but today is an exception.

AHHHH:D to think i wasn't looking forward to my 18th. because birthdays are full of disappointments (but it gets easier as we grow older). today my lovies(affectionately known as my fucks) threw me a suprise &very advanced birthday,

they were good. becaause i totally didnt see it coming :'( though it was a little suspicious when Zaf urged me out of the living room &started bossing me to get the slides done. &while i was doing them slides, she stopped me &Aisya literally dragged me out.

alar let's start from the beginning:DDDDDD

it was a really hot Saturday luh. i was like urghhhhhhhhhhstupidICA. we had promised to meet at Kama's place at 3.30pm to complete our skit/drama/abnormalpsychICA. i was late because the goddamn bus took forever:P was sooooo groggy. &hungry. &p'ed off because one of my memory cards fucked up on me:'( i didnt show it but i was so bumped. all the pictures in that memory card GONE. oh my photos:'(

anyways.

technical fucks dealt w/& after like a million takes, scene1 was shot. was so relieved we managed to keep all in one memory card(Aisya's sacrifice...). to celebrate, i helped myself w/the indian rojak Kama's dad had left on the table for us. tak tau malu:D i grabbed a plate &a fork &started stuffing my face. not long before the rest pigged in.

then i remembered being kicked out from the living room &having ordered to edit some slides from our presentation. so i did lor. i swear i had NO IDEA that out there Kama was preparing the table. there i was doing the slides, surreptitiously logged on to my msn account using her msn........

while at it, suddenly Zaf told me to stop. asked me to go outside. i was like korang dah kenape................. suspicion crept up on me. i began stalling. Aisya dragged me out of the room into the darkened living room.

WHY ARE THE LIGHTS OFF?????????? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE'S KAMA??? WHY'S THERE CANDLES &A CAKE ON THE TABLE? WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY HAIR, AISYA. ..wait a minute...

then

"SURPRISE! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!"

"advanced!" Zaf corrected.

:OOOOO dumbfounded.(inside joke)

they started singing happy birthday &i started tearing. it was so overwhelming:'( thank god the lights were still off. &thank god i recover fast:P the lights went back on &so did my cool front.

blew out the candles. cleared away the rojak:P took bad pictures:PP cut the cake...

"let me feed you," Zaf said.

hoh i've seen this before..........

"let me feed you!" Zaf had said to Eera on her birthday. instead of going into her mouth, the cake went all over her face.

"no thanks," i said. "i don't want cake on my face."

"no luh i won't."

"make sure."

she fed me. tried to capture it but didn't happen. 2nd attempt. but instead of feeding ME, she fed herself. i was like -> -_-!! so was busy being annoyed &

that was when Aisya lunged forward with some bits of cake in her hands &smeared it on my face. abusing my vulnerability!!!:O retaliated. tried to! everyone made a mad dash screaming &staying out of reach when they saw me reaching for my slice.

more cakes on face(mine!). was a bitch to remove:P couldnt finish eating my slice though because we had to move on to scene2:at the playground.

instead of a video, we made this scene a snapshot instead:) it was fun as balls. ive just spent the last 2hours combining all the shots together, &making it into one big story. like a 10-minute movie. quite fun. though tedious as fuck:'( but the end of it, satisfaction, baby..

my very first advanced birthday surprise:)(hover &click)

i've never liked surprises. but today was an exception:)
Someone special blogged @ 11:06 PM l

i realise i like guys w/kuyu eyes.... it's a malay word luh hor. uhm. it means tired, mellow eyes? no. sad eyes? not really. small? not quite right. fuck luh look how my vocab is reduced to nothingness :'( oh well kuyu eyes are eyes like Mario Vasquez:D



kuyu eyes are common during attachment.........ah but it's induced. /thinks Harith. oh those fucked up kuyu eyes. /comes back to earth. Mario V has naturally squinty eyes:DDD so's the rapper, kindar.

