like promised.... wouldnt that be cooool!? it's like, i turn them into buddies and they're meeting up and everything, and ernest helping hannan to get into the business course and all...

feels so good to help la.

still considering the sponsorship.................................

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on..

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 6:05 PM l

[EDIT]

I COULNT FIND MY PURPLE MANGO RACER BACK third day of poly, so far so good :D so what if i was late?

i think i am getting used to the course management system(self-directed learning). studying at my own comfort zone; a mug of iced latte/mocha/coffee an arm away, the stereo on, and my loyal feline companion on my lap. all of these IN MY ROOM! anytime, i can just get up, and watch some tv or take a snooze.

oh yea. i have a desk already :D momster had put one back into my room so i dont have to study on my bed. i wonder if i were to ask for a notebook(as in laptop), would she buy me one right away?

eh my hits are damn impressive!! 1012 liao!!! :D:D since..i dont know when! july 2005 i think. but still!!! i think i get an average 3 - 5 hits a day. i couldnt ask for more :) ..no wait, i can.

you know, today i realised sometimes i can be very damn smart :D:D ..sometimes. but most of the time, im your gullible, naive, innocent, blurified lela ismail. BUT REALLY. i can be very smart!!

wait, was that smart?

OH YEA. since today was a short day(class ended at 2), i headed for thomson plaza.... to do these followings:

indulged on my long-yearning iced coffee from ya kun kaya toast and at the same time, reflected back on what ive studied just now during..uh what was that i had?????? HAHA. oh yea. fundamentals of nursing. HAHHAHA. sorry, totally blanked for a second there! information overloaded la.

then hunted for a pair of headphones. there are NO headphones. just earpieces. i dont want no earpieces! i want headphones!!

so, clearly disappointed, i went into yamaha music store to cheer myself up. GUITAR WINDOW SHOPPING. HAHA. got my eyes on this ebony acoustic guitar... OH PRETTY.

ANYWAY. ive got someone who wanted to buy my gary :):) ZAFIRA. yess she wants to learn how to play the guitar and i offered to sell her mine so she can practise. im so nice!

well no. seeing that i had wanted to sell her my gary-o for $180. HAHA. she was like, what? and i quickly said 80 instead. ..come on, we've only known each other for 3 days excluding orientation; i do not want her to remember me as a money minded moron for the next 3 years.

but the one ive my eyes on is $380 okay. imagine if she did buy gary from me for 180. getting another 200 is chicken dodol. ive already got 120 in my little humble savinng :) ..

here's a secret: i still dont know my way around campus. all the buildings look alike. you know how i am with directions. hence im always the one tailing behind, looking like i know where i'm going.

hey its only my 3rd day :D give me another 3 ..months. maybe then, yea :)

im attached!! I GOT A LETTER FROM SINGAPORE GENERAL HOSPITAL, offering me a nursing sponsorship. they want me :) HEHEHE. but they say senior nurses in sgh damn garang(fierce) :\

but thats the least of my problems. i'll be dealing with real patients! not mannequins!! someone else's loved ones... such crazy responsibility........ oh im strssed already.

oh well. the allowance monthly is a $850 for year 1 students(ME!). HEY. I CAN BUY THE GUITAR. make that 2, with that whole amount?

it says here: upon successful completion of the course, you will join SGH as a staff nurse and serve the hospital for 3 years.

so many things can happen in 3 years :O
Someone special blogged @ 6:56 PM l

AH!!! AHHHH!!!!! -starjumps- OKAY. here's a quick one before i go to STUDY.

wah. second day only, dah studying. ceh. no la. just that i didnt bring my bioscience manual for lecture. so i scribbled the notes on some pathetic piece of paper i scabbed from this kind soul who sat in front me so now i gotta transfer them back into the manual because knowing me, i'd lose the piece of paper

out of breath

we had a 2-hour break again today after tutorial. headed for the library to do our..homework(argh). but guess who i met on the way there. DICKY! AHH!! DICKY!!!! :D:D HELLO DICKY!! engineeriiing ayyyy~~

anyway yea.

so. there. did our homework at the library. had to define some clinical terms... so off we went searching for relevent books ..IN VAIN. only to get back to our table to find elton and maggie already half way to finishing!!!

"WHERE DID YOU GET THE BOOKS!?" me.

"2nd shelf," maggie said, after i composed myself. (great. i had went all the waaaaaaay to the back.)

..so yea. it was a clinical dictionary(duh). and the clinical dictionary should have a stamp in the front saying: not for faint hearted. because the pictures inside are ....... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ every single infections, diseases, viruses, etc are showed in detail. they are not pretty.

oh! ooh. shit...*grimace. *shudder. *gag. *jaw drops. *eyes bulge. *wince. *covers eyes. FECK. *shuts the dictionary and pushes it as far away as possible.

okay im gonna be a nurse, for crying out loud. i must be use to seeing ..things like that... .....but it doesnt hurt to hope that i wont have to, right?

I PRAY MY FELLOW PEOPLE GOOD HEALTH. ..so you guys live longer, and happier. and we nurses dont have to work that hard. haha. okay but seriously. start taking care of yourself, people!!!!!!!!

elton was a singapore idol contestant!!! HAHAHA! what a shocker :) ..well, not really? but yea. he was booted out on the third round though, the groups round. cant wait for the show to be aired. i wanna go, "ELTON GOH. THAT'S MY FRIEND AR!" :D he's cool la he.

queuing for drinks..and then when i saw ICED MOCHA, i was overwhelmed with elation and hysteria. CAFFEINE. GIMMEEEE.. AHH.

haha giler! but yea. i love caffeine.

biosciene at the lecture hall after that. didnt bring my book ar! ..heh. oh well. the lecture, though 2 hours, was fun. ..fun? endurable. is there a word?

maybe the module is interesting, thats why :) lots of pictures of naked people. .......eh wrongly put. HAHA. but yea. you should know what i mean!!! since we're studying about the human anatomy and everything. so they put up real naked bodies. i heard some kids behind me said, "probably stolen from a porn site."

oh yea my earphones fecked up on me. how dare they..when i needed them the most. hence im gonna get a pair of headphones. HEADphones. haha the bigger the better, like mraz said. just you and the music.

i feel like a hypocrite....

the other day, hannan and i were talking about ernest.. well, how he saw him at the food court in sp, that is. hannan was like, "i saw eugene. the guy you used to like ;)" then i was like...i dont remember liking some eugene..... haha but of course, he meant ernest la, after some mild description :D hence the conversation on CURLS. winkwink.

then today..ernest and i, talk about hannan....... well, he asked if there's anyone i know in sp so i told him hannan la, and how he saw him the other day........ and how he mistook him for eugene instead..

