3 secrets to FAILURE..

1. using money as your motivation. giving up your values and characters for money.
2. doing everything for your own profit. fecking egocentric.
3. living to please people.

are you going to waste your time??

a meaningful life is a life that influences other lives. be a humble man, not a slave. do not be a hypocrite.

and as mr jason mraz sang in the last mighty track in his mighty mr. a-z album(aherm):

you shouldnt mumble when you speak
but keep your tongue up in your cheek
and if you stumble on to something better
remember that its humble that you seek
youve got all the skills you need
individuality
youve got something, call it gumption
call it anything you want
because when you play the fool now
youre only fooling everyone else
youre learning to love yourself

....oh okay. i realise those two dont really relate.... but thats besides the point la. the song by mraz is inspirational and i hope what i had written kind of wake you up la. :D

it sure woke me up!! because..okay between you and me(and you, and you and you and you too), i think im guilty of number 3...... ive faaaailed!!! aaaarghhh :( ..well it would be an exaggeration to say i LIVE as a people pleaser. lets just say ive always thought its important to delight them.. you know, service before self?

eh thats my primary school school motto!! haha!

okay then that explains alot.......

but now..NO MORE. im living my life for me. if youre not happy, ..take it outside, lady. hah. ceh. no no.. if youre not happy, then im genuinely sorry :(

i was watching she spies on channel 5 yesterday(yes ive got lots of free time in my hands! envy me..) and dee dee said something intelligent(because dee dee in the story is not really known to be that intelligent....but she kickass okay!?): "the first five years of your childhood plays a major role in shaping who you are now."

hm.
Someone special blogged @ 11:05 PM l

..argh i envy those holler back crews semi finalists. they get to have so much fun. WELL. thats about to change, ey! ....as soon as i start poly. ..nurses can have fun tooo! haha yea. yea. yea. say ooh. la la. say ooh.

oh i had just a long long looonnng phone conversation with my beloved humble srieeeeee.. heeehheeheh. this is big. im not the type to hog on the phone for hours. i dont even remember when was the last time i chatted with someone on the phone for more than 20 minutes. oh wait i do. but it wasnt something i had looked forward to. in other words, it wasnt by choice.

the things one do for a friend. then again, if i were a friend, i would have been honest. then again agaaain, i had brought it upon myself. how would i know he was an unappreciative brainless moron. ....but i dont blame him la..

alamak ter-sidetrack! where was i. oh yea. what did sriee and i talk about, i dont remember. i remember reminiscing with her and laughing alot :D really therapeutic. i also remember her asking me how's the story going... wheeee. aww. imma sucker for those who give a shit about my stories:) dont all writers??? eh i hope she can make it on monday to visit the zoo with ryan and i. we could use the company :D

okay just so you know, i came with a different subject in mind but look what i ended up typing. oh well! another long entry this will be again! any violent objections? anyone?

i came to vent my anger, which now has turned to confusion, because i had forgotten what was it that had incurred my wrath. ...oh feck it. who likes to be angry.

okay now im angry. here i am trying to recall something and syak is in the background shooting me random(and ludicrous) questions. examples? if you have an 11-year-old sister, you'll know what i mean.

i hate it when people disturb me when im on to something; it murders the magical moment entirely, without leaving anything to salvage. im not exactly the most focused being in the universe. in fact, if anything, im the complete opposite. so unless my hair is on fire, feck off.

.....i hate it when im pissed off. i get very ugly. so thats why i dont get angry very often:D doesnt mean i dont la. so ive been trying to be sad instead of mad lets say, if one of my sisters get on my nerves. i went, "why did you do that for?" with a sad puppy look. that always got them all apologetic.

it was fun for a while but sometimes, getting angry is easier....more satisfying, sometimes rewarding.. in a sick kind of way. because sometimes you just wanna scream and kick them in the face. and an apology is really the last thing you want from them.

....you'd rather squeeze it out of them:D

okay im distracted once again. .oh forget it. if i try any more, its never gonna end.

(PS. i was out today and i saw this gorgeous technician guy at the cc with perfectly toned and tanned arms..which triggered back my fetish for male's arms. freaky. its a subconscious thing....im not proud of this but oh the pleasure it brings. girls will be girls :D or..lela will be lela.)

the queen of long winded entries with absolutely no theme or point but hopes it has been a fun read, signing off
-lela. (queen? i meant goddess)
Someone special blogged @ 10:09 PM l

GUESS WHAT! im finally going to the zoo!!! alright!!! life is definitely fantastic(funny how i am easily delighted/pleased. i make a great girlfriend.. HAHAHA). im making plans with miss ong ruoyan right now oh yea oh yea uh huh and at the same time im hyperventilating oohhh can't you tell. its smoking in here~

she's losing it, padda pappapa.

imagine the sights we'll seeee.. the sounds of the animals we'll hear.. the pictures i'll shoooot!!.. and the manures we'll smell... :) oh nothing we cant handle. of course we meaning ryan and i la. we nasty girls. i know the more the merrier but the two of us? is already like two hundred of us. dont believe?! what, you wanna take it outside, mister?

..ive officially lost it, havent i.

complained to ryan that the fare is a little too much la. she suggested coning a tourist into treating us...

ryan:"but u do the talking."
meee:"HAHAHA! good morning/afternoon. looking gorgeous today! lovely hat! okay now we could use some lunch."
" yes u see,we're orphans.She's my sister,and always had wanted to get in there.Could u help us?we're from the AWWA home.But please DONT tell them,cause we sneaked out."
"what, we dont look like siblings? oh thats AWWA home for you. that made us like this. they're horrible! but you, you look great!"
"Yes!Look at the boobs and rolls of fat,you eat well!Looking prosperous too misterrr!"
"*stomach growls* OH. ..i think that came from that monkey!!"
"You see lady,my sister cant even tell monkey and horse apart!"
"that was a HORSE? oohhhh im sad. i think i need food in my system like..now."

hahhaa! ..role playing is fun. but ..yea. i think i do need food in my system now.. heeh. hm. im always eating at this hour.... though i never realised it til hannan brought it up last night. "but how come youre not... fat.." he said. and i told him that for all he knew ive volumized to the size of winnie lam over the so-called hols!

well unfortunately im not. not yet, he added. but i wasnt offended. i want more meat in meeeee!!!!

the chick who wants more meat in her signing off,
-lela.
Someone special blogged @ 11:25 PM l

it tickles how you find quirky things to chat with me about on msn when i know you were just looking for company. but it's this egoism deal that makes you such an earnest friend.. xD

:) LOOK. its morning and im up. the weather is perfect outside. at least from where i am, it is :) haha. you know what? mornings the only time i can really find peace.... what with both my loser sisters out schooling(at least syak is.....). and the eccentric mother's working morning shift. so its just me :)

..and my grandpar, of course. but theyre old and im actually doing them a favour by making myself scarce. anyway, they've got each other to keep sane. heh. if you know what i mean.. its so cute sometimes to see them teasing each other. whee so much love.

ive been doing a lot and a lot of reading lately :D its another alternative of shutting myself from the ugly things around me...ugly meaning responsibilities, priorities, ..and tidying up the room. hah. currently reading secret window, secret garden by stephen king.

im sure youve heard of the movie adapted from this novel, featuring johnny depp(my hero, my man!). i myself have caught the movie..twice. but believe me, reading the book is so much more satisfying, so much more powerrr. by reading, you get the feel of the characters; their inner thoughts, something you dont get to see in the movie. to put it simply, you become the characters.

(i never understood the movie.. but after reading, ive got the hang of it :D only that the endings are different. i prefer the movie ending though.. and in the book, mort rainey's pet is a tomcat, not a dog.)

thats why reading is fun. i can be somebody else. and dont we all wish we were someone else sometimes? HENCE why i love writing; i can create anyone at any point of time whenever my heart desires.

feck it. if you must know, there seemed to be so much to tell you about when i was in the bathroom slapping facial cream all over my face. now im just blanka. .....must be something in the cream la.
Someone special blogged @ 10:52 AM l

do you know that when you envy someone, its because you really like that person?

that those appear to be very stong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible?

that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?

did you know that the three most difficult things to say are : i love you, sorry and help me? the people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.

did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?

that those who dress in red are most confident in themselves? and those who dress n yellow are those that enjoy their beauty? that those dress in black are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

did you know that those who need of you are those that dont mention it to you?

its easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? but did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that you can buy with money? that most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing things that scare you the most?

do you know that fate changes everything? but who knows where life will take you in the meantime? for the road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.

did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted? that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy.. if you ask for it by faith, and it you really knew, youd be surprised by what you do.

but dont believe everything i tell you until you try it for yourself, if you know someone that is in need of something that i mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned in two-fold.

Labels: bleedingwords

Someone special blogged @ 4:33 PM l

hey there. everybody sharing the love? :)


did you know that the same areas of the brain are involved when you have a crush on someone and if you're suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder? the name already explains itself. and the reason why you feel sick, love sick that is, is because of the low serotonin level in the brain.

and one would tend to fall in love with someone similar to their parents.

love, as defined by scientists, is just a series of chemical processes in the brain. first the infatuation, triggered by looks and thus triggering the serotonin in the brain. next, dopamine. this makes people high, romantic and feel exhilarated. then once the love birds are no longer so passionate about each other, oxytocin takes effect. this makes people feel attached to each other.

so basically, love has different stages la. first the crush, then romance, then life-long attachment if things work out.

so love at first sight is just a sack of shit. that only happens in typical american movies. yea, that i can live with. reality of life is far from idyllic. but i guess some other things are better left unknown. i wouldnt want to know anything more of those scientific definition of love, what with all the 'chim' terms.

wont it be so sad if we find out one day that Love is just a total series of chemical processes and psychological disorders? and that the reason why we love whom we love is based on primal instinct and not our own choice? we already know some processes involved but by researching and discovering more about the secrets of love, wont that just destroy the magic of it?