seems just like yesterday...it was first day of sem1. before that was attachments(ward37lovin), &before that, exam. that was first year lei. now. second year..attachment(ward44pleasebenice), &exams after that.....6more weeks if i'm not wrong? minus 3weeks attachment..not much time to study. sigh! this is real :'(

i've been enjoying this week like it's my last:D especially Thursday. laughed til i teared. never have i cried over chicken before.... thanks for the laugh, girls.

this is the first time in blogging history that i hesitate so many times... just typing the previous paragraphs took me ages. typing. then backspacing. typing. then backspacing. idk luh.

but a relative's over right now as i type :) she's my mother's cousin aka bestfriend. she brought along her little niece which is such a doll<3 doesn't matter that she saw me butt naked when Killer forgot to shut the door when she left the room &the curious 9-year-old peeped in. i was on the swirly twirly chair w/just a shirt &undies.

poor thing. sweet dreams tonight, kid:)


&you too.
Someone special blogged @ 7:55 PM l

Cousin Erwin &wifey kindar got back from a vacation at Switz. brought home chocolates. &you know about Switz chocolates right?:DDD oh orgasmic. you can put it in the freezer &it can be as hard as a rock but when you put it in you mouth, it melts. as if you just bought it fresh or something. i finished the whole fucking bar in 20minutes.

skali this morning i found a bar in the fridge &i was like SO HAPPY *tearful*

i got it out &realised there was a note tied around it w/a rubber band. it said: "hands off, ELA. THIS IS MY SHARE. love your sister."

how insulting. i wasn't going to EAT it right? just..you know..wasn't going to eat it........ :P DEVOUR IT more likey.

sorry for the lack of updates. not that nothing's been happening, alot's been happening but i just. feel. so. bla. anyway there's eljay:DDDDDDD don't expect so much though.. *confused*

p'ed off because Lina bought my canon to some stupid event shit today w/o my permission.. hoh what's new.. i don't mind really luh, but I COULD HAVE SHOT SOMETHING TODAY if she hadn't brought it. because i went to the airport right after school to send Cousin Lili off.

TO LAS VEGAS!! *dies

for work. *BOO!!!

i love airports. too bad it's at the EAST. you know how i feel about EAST.

speaking of which. attachment starts next week!




ooh wee.

anticipating &dreading. you've heard me before. it's like a vicious cycle.
Someone special blogged @ 12:04 AM l

here's why:D + closeup(hover&click)

temptoos = temporary tattoo. a result of boredom during Param's lecture. i did one for Zafira too! lovin!!!! glad she likes them:P &for that fleeting moment, i was seriously considering being a tattoo-artist.... like, HEYY...since we muslims can't have tattoos, why not MAKE them? if they happy, i also happy:D(excellent conduct of english here, Lela..)

but Zaf reckoned it's wrong too, because in a way i'd be like encouraging. WELL. then i'll make tattoos for non-muslims:DDDD

i will share this w/Momster. see how she feels. should be awright. she has always been supportive of me &what i want to do w/my future.

.........well, actually she doesn't really say much except: "as long as you happy, i happy too"(stop it w/bad english!). that's not really supporting, more like, gasak kau Ela, asalkan kau tak menyusahkan aku sudah. or in english: whatever!just as long as you don't trouble me. ..in malay sounds funnier. idk. i think malay is a funny language. it makes anything you say sounds sarcastic &downright hilarious. don't you think???????? because i totally think so:D

okay i am getting off track :S

how's school today?:)

bio lecture is sad:( Param was like, "okay that's it for pain gate. moving on.." &i was like jolted back to earth &like what? pain gate? what about it????? i will regret this in the near future. the near future meaning final exam:post period.... :'( just like what happened when Aisya &i were revising Search. came across a mockingly familiar term but ..yo no comprendo... so we were like, "can we repeat this lecture... or idk..call up Patrick &ask him? idk..." restless &clueless &very very regretting not paying attention.