....then weirdly enough, ernest kept mentioning him!!! so i asked him, whats up with that!?!?!! "i dunno!!!!" he said. yeaaaa......

e r n - lovely says:
o m g then he is going to attract all the gals XD

- e r n - lovely says:
wrong face

- e r n - lovely says:
i mean T.T

for you i fecking will says:
HAHAHAHA NOW THAT WAS GAY

for you i fecking will says:
why is he going to attract all the gals?

- e r n - lovely says:
coz...he is handsome?

for you i fecking will says:
is he

- e r n - lovely says:
isnt he?

for you i fecking will says:
hahhaha okay la

- e r n - lovely says:
haha

- e r n - lovely says:
damn, i thought he is =/

for you i fecking will says:
okay fine he is.

- e r n - lovely says:
haha

for you i fecking will says:
but it feels funny for me to admit

- e r n - lovely says:
Y !

for you i fecking will says:
dontk now..isnt that weird?

- e r n - lovely says:
dont noe

for you i fecking will says:
it is weird.

for you i fecking will says:
he has long hair now.

for you i fecking will says:
..long hair are meant for girls.

- e r n - lovely says:
ooo that i got to see

- e r n - lovely says:
hey hey

- e r n - lovely says:
no


- e r n - lovely says:
i have long hair too

for you i fecking will says:
hahahha. eh say hi to him if you see him.

- e r n - lovely says:
ask him say hi to me la

- e r n - lovely says:
since im more obvious XD


..!!

okay i hope they dont see each other now. i dont want them talking about me!!!! okay dont flatter myself, i know. :D but what goes around comes around, yes??? KARMA!

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 8:39 PM l

AHHH!!!!! AHHH!!!! -runs into the wall and back- it seemed like ive done it a million of times; going for lectures after lectures and tutorials and tutorials. laughing and joking with zafira, maria, maggie or whoever's the unfortunate one that's walking next to me as we make our way to the next class.

out of breath

maggie totally made my day. she was unusually perky and friendly to every single one, considering she wasnt present with us during the orientation throughout the whole afternoon. hollered at me from the other corner of the table: "HELLO!"(bet she forgot my name) "GOT MISS ME? i miss you leh!" (bet you did!! hehe.)

i wanted to say, "i dont know you? except that you live in punggol." but instead i just grinned. i had a very uncomfortable thong on. it was digging into my flesh. ow ow ow.

i didnt tell you this but cousin elly bought me some stuffs. a pair of jeans from mango, a blue cardigan, ..a make-up pallete(!!!!) and a thong. i appreciate the gifts really. i'd appreciate it more if i could actually, you know, fit in those clothes??

they are all a size or two smaller!! she has underestimated me... dude, killer thong it was. then why did i wear it? because it looked so cute. I dont know why i wore it!!! Okay!?!?

..its so annoying when i sidetrack! okay okay. focus. sh. poly. first day. lectures. psychology. ivan loh :):) okay now im not making sense.

behavioral science - psychology!! with ivan loh :) ivan loh is da bomb. he's hilarious. i love his lessons already. i think i might enjoy psychology. hehe can apply it to anything, if you know what i mean? woohoo psyched for psychology. i can even type psychology without hesitating

then it was nursing science with..this lady lecturer. she got us to observe the student beside us because apparently its important that we observe our client(they dont say patient). then she started calling out names.

there was like over a hundred students in the lecture hall so what were the chances of her calling upon me. or so i kept telling myself :D haha. beside me, kamaria was like, "kau..please don't call my name." and then

"kama..ria?"

"ya allah."

zafira and i were like HAHAHA. i mean, it was so abrupt, her reaction! like out of the blue! i was instantly reminded of sriee, when miss korh called out for her to write out a chemistry equation. only sriee swore and went, "sial la bastard." kamaria was more discreet hahahaa!

so she had to describe me........... i had to STAND UP so the lecturer could see me it was so unnecessary....

next the lecturer called this guy named ridzwan? and he went to describe the guy next to him: "he is wearing specs. ..he...is wearing red shirt. ..he is wearing...jeans."

"why not say he has hair?" mused the lecturer goodnaturedly.

next she called nicole!(damn, nicole damn bold! her clothing, fuyohh.) she was fluent, our funkay nicole. but she needed one more observation. "she is wearing a watch?"

"what kind of watch?"

"..a wrist watch?"

after that was our 2 hour break. we bought our books........as a whole class(except those china people and nicole and sarah). we are so united, it's scary. HAHA. so you can imagine the 17 of us, walking in a biiig group, blocking other students' way. HAHA. we are so..