(credits for this entry goes to tabitha poh. thanks for the info:))

Labels: bleedingwords

Someone special blogged @ 8:29 PM l

hi :) i got cooking tips from xingwai's blog and id like to share it with you.

Cooking the tips and the trips.

SPAGHETTI
Items you will need
-Spaghetti noodle(duhh)
-Prego Sauce
-Garlic
-Olive Oil
-A Pan
-A steady fire
-A pair of hands

First boil the noodles till they are reasonably soft. Be sure not to soak your hands in the hot water (it may burn). Next filter the water and put the noodles on a plate. For better result use filter paper and a funnel. Then heat up the pan and pour some olive oil in. CAUTION!! Do not add water endless you think your face is too beautiful. But if your face is more beautiful than mine, go ahead add some water and then some firecrackers.

When the oil is hot, add some garlic in. *Refrain from adding too much if your breathe can kill a dinosaur.
And then pour some sauce in. This looks like blood but PLEASE DO NOT cry for help YOU are not bleeding.
Finally pour the COOKED noodles in and stir. For a more crunchy feel skip step 1.

Thats all.

Good Luck with your cooking.

Points to remember(ALWAYS)
1. If the kitchen catches fire, remain calm. Wait for the fire to grow really big before you attempt to jump out of the window.
2. If it doesnt catch fire then remember not to swallow your food, the utensils you use (be it your fingers, nose, forks or whatever) and the plate.

HAHAHAHA. he's funny :)

by the way xw is an ex-classmate..? kids in class called him 'mahathir' because he's a malaysian..(i dont think he was very pleased with such recognition la. if you think thats bad, they called linus sivalingam a 'banglar'.) has unfortunately migrated to america. either singapore is not good enough for him or his parents has nothing better to do with the money. ooh i sound bitter, but im not. personally i think xingwai is hot. but he hung out with hannan so..yea.

im waiting for momster to bring home dinner. hence this un-edited balderdash of an entry. but i hope it made you laugh! even though the credits should really go to xingwai. wheehee. i apologise, though, if i may sound harsh(in case you happen to stumble upon this, xw. and ring me wuncha?). so ill see you when i see you.

lots of love from a girl, sometimes The.
Someone special blogged @ 8:47 PM l

if money is not a problem, and you could change one thing about your physical appearance, what would yours be? well i want a boob job. i mean, my boobs are non-existent. haha. what? im just being honest. what, nobody appreciates honesty no more?

joke :) haha. last i need is people thinking im dealing with insecurities..as if thats not bad enough, they might think im a bit cuckoo; therefore dumb enough to announce it here in cyber world.

boobs are overrated anyway. urmph. ..xD actually im just waiting for ruoyan baby to text me already. we're hitting down town! (am trying to cut down the number of paragraphs to make the illusion that my entries are shorter....)

i had my urine examination! haha. iskandar reckoned im the first person he knows who gets so excited about a urine examination. yup i skipped to the toilet, and sang my song while urinating on a strip of paper.

so you think its that easy?!!?

i had to wait for a while because none of the toilet cubicles were vacant. for a long while. but i understand, really. about time the last door swung open, and a guy(unisex toilet) walked out, looking like he had just found a million dollar in the toilet bowl. again, i understand :) we kind of smiled at each other. if you know what i mean,

i got in and whoa nelly.. the ceilings and everything were dripping wet. what, did they take a shower in here as well?! unless of course, it wasnt water thats trickling down the walls. i tried not to imagine what happened before i came...... *sees an imagine of a helpless boy battling with his penis, urine squarting everywhere in all direction but the bowl*

ha ha i had a bottle of water with me. i took a mighty gulp. then i waited. ..right. as if it takes that fast. i dont have a super kidney. so i started humming jack johnson: "im sitting waiting wishing that you believe in superstitions then maybe you'd see the signs.." ..it was going to be a long afternoon.... then my phone rang. it was the motherr.

yea she was pissed off that i was taking a longer time than usual(she was at the waiting area). she suggested coming over... i wanted to laugh: come over and do what!? i imagined her outside the door, making shee-shee noises.. yea like thats gonna help. ..or is it?

glad to tell you, i managed to pee just fine like any normal being without any help!! like as if peeing on a strip of paper is natural, we do it everyday! lalala! i walked out at the same time with a girl who was using the cubicle next to me. we gave each other a high-five. hahahha just kiddiiing.

OH. OH. ryan just texted. im outta here!
Someone special blogged @ 2:06 PM l

The Difference Between Rich/Poor People?
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took
his son on a trip to the country with the express
purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm
of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked
his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father
asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?"
asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our
garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they
have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have
the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they
have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve
others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us,
they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how
poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you
wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for
everything we have, instead of worrying about what
we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially
your friends!

Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and help
them refresh their perspective and appreciation.

"Life is too short and friends are too few."

Labels: bleedingwords

Someone special blogged @ 10:07 PM l

nudge the world says:
if he dont come to us, we come to him!
nudge the world says:
yea!!
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
hahaha
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
fly to whereever he is to see him perform live for 2-4hrs then fly back to singaproe?
nudge the world says:
kiss his feet and then fly back
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
oh nono
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
i wont kiss
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
i will just suck his d**k then fly back
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
!! thats wrong
nudge the world says:
HAHAHAH!!!!!!!!
nudge the world says:
THAT IS SO WRONG
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
hahaha
nudge the world says:
leave that one to him, you just do the kissing
nudge the world says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
HE SUCK MINE?
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
hahahahahaa
nudge the world says:
eh NO. leave that to ME.
nudge the world says:
WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO CORRECT
nudge the world says:
its all confusing now.
nudge the world says:
just shut up
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
hahahahaha
nudge the world says:
SO WHICH TRACK YOU LISTENING NOW?
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
please dont tell her~
nudge the world says:
hhahha yehh
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
u are making me change subject
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
haha
nudge the world says:
its healthier, this subject
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
u have a point
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
u have a point
nudge the world says:
yes
nudge the world says:
yes
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
ya
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
ya
nudge the world says:
let us pretend it never happened
nudge the world says:
how about that?
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
what happen?
nudge the world says:
what?
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
dunno
nudge the world says:
good, we already forgot about it
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
hahaha
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
LIES
nudge the world says:
..i dont know what you talking about
nudge the world says:
dum de dum
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
..nvm
nudge the world says:
i do know what you talking about, you know. just not acknowledging it
nudge the world says:
oh nevermind
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
shhhhh
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
stop talking
nudge the world says:
stop talking about what?
nudge the world says:
oh okay shhh!!
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
yes SHH!!!
- e r n - i got a life!! says:
hi im clean =)
nudge the world says:
HAHAHA
nudge the world says:
im cleaner =D

oh gawdd thats the funniest convo ive ever had since a while. ..of course when i say funniest i meant a different definition altogether. ernest brings out the hormonal whore in me. ..because he's one himself. :O

haha.

(oh we were talking about jason mraz. he's a bloody fan too!! which explains his nick la. he reckoned now that he finally came round to buy mr. a-z, his 'life been lit up'. HEY. we same same! HAHA.)

he can be a total JACKASS too. ..he said and i quote, spelling and all,

"this is the morning announcement: ytd we found a body of an 18year old boy by the name of enest sum at the bottom of a hundreth floor bluilding. reasons of death not found, cause taken as sucide. if anyone have any information please call the police."

it was the release of his results yesterday, see. i meant to ask him but i guess it slipped my mind! so i asked him la how he did

"*dead*"

then i got all sympathetic and everything only to find out:

"reasons of death too overjoyed. 6a+ omg. i didnt expect that result.."

then i got all happy for him and everything(i freaken said, "ingenious ernest, you live up to your name!) ONLY TO FIND OUT:

"haha. no la kiddig!!!!i didnt score that badly but i didnt do that good either."

JACKASS. ingenious ernest my foot xP

anyone getting the idea that im smitten? because just so you know, im not okay :P
Someone special blogged @ 7:33 PM l

momster and i had a row today. i swear sometimes she can drive me up the wall and across the ceiling upside down.

its times like these, i realised us treating each other more like friends then mother-daughter, is wrong. because when she starts one of her inevitable naggings, i find myself snapping back at her. at the end of the day, both of us feel as awful..):

so when we went to the bank to pay the poly fees, she was walking right ahead and i tailed behind wordlessly. i didnt have my dicsman with me because lina took it to school so i felt kind of vulnerable..?

music does these kind of stuff to you :)

we dropped by the photocopier shop to duh, photocopy some documents.. there was a 7eleven next store, so impulsively with an air of feigned unconcern, i asked, "you want any drinks?"

then it was cool after that.. :D i cant be mad at her forever can i. i need her more than she needs me.

i went to library after visiting the bank whereas momster went ntuc.. i wasnt really looking for books to read, more like for referance and research. being a regular, i could find my way blindfolded. but i found out they've shifted some book sections so i had a hard time trying to locate the particular books i needed.

heh borrowed 5, with help from lina's library card. this would last me for weeks. but who knows? :D

then lina and i had lunch at pizza hut... :-O YEa. one of those days. where spontaineity and empty stomachs overrule everything else. oh well! whats important is we went home full and contented! haha!

we dont live forever you know :P

im meeting syahiRA later!!! wheee!!!! i miss her so fecking much. she got into..seranggon jc? whereas syahiDA into innova jc. feck, i really salute them :D very gutsy twin siblings they are.

sometimes i wish i could be more like them; bold and athletic, fit and confident without coming off cocky. well okay, maybe they can be a bit cocky :D but i love them that way.