WHAT'S UP W/MY ENGLAND TODAY?

so we had our bio practical today. seemed like forever. 90minutes torture. almost fell over the stupid stool. not once, not twice. but thrice. it kept getting in my way! why do we need stools. it doesn't make any difference for me whether i sit or stand......... if you know what i mean.

i didn't study spinal cord &it came out &it had given me a shock. CLUELESS. i did studied Nutritions but fuck the number of of vitamin Bs. &why do they have to give different vitamins different scientific names???? why can't we just call Vitamin C Vitamin C &not ascorbic acid.
&&&my phone kept vibrating. i forgot to check after my practical til like we were at the mrt... i found it was Hannan, sending an SOS. make that 2.

1050ish:"Lela, my history paper is in 10minutes. i am going to fail. Lela, cheer me up!" then the next one went something like...., "Lela you're too late!" message received: 1150ish. message READ: 12noon.

well, can't save everybody:P

Aikim reckoned i looked sexy today. TODAY only lei. which is true. no, i'm not agreeding w/her i am sexy today. just that other days i wore casualshit to school. today i was extra different. anything different from my casualshit is sexy, seriously. it is THAT casual &THAT shit.

i thought, okay thanks Kim. she's just being nice. but even Wany was like oooohhh winkwink! not trying to sound conceit but everyone's eyeballs were on me as i walked down the fucking corridor. &some more it was so dead quiet that i could have sworn i could hear their head turned to gawk at me.

&then Evelyn was like: "WAHH. why so sexy today ar?" &therefore concluded that i looked like a girl.

i was like "THEN LAST TIME WHAT THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE? NO WAIT. I DON'T THINK I WANNA KNOW."

but Elton went ahead anyway:"neither a boy nor a girl:D" thanks ar, Elton!

i'm not dressing like that again. too much unwanted attention:'( the funny thing was when Momster saw me this morning, she too was like looking at me appraisingly. "finally! idk what was it you had for breakfast just now but whatever, keep it up. should wear more of this kind of clothes."

"maybe you should GIVE us money so we can BUY clothes," i retorted. as if it was her fault. it's mine, really. too lazy to shop......

"can, no problem. Wednesday we shop."

damn. shopping is depressing. i always end up buying clothes i don't wear. they look better in displays:)

Zaf, Kama, Aisya &i had lunch outside campus today. ended up cabbing back because we wouldnt want to be late for Chan's. cab journey was like 1minute. HAHAHA. because we were from amk? the cab dropped by exactly outside the south canteen..........in front of EVERYBODY to witness how unglamourly unpunctual we were. idk..at that point it was humiliating! &right in front of everybody? in the cab we were like stomping our legs like NOOOO WHY HERE OF ALL PLACES IN THE CAMPUS??? driver was like, "tsk, so noisy!" &i don't think he meant the campus.

&i don't think anybody understood that paragraph:O HAHA. but yar. what an adrenalin rush.......(huh?) my heart was still pumping so hard even when we were already in the lecture hall.

for once Mental Health was interesting:) Chan was talking about sex. okay not really. but it was sex related. &she kept giggling like a helpless hormonal teenager when she got to some parts:) its funny how people use alternative terms to replace words like erection or orgasm or penis or vagina or sex. we are all mature adults here :) nothing to be discreet about. where's the fun in it!!!!:D

i was a bit put off when Chan said bisexual people "have something wrong in the brain" because they "can't decide which gender they prefer". in a way true but maybe, just maybe, perhaps it's not a question of indecision. perhaps they. just. like. both. genders.?. anyway at this age, it's just a phase :) i will grow out of it, i'm sure.

&since i'm at it, ..what do you mean girls shouldn't burp????..okay luh, maybe we shouldnt. not out loud like some girls...::looks around:: &what's this shit about girls not supposed to enjoy sex????? seriously. hahahah typical fuck. it's annoying how the iron claws of society always get to us. how we LET it get to us. &we're supposed to conform to it &its stupid norms? no luh i'm not angry. jut saying:D

what next? girls shouldn't open doors? like i did, even though it was unintentional? because people were behind me &if i were to ignore them &shut the door, it would seem like slamming it in their faces. so i held it open for them but they didn't even say thank you. then there was this guy who was still quite a distance away luh but i was still holding the door, though i was like debating..."hmm should i leave? alar but he saw me already. &shit he's picking his pace SHIThe is running LUH! oh i feel so bad i made him run!"

i only let go of the door after him. panting, he was like, "thanks ar! you so nice:D" despite the fact i made him run unnecessarily:D HAHAHAHA. anyways. that made my day. at least some people appreciate small kind gestures. no matter who that some people are:D right, Zaf?

bumped into a friend on the way home. he was like, "eh. your eyeliner. smudged gyler babi...." maloo!!! but instead i told him nonchalantly that it's meant to be. like that. smudged.