..new to this.. :O

oh yea. the BOOKS. meant to KILL US. im not talking about the contents(maybe not now, its too soon).

biological science is fecking CRAZY okay. the lecturer is indian..no disrespect but you know how indians have this certain..twang.... and i thought having mrs jeya for bio back in secondary school could have prepared me for this. HAHA. well no.

here are some of the alien terms our doctor/lecturer had said which had left our jaws hanging open in bewilderment:

neorology. splanchnology. osteology. syndesmology. myology. angiology. pathophysiology. ventral and dorsal. medial and lateral.
proximal and distal. what. the. feck.

and that's only the beginning. the basics.

but don't fret :) i KNEW EVERY SINGLE TERM LIAO. at the topic of bones right now :D interesting. not. on a verge of tears halfway because of boredom and because i gave up in trying to understand what the indian lecturer was trying to say.

we had trouble understanding the word 'tail', can you imagine? a simple word 'tail' caused such a hoo-ha among us. let along terms like median sacral crest, and obturator foramen.

was zoning out when the lecturer was talking about matacarpal(some bone in our hands). then went the zzt zzt, zzt zzt. MY PHONE! whoopie!!!!!!! who's the KIND SOUL who smsed? i'd KISS HER.

but of course it was hannan. was having his break. dreamy sigh. then only seconds later, it was myRYANdearest. woohoo. what a perfect time to flood my inbox. she was having her break too. HAHA. but some break it was, ay, ryan? hahaha. she's funny la.

tried out the microscope.. cool beans. someone buy me one for my seventeenth birthday please!!!!!!

clinicial lab after that. GOSH. the lecturer is such a NYONYA. we had to sit on the floor. okay, reasonable, since the lab is really a ward you see in hospitals. then she got us to read the textbook........ every single page of the introduction.

other lecturers INTRODUCED the lessons to us. you know, like talked? communication? i was like telling zafira, "next she's gonna call out one by one to read out loud."

and she did. hahaha.. sigh.

and elton's the perfect gentleman!!! ahh!! :):)

oh and she did attendance.. when it came to my name, i braced myself for the......... "nerh..lee..la?"

"LEla." i was quick.

"but it's l-e."

what the??? arguing with me regarding.. MY NAME??? "malay pronounce it as leh," i said, trying to look innocent.

okay. summary: love psychology. nursing science too. bioscience, till try to endure!!! argh!!!! ..clinical lab? boo. cant believe she gave us homework. homework??? it sounds foreign to me, really. HOMEWORK???

GLAD to be on my way home :)

bumped into my uncle at the void deck. "what image you implying?" he was saying. "you have graffiti of skulls on your bag. youre suppose to be a nurse! you scare away your patients!!!"

ha ha hah ahah ahaha aahaha ~

"and the hair!!!"

........ my bag, cool. but stay away from my hair. .hahha cheh!! but yea. ...........hhahahha! okay okay kidding. i guess he hasnt seen so much hair before, since he's, you know, bald.

eh i like my hair okay. curls WOOHOO. here's something funny: "curls nicer," i said.

"DUH," hannan said :) "curls are so so so nice. well. not on me. but i wish i had curls."

"MUHD has curls. sigh!"

"yea he's hot!"

.........................

"im gonna get a curly haired girl and we gonna have curly haired babies."

.........................................

oh and tomorrow school is at one WOOHOO. ends at six but it starts at one so its WOOHOO. ..okay bye.

Labels: school

Someone special blogged @ 7:55 PM l

"im not looking forward to school tomorrow. are you?"
"psychology, first lesson. whats not to look forward to? but now, i dont think so.. i feel guilty if i have too much fun when my friends are not. so please enjoy yourself so i can too!"
"haha you are so kind and considerate. i sleep on it. i'll tell you in the morning if ive decided."
"how great my day is tomorrow, lies in your hands, hannan."

that saturday(yesterday?) was one of the best day ive ever had. made me go YEA I WANT MORE OF THESE SATURDAYS. but it made me realise something else too; that ive taken for granted all the saturdays that has passed for the last 5 months.

ive learnt my lesson now. give me a chance to redeem myself. ..give me another 5 months of ignorance bliss :D pretty please?

so yea i told you i had a breakfast date with my favourite person slash cousin slash mentor, in the whole world(my only?haha): elly sulastri :) besides stuffing our face and my ending up having her hashbrown, we did alot of talking. catching up. filling each other in with happenings. and so much more.

maybe thats why it was so memorable. because of the talking. i havent had a decent, intellectual conversation with anyone since too long.... what do you expect? i live with THE MOMSTER. haha. okay seriously!!!

ponders.

eleanor roosevelt once said: “great minds discuss ideas. average minds discuss events. small minds discuss people." (i want to be a great mind but here i am discussing about roosevelt? haha. ohkay.)
this is subjective but i say, a great conversation is something both sides can learn from. and ive learnt something valuable from yesterday.

though we are very alike, elly and me, in a sense that we love writing, appreciate the arts, and the quirky stuffs(flea marts!!!!), i found out we are..prettie different, perspective wise.

im driven by my goals. and i believe i can reach the staa-oh cut the crap :) i confess of daydreaming that one day, i see myself barricaded behind a table, surrounded by piles of bestsellers..MY bestsellers :D..and before me a huuuge crowd of..my loyal readers and fans :D eager to have my signature.

i believe i can make that happen and i will, i guess? VERY fecking ambitious, i am! ive got it all planned in my little fantasy world. now im just waiting to make it into reality.

elly however, has a totally different view.

"have you ever wanted to be a photo editor?" i asked her casually. (she is working for rueters!! AH!)

her answer was an immediate: "no" followed by a wide smile as though to say she wasnt kidding. "i never wanted this job. never thought i would even have this job. most of my colleages are mass comm graduates. and i? i was from university with a master degree of political science. political science!"

personally i believe, nothing is worth doing unless youre willing to give it a 110%. if you dont like what youre doing, get out. passion, not practical!!!

"so what are you doing!!!!?" i demanded.

"okay la, my job. even though its not what i wanted. but life has that way of throwing lemons at you. hence we?"

"make lemonade," the both of us said, nodding.

"exactly. you must not look at life as a linear progress. i mean, i never thought i'd go into jc. never wanted. hated jc. never thought i could get into a uni, seeing that i played truancy alot of times. and ive always thought id take up literature, but no! instead-"

"political science!" we said in unison. "shocker," i added.