OH YEA. i had a funny dream.. i was at the zoo..with hannan, rasheedi and apriani(hannan's primary school galfriend)! then i was waken up by an sms from hannan saying if id like to come over his house for guitar lessons with rasheedi and dicky.

freaky. i thought i dreamt it but no. i took awhile to digest this.

........HAHA! i cant see it at all! id probably be at one corner, watching the 3 of them cracking toilet jokes and hurling good-natured insults at each other. and hannan would throw me his toothy grin, as if to ask me to join in and i would smile back at him politely to say, i'll pass.

it has always been like that! like during that lunch/study-group last time. i just LAUGHED at them. or with them. mostly at them. it will always be like that! imma girl la dey. maybe if i were younger(and bolder) i would. but imma young lady!! it wont be nice.

hey im a young lady :) -curtsies-

oh trash that. id definitely go if i didnt have anything on today :D i dont know why. the thrills i guess. they're very interesting, funny people. i could write a book about them.

hey i have an idea! i could write a book about them!! i never wrote a story from a male point of view before. wow. this is so cool. but to do that, i need to know them. to know them is to be them. to be them is to love them. to love them is to know them. ..back to square one.

to hell with guitar lessons. i can have them online via webcam. i think ill work on this story.....haha fun fun fun. i wonder what they'll think of this.

one girl and three boys under one roof(any girl would kill me to be in this position?). i dont think ive heard anything funnier.

..more fun, i mean :D
Someone special blogged @ 5:02 PM l

yeaa its a pleasant day today :) its chilly and its 3pm. i am so gonna snuggle in my bed with a warm mug of coffee with a good book after this..and uh after filling in the forms in the enrolment package.

ive been avoiding it like a plague... dont know why. i guess its because i dont want to acknowledge the sad truth that poly is gonna start less than a month time. not that i dont wanna go, IM ESCTATIC. just that im gonna miss this. this freedom. this lifestyle. haha. imma pig.

momster especially took leave from work to be there next to me and make sure i fill in the damn documents. she took leave yesterday too, to send me for medical checkup. ..how sweet...................

the medical checkup was not scary la. eh. not that i was scared! cis. the nurses there were hostile as shit though. whats their problem?

haha i think i know :D having to deal with noisy, inconsiderate teenagers. made worst with what reaching menopause......... whoops! hehehhe. oh okay not all nurses are over 50. some were younger..very young. and they were WORST la.

im more nervous of pms-y nurses than sharp fine needles injecting into my vein.

ah yes. sharp fine needles injecting into my vein.... :D "will it hurt?" i asked the senior(aherm) nurse, as she tapped my arm(the helpless spot where she was going to plunge the needle into).

"yes."

wow. she didnt even care to lie and made me less tensed. then again, i wouldnt believe her, would i? if she had said it wouldnt hurt a bit? however, i wasnt sure if i should be grateful for her blunt honesty or not..

she must have noticed how i suddenly gone very quiet(i was very..chirpy and chatty when i came in...nervous reflex) and that my arm suddenly turned so stiff; i was clenching too tightly onto the cylinder thingie she had told me to grasp so my vein would pop ups. she smiled down at me and weirdly, i felt myself relaxed a little bit.

she was the first nurse who smiled. and she was actually very nice :) considering the others were like tyrants. .....haha. sorry i just dont get it, why they had to be so hostile.

okay frankly now, it hurt a bit. the needle. my skin. blood. i had looked away and gritted my teeth in a grimace. the pain lingered; i realised it was taking a longer time than i had expected. well, it was trying to withdraw my blood so it would need a certain amount.

hurry already!!

heh heh yea i could feel it as the nurse gently but quickly withdrew the needle from me. wah. then came another sort of pain.

"ow."

she was holding down onto the wound with a cotton wool with such admirable pressure..coming from an old lady. and i ow-ed! so it was really something! i looked at her as though she had betrayed me somehow and she smiled warmly.

"to stop the blood."

it didnt stop the blood at all.. because when she released her hand, more practically shot right out and up like a mini bloody(pun intended) fountain. i was like, "ooooh." mild fascination..and okay fine it scared me a wee bit.

"quite a lot, ey, from a tiny little hole," i joked. and she kind of gave a little snort. nurses cant laugh, huh, i wanted to say again, but she there she goes again, pressing onto the wound..if not harder.

this other nicer nurse.."blood pressure is fine. heartrate is very fast." she stared at me, frowning a little yet there was that hint of smile on her lips. "are you nervous?"

youve got frankerstein in women's body as nurses. how can i not be nervous?

"im supergirl and i have to save the world. can i go now?" i said instead. then i gave a sad laugh. hahaha. im so sad.....

honestly now, i dont know why my heart was beating very fast. i wasnt nervous. if i were, then i cant imagine how fast my heart must be hammering when i was getting my o's results. i bet norine could see it beating against my shirt.

didnt go for urine examination because i was having my periods. so i have to come "whenever im ready", as quoted from a poker-faced nurse.

just when i thought i could get it over and done with. gmum told me i could prepare my pee from home..just in case.. then i wouldnt have to worry about having to spend hours in the toilet, waiting for my bladder to do its thang.

efficient. hm. but the idea of carrying around my urine in a container, is just crazy. even if you throw me the tiniest container man ever made.

how do i pee in one again?

"another nurse!" this doctor chuckled as i sat down on the chair across him. he was very lively and loud, for a senior doctor. a refreshing change indeed. "you're going to be working here in the near future," he added.

NO. WAY.

"no way," i said, feigning a fake mortified expression(haha), but jovially(HAHA!). "i want more blood," i joked, didnt want the doctor to get the right impression that i was thinking to be working here as a nurse is a big no-no. BIG no-no!!

it was over(sort of). after 2 excruciating hours. then we had lunch cum dinner at KITCHEN SPOT. they serve the best fish fillet:D

okay. i think i could use a mug of nescafe now.
Someone special blogged @ 2:36 PM l

hello! :) there is so much to pen down!!!

today, or yesterday rather(19th march), was a great day!! :) i never felt so blessed... it's grand, the things He do and how, because i had a horrible, horrible day the day before(18th march), and i felt so miserable and down i could just ARGH do something stupid. but He held me through and i feel so blessed.

what exactly happened todayyesterday?

before i continue, my sincerest gratitude to noratiah larry:D my best net buddy. i dont know what id do without you. thanks for making me laugh.

and iskandar shah!! thanks for talking and listening to me talk about death. youre cool :D and if you bruised yourself during silat, im your nurse. haha.

yea it was one of those days, folks.... that was the last time im taking any afternoon nap...... i may not wanna experience that day and that feeling again.. but i am not regretting any of it. not even a second of it. twisted as that may sound huh.

without sorrow, one could never fully understand joy. without darkness, one could never appreciate the beauty of a new day. there's a flip-side to every coin.

okay, my family had a kenduri(kindar for me:D ..kindar) and we had the whole relatives over.. and the house was crowded, the atmosphere was amazing. so much laughter and love.. i wouldnt trade it with anything else in this world. yes :) not even a seat at jason mraz's concert :):)

unless we are all there la. because nothing beats having your loved ones around. yea yea my relatives can be annoying at times but hey, i love them. i think we can rock the world :D

we already rocked the whole hdb flat with our noise. ..

even uncle sam(ad) at overseas called :) had a chance to chat with my 4-year-old cousin noah over the phone!!!! "i am doing art..taking pictures!!" he said. oh gawdd the canadian accent......

hm i loved the preparation for the kenduri..the cooking, the cleaning, the rush.. in fact preparations for anything is always the most memorable..and fun! was helping gmum with the cooking in the kitchen. at the same time, teaching syak maths.. :-O multi-tasking.

cousin elly was going through my camera and fecking concluded I HAVE A FLAIR IN PHOTOGRAPHY. having to hear it agaaain?? it was something la. because i swear i know nuts. all i do is snap. if something grabs my attention(everything always have my attention), ill take a photo of it.

im not alled LELLY MCLENS for nothing? muahahha.

sooooo we had a FEAST. yummy yummy. gmum's a marvellous cook and we all know it. then we sat around and we did alot of catching up with one another..

cousin lili kindar just got back from india with her students and she was sharing with us her experience..haha shes funny the way she explains :D AND SHE'S FLYING TO FRANCE IN JUNE. whereas elly is GOING GERMANY IN MAY.

veh gehts! go ahead all and fly now. WHO ELSE?!!

lets have another get-together please! :D

after everybody left and the mess in the kitchen has been cleared up(but momster..haha), i logged on to msn... well. bummer than noratiah wasnt online.

i think i heard the best news from nurool :D i was so elated!! and we managed to settle about our differences... and if anything, we're closer than before now :) I LOVE YOU, nurool.

and as i thought, nothing can get better than this, ernest came along and humour me with his..lame ass cock attitude. ......that didnt come out right. but yea :D he's always making me laugh. for the wrong reasons, most of the time. im fine with it though!

he is one in a million rarity!

damn i dont want this day to end.. ah. but its almost 4am? haha? oh well. i believe this is only the beginning :) more days like these are gonna come. ive a good feeling about it. thank GOD for everything.
Someone special blogged @ 3:35 AM l

i had decided to leave the house for the interview at singapore poly at 9am. nabila was right, the bus journey takes more than 60 minutes :) so i estimated i would be there by 10.30am, right on time.

i woke at 9.

you could imagine the pandemonium. so while i bathed, momster picked out the clothes to wear. ..a blouse and a fecking skirt. she reckoned normal jeans and tee's are too informal to be worn to an interview.

Uh!?

waited for a taxi and almost died; 1)there was this father and daughter waiting for one too and being typical singaporeans, the father and my momster were practically competing against each other, trying to be the first to flag an incoming taxi, only to be turned out(go figure).