"i like that. most girls, they start panicking sey. relax ar kan? it's only eyeliner."

i could only smile.

"is it supposed to be..one eye more smudged than the other too?"

crack, went my smile.

so what did we learn today?
1. stick to casualshit.
2. don't wear eyeliner. &when you do, PLEASE DON'T RUB YOUR EYES.
3. don't pick your scab :'( i did mine &it bled like no tomorrow. &i had to put a band aid over it &i hate band aids because they are a bitch to take out.

ultimately

4. don't share anything w/stupid irritating bitches. ..okay Zaf?:) luckily idk her... she's one sickass bitch luh, im telling you. i get nasty vibes from her &i know it's bad to hate someone you don't know &i try not to hate her. fact i tried to befriend her but sorry, can't pretend! all these while, i'm neutral but now???? can i hate her please?

the stabbing motion you did behind her back, Zaf? that's the way to go:D
Someone special blogged @ 6:29 PM l

(MORE?CLICK HERE! otherwise, can get lost:D)

went studying w/Aisya today. headed EAST! gosh..Bedok:) so much memories. like they still have the same KFC. the same BK. used to BEG my parents to go to either KFC or BK. usually it's KFC:) ugh chicken is forever.

you know when you're young, fast foods are like.....once a month. dinner there are like something really big, something you look forward to w/your whole family.......... that's when you're young luh. now you're older, you can have fast food anytime your heart's desire. til sometimes the sight of them, especially macs, makes me wanna mcpuke. but ugh please, kfc is forever okay.

bedok bedok bedok :) so many memories. i want to cry.

we went Bedok library to study. then we continued at BK. quite productive luh. i'm so happy! maybe it's all because of Martini:D the sight of that damn 100dollar anatomy &physiology textbook kindar like puts a spell on you. makes you want to flip it open. &study it. stare at the diagrams til you can memorise every mark.

....O level ten year series should be like that hor?

met Aisya's bubbly cute friend Abbie/Abby/Abi. whatever, she's cute:) i like her.

we headed to pasir ris to replace Aisya's card. was reluctant. because...you know...Bedok.. to pasir ris. passes you-know-where. &it gives me the funky feeling in the stomach. HA HA. but eh, glad we did what we did. managed to get a few happy shots:D not good shots, but happy shots :) shots that makes me happy. yup.

Aisya makes me happy too:D thanks for the company. loveforever.

okay i have a presentation to finish :'(
Someone special blogged @ 9:45 PM l

hey ure good on taking pics on a certain angle kan?

ugh, go play in traffic says:
hmmmm
not good luh..anybody can do that

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
but i can see dat uve got talent u noe

ugh, go play in traffic says:
eh?
thank you

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
u take pics its like professional

ugh, go play in traffic says:
thanks!

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
u noe when to take, a certain angle where the pics come to life

ugh, go play in traffic says:
okay dah enough

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
zzzzzzz
but seriously tao
i like the way u take pics

he likes the way i take pics!!!!

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
its like soo professional
izit u or izit just the camera?