"then i got an offer by MOE to teach! what the??" she gave me an incredulous face and i couldnt help but laugh because really, the idea of her teaching is far fetch.. she is sarcastic, easily annoyed, hates noisy kids and has totally zero interest at this department.

"and then that intership with the magazine." shaking her head in disapproval, she said, "i hated that. so superficial. fashion and make-up? i dont care about fashion or make-up!

"like you. did you ever wanted to be in peirce sec?"

"never!" i recalled peirce was my fifth(out of six) choice. i wanted crescent girls' school, elly's former secondary(she had once brought me into the school premises to check the place out agaisnt the rules..they've got a beautiful man made waterfall!).

"did you ever thought you'd get into nursing?"

"honestly, no."

"see what i mean now? just go with the flow. thats what i do."

interesting point of view. in other words, she doesnt expect much. much? she doesnt expect at all! and i respect her and salute her for that. taking everything in her stride :) how gutsy~

but i? i dont wanna go with the flow. not unless its mine :P
Someone special blogged @ 10:06 PM l

grey clouds..looks threatening yet comforting. may you find solace in His creation.

look outside and you'll see how fast everything is moving. if only we learn how to slow down.

and the prince drove away with his princess and they lived happily ever after.

-runs out of caption-

okay maybe i'll just shut up and let the pictures talk :D

if you must know, all these were taken while i was in the bus....

..on the way to chinatown!!!

this is my favourite. put your feet together and it kinda looks like it :D

lately ive been thinking so strangely about the clouds...

the infamous hotel 81!!!

i like the old buildings in chinatown. brings back the nostalgia.

the last time i went chinatown was when i was 14!! it was a field trip. with the rest of the malay kids in class :) I STILL HAVE THE PICS. but that would be in another entry for another day.

old buildings in the foreground. skyscrappers(kinda?) in the back.

haha the oldies.

the sky was back to blue if you havent noticed :) I LOVE CLOUDS la. eh is that 7eleven!?

last picture:

my favourite! heh like dominos. oh..is it just me or are these buildings slanted.. ..nah its me.
Someone special blogged @ 9:54 PM l

messy shmessy i think im going crazy. all sorts of papers and notebooks and highlighters and pens filling up every possible area of my..bedsy.

this is what happens when you pester your sarcastic mother that you wanted more space in your room. hence her taking away your DESK, making you deskLESS, which eventually led to you making such a mess on your bed because naturally, you tend to treat it as your desk! 2 in 1. ..make that 3. sometimes i eat on my bed too.

oh but its all clean and tidy now :) not because the same sarcastic mother, who had thrown my desk away, had asked me to. but because mac my cat has no space to sleep on with all my stuffs around. so yes, i cleaned my bed for my cat and his feline nap purposes.

i was re-organising my timetable :D whee! its so colourful; blue for tutorials, green for lectures and pink for lab practicals. which explains the little streaks of blue, green and pink on my bedsheets la. nonetheless, im so proud of me!!! i actually completed 4 weeks :D ..many more to go but i'll worry about it then.

let my training to be a nurse unfolds.........

oh yea. about the letter to sp, right?(PLEASE REFER TO YESTERDAY'S ENTRY IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY. then only you continue.)

well, i didnt get in. it was unsuccessful. hm i dont know how to react. relief, maybe. mostly relief, as the time goes by. and maybe a tad disappointed. heh i cant believe there was a hint of ..disbelief??

i mean, all that fuss..for nothing??? then summoning some dignity, i held my head up high and tossed the rejection letter out of my sight: i dont need no diploma of media and communications to help me reach my dreams of becoming a well known and envied newspaper columnist.

...of course i do. but what the heck :)

i talked to my mother about this. i knew she wanted me into media. but it seemed she has changed her mind. gosh she is so fickle :) but im glad she's behind me supporting and applauding my every decision. ..in the most annoying sort of way? :D

my gdad is especially supportive!!! i am pleasantly surprised :) not that he's always been unsupportive... just that most of the time, all he cares about is the news on television and whether Dia would get back with Ivan(the indonesian programme on suria).

anyway, he overheard our conversation and..... he even volunteered to ..BUY ME A NOTEBOOK. as in, a laptop notebook. HAHA. i flipped, im telling you :)

"we could use a nurse in the family," gdad beamed.
"we have a nurse what," mused gmum. "ithnin?"
"............he's almost 50, right, our uncle nin?" (me.)

i did asked the momster(while she was still in somber mode), "if i pass(insyaallah) and get a diploma in nursing, it doesnt mean i must be a nurse, right?" .......okay now recalling, the question was a stupid one.

but what about my other passion? writing, and photography? never once in my childhood, have i ever thought about being a nurse. and now here i am, haha, training to be one in this 3-year poly course. duh i gotta be a nurse or all these would be for nothing.

not that i have anything against nursing. HELL NO:D im only saying that im immensely passionate about something else other than this too..... if not more..

but i guess, writing, i can do it anytime. anyone can write. but nursing, it's a skill which can only be acquired if youve gone through training. and this is an opportunity!! whoopie!

but still, surely i can branch out? one of our modules will be about behavorial science(sociology and psychology). i am looking forward to the introductory lessons :) maybe i may end up a social worker:D ive always wanted to be one. its like nursing; we are around people helping them but only without the uniform..and less blood haha.

sigh.

i should sleep. but chatting with ERNEST now :D and he's just the cutest, the lamest, the funniest, the..lamest.. ::smitten!:: not. frankly okay, he made me choose sp :) I WAS JEALOUS when hannan told me he saw him in campus. I WANT TO SEE HIM. and his rebonded hair. ..wont ever forgive him for straightening his curls in the first place though.

ive got breakfast date with cousin elly later. so sweet of her; she actually took sometime out of her busy busy schedule to makan at pak john(long john silver)'s with me!!!

i still feel a wee bit insulted la, at being rejected by sp. what, am i not good enough!!! well, it seems!!!!!!

hey but its cool :) ive got THIS outlet to publisize how i feel. and there's no EDITOR to make sure i only write what im suppose to. HAH. being a bloggist(?) beats being a columnist anytime.