2)the morning sun showed no mercy whatsoever. aand i was wearing a long sleeve blouse. i felt sticky and uncomfortable. thanks, mommeyh. just what i needed to ace the interview :D

3)most of the cabbies turned us down!!!! i dont know why!!!!!

it was 10.15 when we finally got a taxi. imagine my agitation, lina's complete ignorance and momster's i-told-you-so's. ..plus chinese oldies from the cabby's radio speakers........

i reached sp at 10.36am. i already knew where i was heading, so i practically flew to the location: general office at level 4. was panting and sweating and when i caught my reflection in the glass doors of the GO, i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

in a mad rush to be on time, i completely forgot to 'tame' my hair. hahahha. it was all over the place! so quickly i smoothed it down, tugging on tangles and finger-combing through, trying to ignore the looks those early birds were giving me through the doors.

my competition was significantly..more punctual(haha sorry cant help it), and bolder(how they dress....to momster:normal jeans and tee's informal my ass), and uh, less tense and twitchy. i was all that they aint.........

guys outnumbered the girls. they took up most of the seats..ALL of the seats. and talking loudly, like as if they knew one another already. okay maybe they did. maybe they were early, so they took all the chairs, leaving the girls all standing up.

where are all the nice gentlemen? probably born as girls.

okay. not that i discriminate my own race but feck, majority of those shortlisted for the interview were malays! girls, especially, almost all. okay. all were except for one indian.

and one chinese who came in after me. hah. good to know i wasnt the last to arrive..? yeehaw!! (this is really meant for me. nothing personal. im not insulting the chinese girl :))

then this man came in through the doors, called for a guy named ryan. ryan is cute :) couple of minutes past.. the same man walked in, called for sheryl. that chinese girl who was after me..... i bet everyone was thinking, no fair..we were here first. haha.

THEN IT WAS MY TURN! AH!!! AHH!! AHH!!!! only i wasnt sure because the man had trouble articulating my name, my beautiful name. ............it didnt sound like my name at all. heck it didnt sound like a name. at least not from a language we are familiar with. haha.

only when he mentioned "ismail" at the end, i went, "yea that would be..my father."

so i followed him into this room, where 2 other pleasant-looking ladies sat barricaded behind a desk. he offered me a seat, cordial introductions(and corrections, if you know what im saying) were made. frankly though, i wasnt registering anything they were saying yet; the combustible combination of excitement and anxiety was overwhelming.

just have fun, was what i kept telling myself......

"oKAY," the chinese lady said, startling me a little, "maybe you could start by telling us a bit about yourself?"

then i panicked. what did she really want to know about? my family background?? about my crazy mother who was waiting at the bus stop outside the building as the interview was going on(she insisted!)? about the ugly blister in my foot? okay maybe not that. about schoool maybe??? :D

only what *about* school? the friendly environment? the pms-y teachers males included? the disgusting canteen food? ..eh i can go on.

then i realised, this was a bloody interview to determine whether they would accept me into DMC. so when they asked to tell them more about myself, they actually wanted me to convince them why i should be admitted!!!! eureka!

apparently i was taking too much time thinking. because then the indian lady asked, "about your cca in your former school maybe?"

so i told them about the best cca in the world; eldds. HAHA. pfft. i dont know, i babbled alot.. "english language drama and debate society.. only we never debate ha ha..... was one of the cast in a musical....... drama won bronze award....... enjoy performing so much.. amazing experience.... miming too.... kanna closed down though because failed to recruit enough members ...."

whoa overshariing.

come to think of it, i talked alot of bullshit. i wouldnt expect them to understand, because even i didnt get what i was saying!! they were too polite to interrupt i guess. and i? i was being too proud to stop myself........ but i took it as a warm up.. then i found my pace(and my voice) and i was on a roll :)

"i extremely enjoy writing. ever since i could pick up a pen." an exaggeration(meant to be a joke) and an emphasis on enjoy :) with the face and everything. HAHA! i mean, thats what they wanted to hear right?? and i DO enjoy writing. you should know.

i was on a roll la... i realised i even told them about my blog... "..personal blog," i amended hurriedly, trying to salvage the situation.... last i need was some lecturer looking up at google for my blog.

though id be flattered.. :)

"im very easily driven," i said earnestly. and their faces lit up. it could mean from 'the ego has come visit!' to 'wow..impressive!' but that got their attention nevertheless.

"but at the same time, im easily distracted too," i added with a smirk, as though im actually proud of this fact!!! "so ironically, i stroke a balance!"

and they LAUGHED.

ding ding ding! jackpot! haha. they wont be too quick to forget me now :)

"what do you see yourself do in the future?"

a dramatic pause. looked down. looked back up into the eyes of the chinese lady(she did asked the question) as though she was santa and i was going tell her what i want for christmas:

"i want my own column in the papers."

if i could, you know i would force tears into my eyes and look all pitiful and desperate .......... just for kicks :D and to see their reaction. but no. too much drama :D so i shut up and watched them scribble hard into some papers, nodding and smiling.

"..or a social worker," i found myself saying.

their faces. oh gawdd.. they were like, where did that come from? but i get that reaction all the time. i guess people dont hear this everyday.

"im passionate about helping others," i explained. the smirk was gone. no hint of humour. just sincerity.

as much as i'd like to tell you that at this point, the indian lady had took out a tissue and wiped her tears, .....that would be a tad too exaggerated. HAHA.

next question: "okay, tell me what you know about this course?"

thank gawd for the DMC broshure i received back during the sp open house :D so i mentioned stuffs like, "web pulishing, writing for media, scriptwriting, digital art, oral communication..." ......except the most important: BUSINESS.

"you do know we include business in this course, yes?" the indian lady asked. "like economics, marketing, finance...."

..................................... i wasnt going to lie so i said, "im afraid, im not so familiar with that," i admitted. tickticktick went the timebomb. "but i *am* aware of it." ..yea. helpful.

"so why do you pick DMC at sp if youre not sure?" this was from the man. it came from nowhere, i literally jumped in the seat. "why not at ngee ann poly instead?"

"im sorry?" stall for time. always the best policy. but i wasnt listening when he repeated his question. i was composing my inner me, which was tempted to flee!!!! she's good at fleeing, my inner me.

then ting!! went a light bulb over my head. "i pick DMC at sp because it includes business, which though im not very familiar with, im all psyche to learn. i believe it will help alot."

more nods from the ladies.. the man didnt look convinced. i was praying he wouldnt ask how exactly business would help media and communications. because i wouldnt wanna go too in depth... come on, we dont have all day... ....hehehhe. hehehehehhe.

next question!!!!

"do you have any questions for us?"

.........okay. am i accepted?!?!?!!!?!?!??!

"how many students are you aiming to recruit exactly??" i asked instead. i was expecting a digit. but they went further more than just that :D

most of the things that said didnt really get into my head anyways. bad attention span? i would like to say it was the sheer delight i was experiencing, knowing that the interview didnt go thaaat bad. at least from where i was standing. ..sitting.

".....to?"
.."sorry?"
"where are you posted to?"
"oh! nursing."

that face again. HAHA.

"i wanna volunteer at a home." 0_0
"i wanna go around the world and make a difference in people's lives." 0_0
"i wanna do something nice today.. roll over, let me scrub your back :)" 0_0

i might as well tell them im a fecking male cannibal and the hair is a cheap wig and i can fly like a bloody eagle.

the chinese lady recovered impressively fast....... "oh. oh yea. passionate about helping others," she said succintly, smiling and looking like she just solved a mystery murder.

it was over too soon! continuing to observe interview protocol, i thanked them and left. so the door was heavy and when i let go it just slammed behind me. what a way to end....

i wanted to pop back in, apologise, and shut it properly this time but that would seem ludicrously silly. so i prayed they wouldnt get the wrong impression and made me way out :D down the corridor, passed the general office where the other interviewees(?) were waiting(i purposely spring my steps and looked like i won a million bucks..just to spite them haha!), down the stairs and whoa.

the first floor which was initially EMPTY, was crawling with people!!! ..okay??? i swear it was EMPTY.

i told momster i made them people laugh and she gave me a weird look. "is that a good thing?" ....so much for basking in the afterglow of a magical interview and a hopeful course prospect..................

yeap i was feeling good about it. but the more i think about it, the more i feel it was...it was..... average. yea i made them laugh, but was that a good thing? for all i know they were laughing at me!

oh wel. i tried. and i definitely had fun :D though i can do without the rushing part..... hm.
Someone special blogged @ 11:14 PM l

if only i were on my way to esplanade music hall right now, psyching myself for jason mraz' probably-once-in-MY-lifetime performance.. :( ARGH. id KILL somebody to be there, watching him live, and then meeting him, exchanging pleasantries:), shaking his hand, kissing his feet..

and then being locked up for murder at no mercy.....

HEY AT LEAST I GOT TO SEE MRAZ :D something to talk about behind the prison bars with my fellow jail-mates.

i got this from his official website/journal..its a recent entry, dated today the seventeenth of march(the thing i love also about mr mraz is that unlike most artistes on tours, he actually keeps us posted with his whereabouts at least once a week:D he's all about the wordplay) :

Singapore is home to the world’s largest water fountain, aptly named the fountain of wealth. I put my hand in the water, made a silent wish and walked around its epicenter three times. This is what you’re supposed to do to receive a life of good fortune. Thank you God of Architectural Achievement. I can go home now.

yea. i can see me now, at that fountain, jumping up and down screaming MRAZ WAS HERE.

Tonight in Singapo:
The hottest women get together to celebrate the 50 most eligible bachelors at a party around the corner from our show.
Make that 51, yo.
I’ll be there right after I flow.

Asia is the jam.


no, YOU ARE. hahahhaha. ::im smitten!!!:: ........damn those women :-O well. looks like im just gonna stay content with listening to his music through my earphones instead.

oh and yea, the interview went smoooth :D i even made them laugh. ...................

ps.watch out for this space for more juicy details of the interview..right now im just gonna drown myself in self-pity for not being able to watch mr jason mraz at esplanade music hall.
Someone special blogged @ 7:05 PM l

waiting for momster dearest to finish her prayers and then we are going out to MAKAN. ..at least i will make her go out to makan with me. gmum didnt cook today. ever since we bought that cable thingie, she's been watching indonesian channels all day long. she has forgotten she has grandchildren to feed :)

you know, i can see it now; conversation between a persistent mother and her equally persistent but much more charming daughter over lunch at delifrance: whether or not its a good idea that the mother tags along to the daughter's interview.

yea sure i need her support. but that dont mean her presence. ..(: i love momster and she loves me too but she only makes me more nervous. you get what im saying? haha.

oh did i tell you, i woke up this morning with her poking me with the sharp end of the huge, bulky envelope. what envelope? im talking about the enrolment package to nyp(nursing).

i didnt need that this morning..... it was 8am. hello? so i turned over and grunted something which could only mean go away. unless she had breakfast for me, i didnt see no reason to be up so early. anyway i already knew what was gonna be inside the package. ryan had filled me in.

medical check up, thats what im saying. they want my urine sample, an xray of my chest, other physical checkup..(you do remember i detest tests..ANY FORM OF TEST.)..and i just found out that if im enroling in nursing, they would need to examine me for

hepatitis b.

i wouldnt say im scared of needles la. im just scared of them piercing through me and attacking my helpless vein. isnt there a less violent alternative? ..violent is such a..violent word. shudder.

and then im also equally scared of the results. i know i shouldnt be but this is just another one of those days..... vacationing at paranoia-topia.

where on earth do i come up with such ridiculous names............

OF COURSE. that is if i DONT ace my interview tomorrow. then ill have to do nursing(which i have no violent objections against, note that). if i ACE the interview, get into DMC, then skip the blood-sucking-needle-piercing!

okay hold it. i cant believe this. i cant believe me. i cant believe im letting a stupid needle stand between me and my passion to help others. i suck so bad.. :( im so fecking ashamed of myself!!!

my face could use a good kicking. ..as soon as i have my lunch. ..anyone? noratiah? i know youre on a kicking frenzy :)
Someone special blogged @ 4:45 PM l

FECK!!

Dear Nurlela Bte Mohd Ismail

Application for Admission to the Diploma in Media and Communication

Thank you for applying to the Diploma in Media and Communication (DMC) course at Singapore Polytechnic (SP) and for taking the writing test on Monday 13 March 2006.

You have been short-listed for an interview. The details of the interview are as follows:

Interview

Date: Friday 17th March 2006
Time: 10:30 am
Venue: School of Business
General Office
Block T19, Level 4


fdsjh sjdhgowi vnxmn sg0943043-942jgflm kjsg F!! i knew it when i checked my mail just now... 34 new messages(dont ask). LAST NIGHT IT WAS 33. i could feel the blood draining from my face.......... tell me its some chain mail; that if i dont forward it to 40 other unfortunate people, a sadako-lookalike would crawl out off my computer screen. ANYTHING.

i realised that was a stupid thing to wish for........ i cried with relief when i found out it was a letter about the admission to the diploma of media and comm.

then i cried again when i found out it was a letter about the admission to the diploma of media and comm.

okay breathe. in. out. in. out. whee.

..do NOT get lost AGAIN. PLEASE. cannot afford to be late for an interview. ......well at least i know now where block T19 is. ahha. hahha. ..i think.

yet i am still recovering from this, so..

what if i they see im a fraud! not that i am! but what if they think i am!? i always give bad first impressions! BAD.

...shit 10.30am thats early.

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 2:26 PM l

today, after having lunch with lina at KITCHEN SPOT, i met ruoyan at the library and we chilled out there. YEA :) great company, man. good read too.

i picked out a book at random because i like the cover and so far im liking it. its titled flipside by tina reilly(reilly..try that with a cowboy accent!). im never good at picking out books.... eh shouldn a good writer know a good book when he pick one? or is that a psyhic?

this book is gonna take me weeks to finish. it's almost as thick as my longman dictionary. i could break a baby's skull with it and then leave it to ryan to throw the body in the bush :)

inside joke. ..i hope you dont think we're sadistic assholes with some inexplicable conspiracy against babies. gawdd no! i dont know about ryan but im NOT! hahahhaha..

JOKE xD please. ryan is one of the sweetest, most fun loving and considerate person i know. her surname is ong. hahahahhahaha!!!!!! ..again, an inside joke. kind of.

wasted $3.60 for a ice latte which DIDNT TASTE AT ALL LIKE LATTE. that malay guy cant make a decent coffee even if his life depends on it. what a shame!

i bumped into MOMSTER on the way home. haha so weird. hahhaa. she was on the way to work and..ive never actually noticed exactly how SMALL she is :D okay, petite. she is so cute. and her scarf doesnt match her clothes. ....again.

lina was at BUGIS, on retail therapy.. feck her(got this from the book i was telling you about :D i think it means fuck!!). ive been meaning to go there. the new shopping centre? SOMEONE'S been telling me about it. i dont mean shopping exactly.... i wanna check out the place. sounds like a shutterbug's paradise.

ive been checking my mail like never before....... which is true. i NEVER check my mails.. its usually junk. but i suppose now that ive DELETED MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT, i wont be getting those 'so and so has updated their blogs' notices anymore! yippee!

i hope i dont get any mails from sp.................spare me the stress of having to decide between nursing or media. I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT BOTH okay. i am also passionate about having the luxury of NOT WORRYING what to pick.

okay confession time: i always develop a bad case of inferiority complex whenever im around people..... like during that writing test.. where do i stand among all these other..punctual candidates??? call it lack of self-confidence, or too much thinking, or one way ticket to paranoia-topia. BUT REALLY. this inferiority complex shit i tend to have can and will lead to even more devastating effect.............

at least if im in nursing, i dont have to worry about people judging me. because the whole point of the course is helping others. its just you and the patient. and you dont have to give a damn what anybody else thinks. im trying to save lives here!!

media is all about the mass, the people.......... so is nursing. only less intimidating. IM THE ONE WITH THE NEEDLE, HELLO? ahhahhaha.
okay.

pfft. i havent gotten any mail yet! im worrying too soon hahahha. sheesh. for all i know, those sp lecturers have taken one look at my paper and go, "we'll pass!" not necessarily a bad thing though.

feck it. IM THINKING TOO MUCH AGAIN.
Someone special blogged @ 1:04 AM l

okay. the writing test. which will determine where i will end up the next 3 years. and probably the rest of my life too. whether id be working with the media or at the hospital scrubbing old folks' backs :)

MY MOTHER insisted she came along with me. and she insisted bringing LINA ALONG TOO. "so i have a company on the journey home," she reasoned.

OH. GOD.

im not embarrassed being seen with my mother and my sister around the compound of my potential-poly and be caught by potential-polymates. but i am embarrassed that she still regards me as if i was still in my training bra!

"you think id get lost!? in singapore?!" i looked at her with incredulity, not sure if i wanted to laugh or cry at this absurdity. (hey i pulled a mraz! -meaning i spontaneously rhymed...?)

so my mother and my sister were in the bus with me to singapore poly........ they were with me breathing down my neck when i was IN singapore poly, gazing at the map, trying to figure out where i was and how to get to block T19.

"ask for directions," momster said, poking my arm.

"no," i said firmly, poking her back. "i can do this."

then lina got all philosophical saying something along this line, "when lost, ask for directions. dont act all proud."

i asked her politely(though i was fuming inside) to look around. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. it's their hols, you see. and i was right that i could figure this out. because i did. after taking and alighting buses, i was at the destination. ..okay i was the bus stop outside the destined venue (:

after reciting all sorts of emergency numbers to her and convincing her that i wont get lost and that no one was going to abduct me, they finally left. and i finally found block T19 MLT 8 with the help of a nice security guard.

aaaaand it was 3.36pm.

36 minutes late.

yup. i was a star-karat of the day.

i got in, and i didnt expect so many students to be there. so many very punctual students. not saying that i had expected them to be as late as me, no. ..wow. so many interested in media and communications. of all these people, only the selected few will be called in for interviews.

will i be one of them? cause im sure now, being 36 minutes late, that its not actually adding to my chances.

i could feel so many inquisitive eyes on me.. "i am so sorry," i kept mouthing as i walked down the big steps on wobbly legs towards this nice-looking lady. dont fall, i told myself. the last i need was attracting more attention to myself.

she seemed to be in a rush though, the lady, as she steered me to a seat. the very front seat. she was talking very fast and i had trouble catching up. she placed a paper on the table, said something about, "you have to make do with the remaining time left." and then left me alone.

i zipped my bag, wincing at exactly how loud the noise was making. so i slowed down. zipping one at a time, if you get what im trying to say here. but it was taking an awful long time so i just went RIP.

took out a pen and at the same time start reading the instructions. it asked to write about one recent event that i have read in the news of papers and briefly described how it left an impression on me. something like that.

shit.

i hadnt been reading the newspaper religiously because my mother hasnt been buying them. (blame it on the poor mother.) but everybody knows about the story of the supposedly missing child named nonoi whose decomposing body was found days later... (my condolences to victim's family.)

so i wrote about that. and i wrote how it had left such a personal impact on me.

i started writing straightaway? this not the ego talking but i was writing very fast(had all the practise while re-writing drafts after drafts.) was trying to keep up with my fleeting thoughts that were all shooting out like little popcorns from microwave thats left unshut.

my eyes were fixed on the paper but from my peripheral vision, i could see the guy 2 seats away from me glancing my way. reflectively i looked. just a short glimpse. i was in a middle of something here!!

he was frowning slightly at me! i realised i was writing very NOISILY! the pen was going scritch scritchy scritch against the surface(its called friction.). so i slowed down my pace, writing one letter at a time.

gawddd this is ridiculous! i dont have the whole day! i quickened my speed, feeling a little superior with this step of defiance i had just risked. hah!! take that!!!