..oh but i dont get paid though.

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 2:48 AM l

i love you..ive loved you all along. and i miss you. been far away for far too long. i'll keep dreaming that you're with me and will never go. stop breathing if i dont see you anymore.

i think im getting nickelback nyer album la. hehe. the fact that nyp(nanyang poly) played this song so many times during the orientation made me feel relax throughout. i think i owe it to nickelback. least i could do is buy their album :D

eh what. oh yea. the orientation hor!!! it wasnt fun fun la, now thinking back. the games were lame. we did alot of running..well they did. sarah, nicole and i just walked, tailing behind most of the time? then sharon the student mentor would try to chase us with the placard.

there was..four-legged race. i mean what was the purpose of such a rough game? i think i could have torn my feet off their sockets. i was too scared to move most of the time. afraid i might leave my feet behind......... then the rest after me would trip over my defenceless feet and fell and they would blame me for losing in the race haha.

then there was charade. stupid. no challenge at all. HAHA. peacock???? camel?? STOVE???? evelyn thought it was stoRe and tried to mime a STORE. then nicole went, "STOVE!" because she cheated when she caught a glimpse of the card the ringmaster was holding.

uhhhh then there was human bingo. which was stupid also. HAHA. so much more la! tsk. fun games are like those games we had during eldds back in peirce. those were fun, spontaneous games where you gotta have wit, or you lose. my kind of game.

but what the heck. i dont think the games meant to be fun. it meant to take us around the fecking huge campus(even the student mentors got lost) and at the same time get to know our coursemates..... the hard, painful, sweaty way... :)

so yes i did have fun though it wasnt fun. i love NR0622!! the students are easy-going, almost all of them. but this ..malay girl rubbed me the wrong way la. brr. how dare she said that about me when she doesnt even know me. gasp! :O

there are only 2 boys in our class of 22(or 24?..20?) students. elton and khairul. elton's our class rep and he's a good one la :) khairul is great too, in his cute, fat little way. hehe. he thought of all the moves for our cheer. shake it, shake it, shake it to the top! *shakes* he actually shook and..so cute la he.

..NO WAY AM I LETTING MY POLY MATES KNOW ABOUT MY BLOG. HAHA. NO WAY.

we have so many foreign students in the class. one whole table of china people!!! ..and one from johor baru named ai kim(sp?) those china people have complicated names! i only remember sunny, and thats not even her real name. haha.

we have one from myanmar. she's the sweetest little thing :) her name is salween and she's 16. she is sooooo sweet. heh cant wait to share this with hannan. she is just sooo sweeeeeeet!!!

then there's kamaria, who's 18 but she's so much smaller than me. :):):) hahahha. look at my face when she told me she was a private student, hence a year older. i just went from :) to :O to :D then back to :) because i dont want her to get the right impression............ :)

then there's maggie! HAHA. i sat next to her when i first arrived(I WAS THE LAST TO ARRIVE FOR MY CLASS). she is big... okay i am small. but she made me feel smaller than small. it was uncomfortable.

she has henna on her hands and she was chewing bubble gum. she had that face: "DONT talk to me." HAHA. so i didnt. though i wanted to. because left and right and front, kids were exchanging hello's and how you do's.

but turned out she's not bad :) at the auditorium, she would roll her eyes in mock frustration at the talks after talks. then she smiled and i knew she was alright :) she has a pretty smile in fact! ..too bad she left in between the 'treasure hunt'(sheesh. some treasure hunt. i dont remember hunting for anything. just running. haha.)

oh yea we had to change into some shirt we were given. i got an M. so did maggie. kamaria got an XL. HAHA. hilarious. then in the toilet, there was this other girl from myanmar. one look, we knew she got the XL shirt.....HAHA. im not laughing at her, mind you :)

she's so petite la. her name is KT. .....im sure thats not the spelling. haha. but it sounds like a K and a T. she asked if i were local and i said, "you meant to say i have a foreign face?? :D" but she didnt get my joke.....no one did......... it was sad.

oh yea. our mentor! mr andy ong :):) he's pleasant-looking :) quite young and i like him straigthtaway he opened his mouth. he insisted we all call him ANDY. how cool is that. you try calling mr. dennis goh by his first name, he will FLIP. that never stopped us to go on calling him dennis/dennie/jackass goh though.

what else....hmmm......

OH YEA. the performances. THE DANCE. they call themselves Foreign Bodies. THEY ROCK. seriously. they are sooooo amazing. i want to be a foreign bodyyyy!!!!!! but im not that talented?? i havent been dancing since 12. and i blame it on peirce for not having modern/hiphop dance as a cca when i was secondary 1.

the skit by the year 2 nurses were great too :):) i love those so called 'godmothers/fairies' on kick scooters. haha. funnnney!! "lets go, G-O go!" HAHA. but yea. important message behind the skit :)

videos on the trip the students made to sri lanka made me cry tears of poignancy :):) and at the same time, i was deeply touched. and proud. so many strong mixed feelings. very overwhelming. i want to do the same:) I DO!!!! AH i want to touch liives!!!!!! let me touch your life!!!!!!

the hysterical side that i am, i dont think people want me anywhere near them? HAHA?

another performance by this guy playing classical jazz on his guitar. ..okay laaaa. ive seen better guitarist :D:D ..then the girl with the 'enchanting voice'. okay also laaa. i wasnt really enchanted :D:D

HAHA. OBVIOUSLY I ENVY THEM. because they were great. i marvel at how the girl managed to control the audience :) ..urmph! hahhaha xD and these 2 talented people are NURSES-to-be. see, there's so much more in people taking up nursing :)

RAINING!!! feck. i meant to go out today to get stuff for school. damn.

after the whole thing ended(THANK GOD..haha), my class had to go the macs.... andy said he had a surprise for us. "its nothing big so dont expect too much," he cautioned, looking horrified, when the whole class practically lit up upon hearing the news. HAHA.

turned out we had to do surveys on the burgers at macs. haha kidding la. haha. but yea we had to do surveys. this china kid next to me, needed help with it so i helped. then at the end of it, we had to put a tick next to our age group. she ticked 20-29.........

i laughed. ....................then i felt bad because of the way she looked at me after that. i was abashed. then i pointed out nervously, "dont you mean, 13-19?"