..i hope we dont end up classmates.

then my phone went TUT TUT. TUT TUT.

i went, "SHIT SHIT. SHIT SHIT."

like a pro, i slipped my left hand in my bag and blindly groped for my phone. at the same time, i was still writing. felt it, inched it out to see who had messaged and maybe replied with a "BUGGER OFF!", when the lady cleared her throat and shook her head at me.

i said my 28462th sorry and could only pray that the phone wont bleep or worst..ring.

i realised there was no one who came in later than me. damn. i watched as students one by one hand up their papers and left.

i finished my last sentence, counted the number of words like the lady told me(i think?) and stopped. wow! that didnt take more than 20 minutes..

THANK GOD I TURNED TO THE NEXT PAGE. because there was question number two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Tell us in not more than 150 to 200 words why we should admit you to this course."

ive been dreading this question. i cant come off sounding convincing without exaggerating........!! thats why lawyer is at the bottom of my what-i-want-to-be list, a notch before housekeeper. aahah, just exaggerating :)

..SEE WHAT I MEAN!?

soooo i only managed to write 68 words. ..maybe 58, because i had a feeling i counted the same line twice. its hard, when your finger is trembling. and your stomach is growling..argh that was embarrassing, how the growl was amplified to a thousand because the lecture hall was DEAD SILENT.

i was glad it was over. it was the longest half an hour of my life. home journey was better because there wasnt any butterflies in my stomach...and no annoying mother at my heels, reminding me to hitch up my jeans and wear a nicer thong next time, not those faded underwear.

ruoyan my BUDDY said, "be confident. youre talented." and i cant help but ponder..is this talent?

the numerous paragraphs of words above..produced by a 16-year-old with a creative flair for writing or just it happen that you got her on a good day? or maybe it has something to do with the fact that i have this outlet to be random..knowing that i can throw anything here without having to worry.

its a whole different story if youre writing for the media..right? i cant be as random, can i? i have a task at hand, a sort of message to convey. and if standards are not met, im doomed.

.......NOW IM JUST WAITING FOR AN EMAIL FROM THEM. said they would notice me via email by this week. and then an interview. WORST.

i have a feeling these following 4-5 days are not gonna be pretty................
Someone special blogged @ 12:45 AM l

...ive got a crush! on a CORNETTO BOY. HAHA. okay. before you start visualing a guy in a huge ice-cream-cone-outfit with a hole for his head, STOP.

it was just my sisters and my mother. my grandparents were away for some..dinner? at a relatives place. yup. you should have seen the four of us when they left :) we were like, "YIPPEE!"

i turned on parking lot pimp on the stereo in the living room. my insides were jumping with anticipation. we never used the huge expensive radio cum cd/cassette player in the living room because a)it belongs to my selfish but very cute grandmother hence forbidden(because she is selfish, in case you havent get it) and b)its very loud and my grandparents are not really huge fan of loud music.

.....i could just summarise by saying we never used it because of my grandparents....... oh but you know me! im all about them words!

so i popped plp and we just went crazy. then there came a knock on the door. ...............lots of things went through our heads: the police! the nighbours!! worst! grandparents!!!!~ but momster peeped through the..peephole and... it was some guy selling ice cream. we estimated him to be nineteen?

we took turns looking through and going 'oooh' for many obvious reasons..............................

"shall we open?"
"heck yea."

so we did. the guy must had been shocked, seeing us, grinning like hormonal teenagers. and i dont exactly mean my sisters and me :) we ended up buying a BOX OF CORNETTO ICE CEAM. that makes it 24 cones of cornetto. and i dont mean those mini ones okaay.. :D

i had a fleeting image of my grandparents jumping out of the trolley-freezer-thingie-where-they-put-the-ice-ceam when the guy opened the lid. then i laughed it off and pounced on the box the guy was holding out.

oh my god xD LIFE IS WONDERFUL. and he is gorgeous :) come drop by anytime.

we closed the door, ahhhhh.. momster was like, "$26 down the drain just like that. and we didnt even leave the house." i asked if she was regretting. we could always return the box and get the money back. i would do the apologising :)

"it's okay. the guy is handsome." THE AFRO QUEEN HAS SPOKEN!!! hahahaha.

i could use a cornetto right about now :) ....to calm me nerves. for this writing test which im dreading :-O i hope i wont have to experience the classic case of writer's block in the middle of it. i hope my pen ink wont run dry. i hope i wont get lost and be late because that would really really suck.

dont wanna be a star-karat. hahahahha. that was a famous term used by us back in peirce(wahh..back in peirce seh.). it means getting all the attention so that makes you a 'star' ..but for the wrong reasons. BECAUSE YOURE LATE la. if you still dont get it yet.

why am i still here?
Someone special blogged @ 12:04 PM l

my uncle called up, asking for my 'father's tombstone number'? ..i was in a middle of a snooze, so i wasnt really thinking straight. i was quiet, trying to get my head around the question. but he totally misinterpreted my silence.

"i know.. it's been, what, 5 years now? it doesnt get any easier...." he said soothingly.

..what?

"512," i heard myself saying. and i heard he say thanks and -click. then i put my phone to silent mode and went back to sleep..

then the other shoe dropped. ................shit. 512??? where did those digits come from!?!??!! so in a frantic, i called my uncle up..only not sure who exactly that was. i mean, i have..*counts* 8 uncles, okay.

thank god i didnt need to call up every 8 uncle asking if they were at the cemetary. my phone beeped and i immediately picked it up.

"..........512 is someone else's da..."

..soorrrry laaaa.. sheesh kebab :p

i......am working on another story!!!!!!!! wheee im on a roll la. nyeheheh. guess i would need all the practise? seeing that i have a writing test on monday? at singapore poly? which im dreading because ive never performed well in situations where i feel im being judged? you know? and why am i writing with question marks at the end?

in no time, most of my relatives found out that i could land into media and communications and they were all talking me out of nursing as though a place in the former course is official. a week ago they were like, "oh! nursing is good!!! its very good!!"

..hypocrites!!!! :-O

im having serious second thoughts because of them..........

you dont say nursing is great and then give me a list of disadvantages and then say AGAIN that nursing is great!! thats just wrong!! youre sending mixed signals and if youre a trafic light, imagine a car wreck you'll create!!

my mind is that car wreck. ..whoa. haha. okay aherm. im saying my mind's in a turmoil.

WORST: you DO NOT say what you said and in the end tell me its my own choice. i mean, you cant say all those things and hope you havent influence me!!!! AHHHH!!

"nursing is noble..but you'll have to wipe old folk's butt..but its a noble thing."

"if i were you, id pick media. you can do so much in media! but its your own choice la."

THANK YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE COME AGAIN.

oh and one more thing..why do people look down on nursing? i dont get it.

"oh my god are you kidding nursing?! but thats good youre optimistic about it.."

.....WHAT? WHAAAT???? i mean, if i didnt like nursing i wouldnt have put it as one of my 12 choices. duh? it was the first five, in fact.

and oh i cant put up pictures! STUPID. ive got cool photos of mraz, and.. ernest sum kum hong(got it now! HAHA!) with his rebonded hair! hes gonna kill me :) but the photos are niice. not the photo of him, but how the photo is taken. you get what im saying right?

hah.

i dont know where to sleep tonight. my bed is a mess. there's absolutely no space for me to even put my leg on. this is what happen when you dont have a desk...... this is so absurb. im a budding writer for crying out loud. i guess the writer is sleeping on the couch tonight! la dee da!

oh and its funny how looks deceive. who ever said that "what you see is what you get"? that bugger lied to us la.
Someone special blogged @ 1:07 AM l

you know what? i wrote a story last night :D correction: i COMPLETED a story. this is a big because i havent been writing religiously for almost a month or two now....... so WHEE! ive still had 'it' ;) -cartwheels across the room-

i dont know what had gotten into me. but im not complaining :) there was something about last night la, which just drove me to write.

inspiration never comes punctually. when it eventually hits, it hits with no mercy. next thing i knew, i was typing in an inexplicable frenzy.. WITHOUT STOPPING. there was no STOPPING ME. i was on a roll, baby!!

im back in love :D

not only that, even hannan was weirdly inspired to write a song...said he hadnt been making his own songs either.. as much as i do not want to include his name in my entry(i always seem to have something to say about him), but this is just SOMETHING.

"you got inspired by my getting inspired by my being so called 'back in love'! its like a chain reaction."
"and im at the end of it? imagine how little energy i get..sigh."
(AH! bio!)

thursday night, the ninth of march 2006, i shall remember this like it were some holy date.

you better believe i didnt had a wink of sleep last night :D i was busy re-copying down my story onto paper. it took the whole morning(meaning from 3am til 6am) because inevitably i was editing here and there, adding more paragraph.. i had to tell myself to stop or it'd end up a frigging novel instead. and who reads novel by some teenage chick who believes the idea of cheap thrill is plucking white hairs from her mother's oily scalp.

on the subject on mother..... last night i picked mine from her workplace at toapayoh. i kind of surprised her..sitting at the stop where she usually takes her bus home, grinning like some moronic pervert(so momster SAID but i wasnt OKAY.) she wanted to take a taxi home but why waste money right?

so while waiting for the bus 163 which wass a BITCH, we kind of lapsed into a very interesting conversation. im not sure how but we were talking about boyfriends.. my afromom told me, she had 3 failed relationships before marrying my dad.

and by relationships, i dont mean the current definition of relationships among naive, inexperienced teenagers, which typically only last a couple of months..if they're lucky. im talking about serious, deep relationship. yeaaars of loving the other truly, madly, deeply.

momster almost got married to some guy named jumat. ... "he worked at PUB," she told me..(did i hear a hint of pride???!) "but he passed away before we got married."

momster told me, gmum and gdad werent really into my late dad last time, because he was always bringing her out til really late at night.......... "he took me on his bike to catch movies, then dinner to all sorts of makan places.. sometimes brought me to watch his band gigs.."

..okay. wow.

she told me to pick a boyfriend who..not say pious la, but who knows whats right and whats wrong. "dont pick a boyfriend who rides a bike, who takes you out so late aand has a band," she added.

:-O NO FAIR.

said she would punch me if she saw me on some guy's bike. ..i take that as a sign of affection :) "what if it were MY bike?" i ventured cheekily. and momster raised two fists in my face.
Someone special blogged @ 4:36 PM l

cousin lili asked, "so you gonna attched yourself to any cca in poly?"

"YES. DANCE."

syak at the background: "HAHAHAHAHHA."

me :-O

"what kind of dance?" lili continued. not a single face muscle faltered...... i guess she's got all the practice, being a teacher.

"obviously not malay dance," i snapped scathingly, sticking my tongue out at syak. (note: i do not have any conspiracy against our malay dance. the insult was personally directed at my fat sister.)

"why did you laugh? ela can dance what," lina came in to my defense..a little late but better late than never. "all she needs is lots and lots and lots of practise."

later she kept telling me that there wasnt any hidden insult between the lines.............

we were in the car when suddenly syak exclaimed, "buses are like cows."

there was a pause as everyone in the car processed this little bit of random information..............

then lina turned and banged her head a couple of times against the window screen. she couldnt believe the words that had came out of her little sister's mouth.

and never before had i felt that this was the most appropriate moment to go :-O

"that's a very interesting observation," lili said cautiously, as if choosing her words carefully. she had a straight face throughout! she's amazing!! "what makes you say that?"

"because they're huge," syak said as a matter of fact-ly.

i threw myself on lina's shoulders and cried. more banging.

i mean, such, coming from a girl who's gonna turn twelve on the 29th of september???? what is she, still in her diapers sucking on her thumb???

did i say 29th? i meant the 26th. uhm. ........16th?

oh yea im letting my gary go. its old anyway..okay i know ive had him for less than 2 years but i told you, its a second hand so god knows.. and the strings are rusty...

hahah when i told noratiah im selling it away, and hoping to get a $99 because its not worn down and it doesnt smell funny, she was like:

"if its not worn down and doesnt smell funny..then why do you want a new guitar? if you play crappy dont blame it on the guitar."

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

hey i dont play crappy ohkay. that was insulting, noreo! urmph! hahaha. then i told her, im selling it away because its not a good guitar.

"then why would someone trade it for 99 bucks?"

...........i was hoping they wouldnt know. like i did when i got it?! HHAHAH!

i made a stupid, obvious mistake for getting gary because a good guitar has strings which are very close to the fretboard. so you wont have to press so hard and then hurt your fingers :D

gary has strings which are......not close to the fretboard. i cant even slip my pick in; it'll slip off. haha.

PS its not that im ungrateful for having gary. i am! i swear! you know i love gary.... he's been with me through thick and thin.. through times of frustration and i play him hard. through happy times and i strum him and sing my song.........

but im letting him go anyway :-O

im getting a new one :D preferably an acoustic...a red one :) ive got a name for it already! thanks to nurool. haha. stitch, gary, now GAB!

oh and gab costs eleven..HUNDRED smackafriggingroos.

1 1 0 0 ............four digits!!!!!!!!!~

im getting a simple acoustic guitar which cost less than $400 :) decent price. im calling it gary the second!!!

hannan was crazy SHOCKED when he found out i named my guitar gary.. i dont get it. he named his classical MELISA. EW.

him:"as in GARY MCGUIRE?"
me:"..thats jerry la."
"oh...as in GARY MCCALISTER?"
"as in gary, spongebob's pet sea snail that purrs. now let this be our dirty little secret."
"oh! that GARY."
"yea.."
"gary gary gary."

oh and im getting a mic for my comp soon. and maybe a new set of speakers too. yessiree :D hannan seems to have so much fun recording and sending me silly voice clips of him singing come what may.......

"..until my dyyyyyyying......DAY~"

anyways ive told noratiah id sing sappy ryan cabrera songs for her :D............. hahaha i wouldnt even let her call me, yet i wanna sing a song for her..?

imma 'complex being', am i not. noreo? :D
Someone special blogged @ 10:51 PM l

know what ive been doing? ive been reading previous posts from previous blogs(shawtiz-rule.blogspot). AND I LIKE IT, MAN!!! HAHA!

i was still a baby to an extent; some of the entries were ..yuck. especially the beginning. there was no paragraphing and i write lyke tis, u noe? and some were LiKE tHIS I mEAn WHAt THE hELL IS tHAT? and after every sentence there was a LOL.

then gradually, almost magically, i transformed... cehhh. hahaha. i mean, i still wrote with abbreviations but.........i was so cold and bitter!! and dismissive YET with a touch of humour. how did i do it???


if blardy nasim calls them out
first thing monday morningg,
i swear
im gonna burn his house down.

okie mayb not house la.
im not gonna let his kids and wife suffer
just cuz of himm!

livinng wit himm is already punishment enuff.

how abt..
im gonna set his paants on fire.
nyehehhe.

whos wimmmeee?!

cant wait till tue.


and another one:


i felt like slashing jeya using those scissors.
haha a lil violent ther but heckk.
i hate it whn she goes like,
"sit up straight! later what if mr nasim or the hods
walk passed and see y'all sleeping?"
and
"mr juraimi shld b making his rounds
right abt now. e1, pls behave!"
all those shitts.. -rolls eyes.

shes not reminding us.
shes reminding herself.
u get what im tryna say?
she warns us not cuz she darsen wan us to get into trouble.
she warns us SO THAT SHE darsen get into trouble.

i find that really amusing.

u shld have seen the fear on her face
whn mrs sng interrupted the class.
turned out she wanted the replies for the ppsg thingiee.

jeya scared of hods!!
-sticks out tongue.

jeya is soo annoying.

our extra period lasts only for 20 minutes.
so our dismissal time evry monday is 2.35pm.
but tat jeyaa i tell u,
insisted tat the lesson shld end at 2.50pm.
what the fuudge?!
can u explain such behaviour?!

"i'm doing tis for ur own good, class.
im not doing tis for myself.
darsen make any difference what time i let u off,
i still have the same pay!"

and suhandy went like,
"darsen make any difference right?
so let us go early! u still have the same pay."

and she was like, a lil quiet and thn,
"suhandy. that was insulting."

yeh. u screaming is insulting my ears too!!!

u must b thinking we're always giving jeya a hard time.
have u ever wondered;
mayb its more of the other way round?


i was so......horrible. dont try this at home. ..hey i love this one:


watched this ermm mly movie
on leftanan adnan during mt.
had to do kefahaman after tat.
one of the qns was,
"what can u learn frm the movie?"
of course it was in mly la.
i translated it for u. ahhaha.
and aspho and i were like the last to hand in.
so anyhow tikamtikam.
i wrote,
"kita mesti ada keyakinan diri dan mesti mahu
berjuang. tapi, kalau tetap gagal, itu sudah takdir."
translation:
"we must have determination and the will.
but thn, if u still fail, thn tats fate."
(:
cikguu majidahh will cry whn she reads tat.


hhahahahha!!! MAN, I MISS SCHOOL SO MUCH. sigh..school. ....the reason why i had such juicy blog entries. compared to the present, the current pathetic lifestyle that i am in now!!

THANK GOD ITS TEMPORARY! cant wait to start poly xD
Someone special blogged @ 10:30 PM l

HAHA. im talking about a pink tee with OTAKU imprinted in the front. and while at it, throw in a pair of PINK FLIP FLOPS. AH. and..who doesnt love cotton candys? :D

NUROOL. must watch the video(geek in the pink)!! HAHA. rocks, i tell you. mraz has this huge headspeakers on and he's dancing(very lamely).. kindar like THE BOTH OF US when we were listening to the song down orchard road that friday!!!!!!! HAHA.

okay. :) excuse me while i go watch tht video for the 58th time.

i watched big momma's house 2 with sriee todaaayyy! great family movie :) I love great family movies.... and great company! i miss sriee la. and she bought me this funky bookmark with my name on it. ......

at first when she said she bought me a funky bookmark with my name on it, i imagined a..you know, a normal paper bookmark with my name written with fancy letterings and colours on it. BUT NO!

its some metal-thingie and the end is bent so pretty into the letters L-E-L-A. then you could slip it in your book like a..well, like a bookmark!

i showed momster..she thought its something you put in your hair. .......and she slipped it on in her hair and it almost disappeared amidst her afro. i had to use a metal scanner in order to find it.

oh yea. we bought the movie tickets..then we headed for bistro delifrance. she reminded me of the last time we ate there..... "you carved out weijie's initials from two slices of tomato," she said, making me wince a little.

..ah. those were the days, man, those were the days!

anyway, we were ushered to a table and the lady presented us with menus and announced the soup for the day. ...uh. lets just say i prefer my corn on ice kacang than swimming in some liquid..?

we studied the menu and we laughed. i was like, sriee what are we doing here? i mean, its so pricey. haha! honestly we had no intention of eating there at all. we just stood outside, and the lady walked up and said, "table for two?" so. in other words, out of spontaneity and its cheap thrill? ..and starvation. :D

we made up our mind and decided on.....okay i dont know what the dish is called because its not in english HAHA. the price got us crazy.. then i turned to the other side of the menu and stifled another giggle.

"bad news, sriee.. that's only the food.. we havent include drinks yet." i pointed out an iced coffee latte cost $4.60.