"no im 20."

......................................

zafirah, of all the kids in class, was the only person so far, whom i find i could hang out with. we clicked la. she reminded me of ginny. humourous, cheery and ..lame. yea she's lame. haha!

we were outside the toilet, drinking this sweet tasty drink these business students were going round selling(zafirah treated me!! whee!). then came this girl....who went right into the gents.......

zafirah and and i = :O next second, the same girl walked out, BRIGHT RED. got even redder when she saw us looking :O though she was laughing a little. heh. when she disappeared behind us into the ladies, we burst out laughing.

after the whole thing ended, nurool and i went to the nearest block to sort out our stupid, complex timetable. nurool took off her jacket, because duh it was hot. so she was just wearing a spaghetti strip. then sometime later, this chi ko pek came and sat across us at the table...................

ugh so disgusted. so we left la. and went to the library!!! the library is nicer at night :) less crowded. so peaceful. ....but peaceful ceased to exist when you have nurool and i in the scene :D hehhe.

so we sorted out the timetable. and i found i hated it even more, now that i know what time im to arrive, the number of long hours of breaks, and the long-anticipated dismissal. TGIF(thank god its friday) no more held any significant meaning in my life!! because my fridays are packed with lectures and tutorials and lab practicals!!!!

...whoopie!!!!! :D I CANT WAIT TO START.

accompanied nurool back to yio chu kang mrt :) where we then went off to our separate ways. was waiting for the bus..it was 9.30pm. late, huh? to me, it is. ..momster was working, thats why :D my phone rang then. it was momster...again. and in my head, i was trying to think of an excuse.......just in case.

"hello?" i finally answered the phone.

"still in school ar?" (didnt sound mad)

"waiting for the bus to go home." (relieved!)

"i meant to tell you something just now. you got a letter from sp regarding the media and comm.."

feck.

"oh and one more thing. there's a scary ghost story tomorrow night." (dont know why she was telling me this. there's always horror movies on friday nights on channel u/8) "seram siak."

i smiled despite how i was feeling. siak??? my mother using disgusting malay slang.

"make sure you dont take the wrong bus! i hope you're wearing your specs."

yes i was. "bye mommie." hung up. then went into thinking mode. ....a letter from sp!>!?!?!!?!?!?!?! ! !!?!? !?!?!? !!

..to be continued..............
Someone special blogged @ 2:02 PM l

i didnt want to blog because i am so tired. so so tired. so so so tired. ive never been tired since.. who am i kidding? IVE NEVER BEEN THIS TIRED. haha. ..anyway yes. i had no intension of blogging..then ryan said: "im suffering from withdrawal symptoms without your blog."

hence, this entry.

heh. flattery doesnt get you anywhere??? try on me!! try on me!!! haha. but im so tired. so sleepy. but orientation had been really fun la. ill try to summarise la yer? hmmmmm....

i love my class.

okay done:)

i think i shall blog about orientation TOMORROW LA okay??? the writer needs the rest if she wants to produce an entry that is of her expectations aaaand i have such high expectations. okay no i dont. i think i do best when i dont give a damn about doing my best.

..it makes sense okay. with my state of mind right now, it makes sense. ..my cats peeing on my bedsheet would probably make perfect sense to me too in such a vulnerable state that i am now. IM SO TIRED.

notice the lack of vocabulary? I AM SO TIRED LA.

something i said is resounding in my brain. oh yea. expectations... i dont expect much out of myself. neither do i of my readers. ...okay i just want them to read the WHOLE entry. no skipping paragraphs. is that too much to ask forrrrrr.... ..and leave a message. yea. thanks.

i should sleep. ..wow ive never slept before midnight since.. IVE NEVER SLEPT BEFORE MIDNIGHT. haha. anyways yes.. good night, foreign world..
Someone special blogged @ 11:21 PM l

WHEE noratiah larry is having her PROM as we speak :D so fun. PROM. aussie style. hehehehehe. okay. seriously. i hope she'll have fun at her ball. because i didnt have fun at mine 4 months ago. it was a wombat. noratiah!! must fill me in when you get back ohkay!!!? and pictures! pictures!!!! :D

today has been tiring. sigh!! the things one do for a friend, huh!!:D momster was like, "you ar. when friend wants company, not a second of hesitation. if i ask you to accompany me, you give excuses!" HAHA. LIES. id go anywhere with her:D and she knows it.

i woke up so early to meet ryan at toa payoh. then we had breakfast at macs. the whole place was crawling with sp students. it was easy to spot because..uh they were wearing similar shirts?? yea.

we went millions of places, ryan and i. meant to go jurong imm but ended up going city link..where we saw hannan!!! ahhh!! it was great to see him la:) havent seen him since...too long. excluding that night via webcam.

wanna know something creepy? i knew he would be there even before i actually saw him. like some time ago during the o's, i knew he would be there at the library and he was. ive telepathy, man!! ..and the size of singapore plays a part too hahaha. QUIRKY :P

we got chased away by security guards. so annoying. SHEESH. we were collecting flags, hello? voluntary service(not really) OHKAY. ryan did a fantastic job of keeping her cool though. admire her for that, really.

we took a spot at this escalator to suntec city/convention centre, where lots of executives/bankers/managers/people with fancy suits carrying expensive branded bags often brisked past. NONE approached ryan to donate. do you see the irony? i was so disgusted.. ryan was clearly agitated and went all philosophical. til the extent of singing alicia keys, karma.. :)

then one teenage guy, just your average guy, with old faded jeans, voluntarily went up and dropped a coin.

dreamy sigh!!!! :):):):) i was smitten. for 6 seconds. but i shall remember this stranger's noble act :) didnt get to see his face but he can have a face of a butt-ugly martian, he will still be good looking :) god bless him la, whoever and wherever he is :)!! good karma coming your way! if it hasnt already.

come to think about it, while we were at toa payoh, this middle aged lady donated too. she wasnt carrying no branded stuff. she was your simple singaporean auntie. makes me even more bitter towards those young career people, so-called successful, whom we met there at suntec.

PFFT. you can have all the money in the world, but will you be reeeeally happy???? HUH! im not over reacting im just saying!!!!

i swear in the near future, i will never ever end up to be such an ignorant and arrogant snob. i'll bring loose change wherever i go :D

ryan ended up putting some of her cash into the box. ..then we went shopping. HAHA. she is so unpredictable la. tsk tsk! "we were suppose to do charity work?" "well, we are.. shopping voluntarily. economy wise." heehehe. yes sirrrr!!

then we took the mrt to dover..to sp!! oh gawwdddd.. so many students la. i dont know why it bothered me so much..... hm. then i waited for ryan at the stop while she went to return her box of donation.

momster called. "did you take my ten dollars!!!?" she hollered with no preamble.

i was taken aback. "of course i didnt!!!! how dare you accuse me!" faked distress.

"takder.. i was saying only. whether you take my ten dollars."(monotonous tone..reminded me of sriee.)

"thats called accusing la tu."(equally monotonous)

then the conversation went on and i was literally laughing my butt of at the bus stop alone. my mother can be such an arse la. finding excuses to call me up. some kids were staring like nobody's business. but i tell myself, what are the chances of bumping into them again? ..exactly.

ryan still wasnt back after like..half an hour??? she kept smsing and everything..making sure i was still alive HAHA. of course i was still alive. i found a pen and paper in my bag and i amused myself. vandalised my hand pretty badly. then i remembered i had a song to write :)

i managed 3 verses and im proud of myself. ..well its not really a song because the composing part is a total bitch la. but im proud of myself nonetheless! thanks so much, iskandar for the inspiration. :D

he knows i have the thing in me.

then i remembered i was suppose to meet nurool. not that i forgot. just that, time passed by so fast. it was 3.10pm. i had to leave ryan and independantly took a bus to town from dover. HAHA. i had to call up the momster to ask her which bus to take. gawd, getting the answer from her was exhausting!!! she's in a cheeky mood today......

met up with nurool(for more details, go her blog..whoo hoo free publicity for you, bee!). YIPPEE. i didnt get lost. though nurool said i did. i didnt okay!!! HAHA. visited nana :D:D ABOUT TIME.

window shopping..+chocolates...+camwhoring(though im not much of a camwhore. im a shutterbug, i taaake pictures. im not supposed to be in it!!)+nurulhuda zulkifli.. what more can lela ask for???? :):)

it was just so tiring after that. bus-ed home..but decided to drop 3 stops before mine and walked the rest home. just me and mraz.

i got to know my very complex timetable.. thanks carisa, for sharing the info. and NO i dont think im liking it. haha. and tomorrow is orientation and i dont know if im ready to go back to education after 5 months of blissed ignorance.

i want another month, please?

okay fine. 2 weeks???????? ....2 daaaaayys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Someone special blogged @ 7:15 PM l

you know the word unplugged after every entry?? yea, you click on it. yes you can!! unbelievable isnt it!!!! there you can leave me something. a simple hi how you do, maybe a poem or a haiku. you know it will mean alot to me!! :)

its just that, hits are impressive but no one drops a message or two. very misleading, it is. but like that's ever gonna stop me :D

ive got 30 bucks in my wallet. how long as it been there? beats me. i havent touch my wallet for almost a week now? meaning i havent gone out la.

i did yesterday though. to return the overdued:) library books. then walked around ang mo kio central aimlessly. pfft. i could walk with blindfolds because i practically grew up in that place. then i took buses to nowhere. i had the best seat; the window seat, last few rows. fun? hardly. more like therapeutic. i had some quality 'me' time :):)

then came the company :) in the form of text messaging. so grateful for that!! and uh no i didnt send messages to myself, if thats what youre thinking? haha. i am quirky but im not insane in the membrane.

hey back to the $30. i dont know what i should splurge on with 3 crispy 10-dollar notes. .....not much im afraid HAHA. but its something. i could get a cd album. but whose/which/what???!

ive got my eyes on Mocca. ..or ears, really. this nice friend of mine(shall not be named:D) sent me one of the songs and its called 'secret admirer'. when i first listened to it, i laughed. because i had the impression that mocca was..a man band? considering he-who-shall-not-be-named listens to it? and he-who-shall-not-be-named is man?(inside joke). haha.

then i checked out the lyrics and i laughed even more. it goes something like this(in a high, cute, chirpy, girlie voice):

My Silly admirer
How come you never send me bouquet of flowers?
It's whole lot better than disturbing my slumber
If you keep knocking at my door

Last night in my sleep
I dreamt of you riding on my counting sheep
Oh how you're always bouncing
Oh you look so annoying. (Please!)

hilarious. ..but i like it:D i like it alot. its very jazzy. nurool says its ska. and all along i thought ska was.... well, i can be such a deluded beach(haha. got this from atiah.) who lives under a stone with patrick.