"the cheapest is distilled water at $2.40," sriee observed. "i might as well get them at the school lab for free."

"you might have to get through mrs jeya first," i cautioned.

okay get this.. when we finally made up our minds what to eat, sriee just had to tell me, "the movie's gonna start in 10 minutes time." i gawked at her, completely thrown.

"1.55pm? not 2.55?"

she checked the ticket, which was in her wallter which was in her bag and she took quite an awful long time because her movements were clumsy in an effort to not pee in her pants in laughter.....

whereas i was at the background, hypervantilating going, "you for real 1.55pm? why didnt you tell me before hand? then what on earth are we doing here, sriee oi!"

yea it was 1.55pm. ......and we were already late. but that was the least of our problem because.........how do we get out?

the lady was approaching us, all smiles, ready to take our orders and i managed a lame smile. its hard, trying to keep a straight face. sriee was looking the other direction, her whole body racking in silent guffaw. OH MY GOD. HERE SHE COMES.

"can i take your order?" the lady beamed, pen poised over a writing pad.

and that was the fourth time i said, sorry..not yet. when the lady walked away, her body language screamed, "ARGH. indecisive brats!!"

"okay in order to look completely normal, we would have to go out one at a time," i said in a harsh whisper. sriee nodded firmly, yet there was still that same twinkle in her eyes like the other time we spent over 20-minutes outside the school library, not daring to come in because akmal was inside reading the papers.(inside joke)

.......we couldnt decide who should leave first. actually neither of us wanted to leave second.. HAHA. anyway the place was crawling with waitresses, and waitresses had never been so intimidating......

in retrospect, i had no clue why we were so worked up over something so lame, so trivial!!! i mean, we could just excuse ourselves, but trust me, that option never crossed our muddled-with-crazy-amusement minds.......

but we managed to escape :D we jolted out from the back, trying to look like people do this all the time; walk into cafes and sit down not ordering anything and then get up and leave.

jackasses, we are :D but it was so fun. CHEAP THRILL? FREE more like.
Someone special blogged @ 10:32 PM l

this is it. aaaahhhhhhh!!!!! the poly postings...... its freaking online, and it seemed every single person knew about it(including hannan!!) except me!!! this just shows how much of an ignorant asshole i am.

got nurool to thank :D or else right now, in some other parallel universe, id be sleeping :):)

and oh i cant believe i still had time to drop by macs and bought myself and my gmum breakfast..

and oh i cant believe that the lady didnt put any sausage in my mcmuffin sausage with eggs.................

and oh YOU wont believe.. last night hannan was, "could you give a wake up call? and vice verse..." i wanted to go NO. because that would mean a wake up call for ME for HIM. get it? haha. but im NICE. and crap.. he only picked up after 3 missed calls. and voicemail. i hate voicemails.

........OKAY IMMA GO CHECK THE ONLINE THINGIE...

........
.............
........................

okay ladies and gentlemen.
from now on.......
call me

NURSE LELAA.

..im not lelly mclens. im lelly mcFuckingNURSE. hahahhaa.

....you should see msn right now. 15 contacts online.....and its not even 9am!!! i bet everybody's talking to everybody. like im talking to CARISA. she got into nursing at nanyang poly too. ........wow. carisa, huh.

okay so that was what i managed to write this crazy morning. didnt get to publish because of all the drama.. right now is a different kind of drama:

Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
ERNEST AR
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
i got into nursing at np ar
- e r n - says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
IMMA FRIGGING NURSE, HELLO
- e r n - says:
then not changin course?
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
never mind la.
- e r n - says:
gaga
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
i can save lives
- e r n - says:
let me lmao at u
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
OH SHUDDUP
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
I WONT SAVE YOURS
- e r n - says:
..
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
:P
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
come on where's the humour
- e r n - says:
NOOOOOOOOOOO
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
nyahaha
- e r n - says:
u confirm dun wna change ar
- e r n - says:
nurse so hard
- e r n - says:
lol
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
how you know?
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
you EX NURSE AR
- e r n - says:
YES
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
HAHAHAHHAHA
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
(my turn)
- e r n - says:
lol
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
wahh
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
why hard?
- e r n - says:
i mean like nursing...
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
wha?
- e r n - says:
nevermind
- e r n - says:
lol
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
haiya
- e r n - says:
geez thought u can see me here at sp
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
HAHA
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
dont want la..your hair..eeyerr
- e r n - says:
its rebonded
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
I KNOW. I CAN TELL. eh. curls nicer
- e r n - says:
lala
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
you dont think so?
- e r n - says:
i like my hair =P

talk about delusional!!! hHAHA! i mean i should know. i have crazy curls okay. eh no. i mean, its his curls that attracted me to him. last time la. how many chinese guys have curls, you tell me.

eh..how did we talk about his hair!?!

I WAS COOL WITH NURSING and he made me have second thoughts. im weighing the pros and cons right now

okay no im not. i dont wanna think about it right now la........... not only am i ignorant im bloody complacent. what kindar NURSE will i make?!!

okay now i seriously need to rethink that decision of appealing for another course. i mean, this is not for my own good. this is for everyone's own sake. im a walking disaster la!

i need faith in myself.........................!!!!

i bought jasom mraz mr. a-z. i know. i cant believe it. only yesterday i bought ryan cabrera you stand watching. now im putting him aside and grooving along mraz' GEEK IN THE PINK. nurool's HOOKED TOO. MuahahHA.

the power of a geek in the pink :-O

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 5:35 PM l

i went out today!! ah! hahaha!!!! hysteria.. xD i know it may not seem like a biggie but to me, it is! it is! it's such a beautiful day today.

i lied. .......it was scorching madness outside!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!! what am i doing out of my lovely, cool, cosy house in this crazy thursday with the sun glaring down my back!?

to get my jason mraz mr. a-z album of course. ive waited all my life..to cross this line.. i mean, its been more than 4 months, baby. more than 4 months. finally im getting my hands on it.

so i thought.

"im sorry but jason mraz mr. a-z has sold out..."

"...oh what a shame," i said, my voice came out more of a squeak. translation: stab me, just frigging stab me!!!! i walked out.

2 seconds later, i was back inside. "how about stand watching by ryan cabrera? do you have that?" i smiled. i saw a flicker of hope....oh, no thats just the lights. i thought better and resumed a poker-faced expression.

if that was sold out too, id..id..... .......id be really sad. i mean i could have diiiied in that heat!! :-O hahahha.

thankfully, they had a copy of you stand watching xD i went home a happy girl, skipping in the sun. ..happy, and sweating..heh. and caffeinated!!! i had two enormous cups of iced coffee! i couldnt have any at home because ..there isnt any! argh.

anyway! WHEE. jason mraz rocks but ryan cabrera is hotter. there's this picture of him..wearing absolutely nothing...................

i wish. HAHA! he is totally nekid(naked) except for a tie and his classical guitar covering his manhood :) HAHA. ...........eh i hate ashlee simpson ar!

i went online just now like around 5.3opm ish but. NOBODY was online! i was like, whadupp widdat?? weird weird weird. and then faisal came.......

i forgot how i met him..i think it was through asila's friend....long story la. we didnt really hit it off very well. we added each other on msn but we never talked at all! haha! but our love for the same music brought us together!!

it was bizarre, really. it went like, you listen to daphne loves derby? me too! i mean, who else i know listens to daphne loves derby? who even knew of such a band!??!

turned out.......he knows eldwen laurensi. the eldwen laurensi. haha! "i owe him 30cents la. haha!" he said. and and and he was there at braddel westlake secondary with us for our o levels malay oral!!! ..........if i had known.

our convo is so sardine..i mean, its just so relax..........i dont know why. we even have our own nicknames: he's stabby mcknife and im lelly mclens. ..go figure!

i guess this what happens when you put 2 different people with yet totally common interests, together.. (he loves spanish toooo!!!)

people always turned out to be more than we bargained for.
Someone special blogged @ 7:52 PM l

so vulgar!!!!

we were playing scrabble agaain. and lina got stuck. she had no vowels to start with..hence almost giving up. then i enlightened her: "when there's a will..there's a way."

and we started emptying the rest of the alphabets from the bag until we found an 'e'.

..i need a haircut. my hair grows at a highly.. generous rate? :-O

eh i wonder if you guys recognise me by my msn nick.. :D i can tell nurool's online because..her nick has her name on it. and shafiq always tYpEs HiS NIcK LiKE tHIs. emy's usually quirky and noratiah almost never change hers. but i change mine all the time.

yet ive got people coming up to me saying, "i knew it's you!" ..well okay only one. he reckoned he is the only one who knows my 'nick style'. my wha?

..yea score!! ive got my own u-nick(unique!) 'style'!

either that or im just predictable.. nah, he just knows me too well la.

this is yet another random totally uninspired blog entry. well i havent actually done anything fun that's cool enough to be publicised in the cyber world. only humiliating details during moments of disgrace which id share with you only in your dreams.

well i made a list of cd albums im gonna get :D which is very ambitious of me la. i mean, there's over a dozen cds and im not exactly earning bucks monthly.

and movies! so many good movies!!! :-O

you know..now that im recovering, im thinking of a new lifestyle.... no more late nights. no more!! im gonna rise up and shine and..and.....

come on, surely there is something to do.

i just need to go out la, period. preferably without the momster. i enjoy her company though just that she sometimes pulls me down with her :-O

i wanna go to the beach :D ...........i wanna go to the zoo!!!

i wanna go to the playground and play swings. walk from one end of bishan park to another. imagine the millions of pictures i can take.

yea. i wanna go to the park :D reconcile with nature and its beauty, its simplicity, its earthiness. dont forget monkeys in the trees.

but first i need a new wardrobe. ..okay so where's the link in that?
Someone special blogged @ 11:41 PM l

JustLELA


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