at least i know the malay word permaisuri means queen ;)

orientation is 2 days away!!!!! sigh here we go again: hii my name is lela and thats uh, l-e-l-a. hm. remind me to say my name slowlyyy in perfect articulation. im not being patronizing but people just tend to pronounce my name all wrong.

leela. lerla. nerlehla. feck off. :)

i want to go back to peirce where everything is familiar! -meisy. wouldnt have said it better myself.. sob sob.

i received a message from someone. i meant those kind of sweet messages with rhyming words that people always tend to forward it to others. yea? yea. i got one from this very-unlikely someone and..ITS JUST VERY MISLEADING.

but i shouldnt flatter myself la, right? ha ha.

lady misled,
lela.
Someone special blogged @ 7:35 PM l

wanna know the most syiok feeling in the world? :D being inspired and having inspired. makes one feel so grand, the latter especially. who says you gotta brilliant like a roosevelt to do so? :P you can be brilliant in your own ways. sometimes you may not even realise it.

dont worry, its between us :)

and i cant help it but holler: hannan makes great songs :D:D how can i ever match??? to think they want ME to be the band's songwriter.

im working on a story by the way:D a novella, hopefully, if i manage to finish it. ending and all. you know i have the stupid habit of abandoning my work halfway simply because im stuck. and then dont bother to get back to it and leave the papers for the silverfishes to do its thing.

maybe because i didnt have that many faith in previous works. or its never good enough for me. simply pen it down because they seemed such a fantastic idea at first. i was ecstatic, very much like a little child receiving a new pack of wax crayons, awaiting to colour his life. but after a while, i just sat there blankly, crestfallen. nothing substantial spun out except short incoherant sentences, not even near satisfactory.

or maybe its my lack of focus and discipline la. im just your average teenager :D but this one? this one is something. ive got the first chapter sorted out and i called it: "i want to murder craig..."

horror? hardly :D

A BUG IN THE WINDOW. intruder. now how did it get there. its not like me to go around squashing bugs. oh but look at it mocking me! it knows!!!

squashed. at least i hope.

i watched a horror movie on tv. called wishing stairs. i remember ernest told me about it once. said it was scary. and it fecking was....... the last half an hour of the show! we all slept in momster's room that night. the four of us. haha! scardy cats, we whole bunch!!!!

this movie taught me something though.. that we should be careful of what we wish for. it just might come true. but in ways youd never expect. and yes, jealousy(in a friendship espcially) kills. haunts. whams. next thing your 'best friend' comes back as a freaky ballerina ghost and youre at the foot of the stairs in a pool of blood. eh where am i getting at?

but i guess you cant control strong emotions like jealousy. youre wrong. because you can. you just gotta remember, though there's always someone better than you, you are still special in some other department, in your own way. you just gotta focus on that and work on it.

then, shine ON.
Someone special blogged @ 11:20 PM l

i went JB!! with gmum, lina, cousin lili and her parents. i thought it'd be a blast, you know? shopping, food and laughs and everything. but know what? the mood wasnt there.. because once one of us starts throwing tantrums, it affects the rest of us. clearly.

i detest this sort of people.. yea okay you're mad at the world, but don't bring us down with you! so my aunt looked like she would love to punch someone to vent her frustration on god-knows-what. but as soon as we got to angsana, ..kerching!! :D

retailers unite!!! this is what i call, a shopper's paradise.

grandmothers are the best person to bring out shopping with. she's got all the money and she's not selfish with it. HAHA. okay im not saying that i was using her. hell no. and im not encouraging you to call up yours and drag her down to orchard road. that's wrong.

nah i suppose thats what grandmothers do. they spoil you rotten. they let you do stuffs that mothers routinely frown on, however innocuous. they give you wiiiings to fly!!!! while mothers are constantly trying to ground you.

thank god it wasnt scorching outside. in fact it was drizzling :D so in the car is was pretty cool. hence i dozed off, only to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to do more shopping. ..only that we were really all heading home.

there was a jam! it was fun. ..for drivers it was hell but for passangers like ME who get kicks from observing other passangers from the window(its the sort where people outside can't see inside but we inside can bloody see them!), it's a different story altogether..

of course, the infamous nose-diggers, nose hair-pluckers, yakkity-yak-wifey-with-bored-to-death-husband, annoying(but oblivious) brats at the passanger seats making funny faces, what have you. there was one car, and all the passangers in it were grooving!!!! that was cool.

it's an observer's kaleidoscope :)

and then 20 minutes later, it got boring. apparently there was only so much to see in a traffic jam!!! it's always the same car next to yours. sheesh. but it was fun while it lasted :D then came hell.

aboard a car on a long journey is an exciting place to savor a variety of flavors from beef/chicken/sardines/what-you-had-for-lunch jerky burps and ownerless farts. Such aromas combined make for pleasant headaches, nausea, and irritable bowel syndrome. made worst with the oldies music from some boring malay radio station.

not forgetting the pms-y aunt! and the poor uncle who had to control not only his bladder, but his rage at those inconsiderate drivers who kept jumping into his lane.

"basket," he muttered about just 82645 times. and he's known to be a pious man who attends religious classes regularly and are best mates with the man-of-the-mosque. or in malay we call him the imam.

i took lame ass shots of lina and myself and cousin lili was always looking over at us, amused. but we ignored her because we don't make friends with teachers. especially teachers who teach humanities. hahaha joke :D we love cousin lili.

haha look what 2 crazy hours cramped at the back seat of the car, with all the other goods from angsana can do to you. (i dont get it why they cant just get it in singapore. i mean, okay its cheaper at jb but isnt it more convenient buying all these groceries at ntuc or cold storage or shop and save just 3-4 bus stops away???!).

dunkin donuts..yummy. ..not. im not a donut person. i know noratiah is. heh. im more of an old chang kee person!!!!! xD i'll post pictures tomorrow if i feel like it :O
Someone special blogged @ 8:48 PM l

JustLELA


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