&ooh see how Lela falls through the sky. anti-climatic ar, Ibrahim.

ugh, go play in traffic says:
eh its me okay

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
chey!!
laju dier jwb

ugh, go play in traffic says:
give me the crappiest camera
i give you wonders
hahhahahahaha

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
wahaha

ugh, go play in traffic says:
tak luh

๑۩۞۩๑=HeHeMC.Ma=๑۩۞۩๑ says:
waa

ugh, go play in traffic says:
camera plays a mini part


because it's not about the camera, or how you shoot. everybody can shoot. but not everybody is born w/the eye to recognize what's in front of them.

makes me wanna go out tomorrow &shoot. ntah. like sudden drive.
Someone special blogged @ 12:25 AM l

noratiah's synonym -- loving (... as in devoted!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

nurulhuda's synonym -- attractive (... as in enthralling!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

zafirah's synonym -- nonchalant (... as in cool!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

kamariah's synonym -- funny (... as in comical!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

aisyah's synonym -- sane (... as in wise!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

lela's synonym -- Unique (... as in single!) 'What is your synonym?' at QuizGalaxy.com

HAHAHAHHAHA. couldnt put it better myself.
Someone special blogged @ 12:06 AM l

Momster, all i want for my birthday is to move like Ciara:D &fuck can i have her bod too? think you can give me that?:O
Someone special blogged @ 2:12 PM l

she bought me breakfast. i appreciated it. even though the curry made me run to the toilet 3times. &when i was queuing for my peanut butter w/chocolate waffles, which was taking ages, she insisted to wait with me instead of heading home first like i urged her to("i can do w/o your complaints, especially w/a hungry craving stomach."). she looked a tad offended luh, hence. she waited w/me, &other than tsking irritatedly(&irritatingly!) during intervals, i gots to salute her for practicing patience. i know it had taken a lot out of her.

i think i know what she's up to :( why she's so nice. it's because of the money. &i feel horrible because i'm actually suspicious of my own mother? &why am i so upset about the whole money thing??? no it's not the money i'm upset about. it's the fact that Momster somehow doesn't trust me w/it. &her tone hurts when she said that the money is actually hers. then why did dad put it under my name? i wish i knew what was on dad's will.

Mac is blocking my view of the monitor. i am typing w/oblivion. get your filthy feline ass off my face, Mac, thanks.

this 2week "break" is coming to an end. die, i tell you.......................

• bioscience practical (not prepared)
  
• search ICA (preparing..there's a difference between not prepared &preparing:P)
  
• med-surg BPH ICA presentation (so-so..tomorrow's final day to get everything done!)
  
• ATTACHMENT!

i always have this funky feeling whenever i think of attachment......... THEN IT REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE. whom i had a nightmare of last night. no. not Yusman:P HAHAHAHA.(internal joke). i thought i'm strong but i'm not. not fun to be me right now :( but i know i'll be okay luh.

Killer is making so much noise.

"what's that thing you're blowing?"
"it's a harmonica:D"
"okay. stop blowing that harmonica or i'll shove it down your throat."

i am so pissed off w/that mini bitch(:D). made a mistake &showed her the videos we took yesterday at Kama's place &she went like, "hmm can i say something? but i'm scared you might be offended. alar no need ar. better not say." i was like, AARGH YOU NINCOMPOOP. then you shouldnt have mentioned it right? can i kill you, please? she's not worried about sounding offensive, she just wants to purposely make me go insane. but guess what! she doesn't know i don't give an eyeball what she thinks. she forgot we're sisters, see.

we are BAD actors, man. Kama, Zaf, Aisya &me(in order of brilliance). Lidan is fantastic, however good luck in trying to understand what she's saying..... (after her scene, i went like, "i'm thinking..subtitles. you think?" we all nodded profoundly in agreement.)

we are BAD actors. the number of takes we took..... i wonder how movie stars do it. &they do 2-hour long movies whereas our video is only 10minutes?

well, we are nurses. we save people, not entertain them w/our ability to showcase expression &emotions that stir. ..more like our LACK OF ability. at best, we entertain by making an ass of ourselves. hence the million bloopers. one of them had to do w/me borrowing some 7-year-old kid's bike &found myself in the frame when i wasn't supposed to. ..i didn't know Kama was still recording!

we are BAD actors. &that's what makes yesterday so damn fun:D

i think i shall stick to behind the scenes though. i just have to be careful that i'm not standing on the props or Aisya's placards on the floor. the one w/her lines on it. there was once i did that &i was wondering what was her problem, why she wasn't delivering her lines. fact she looked constipation before bursting out: "MY LINES! your stepping on my lines!"

&it didn't help that my camera kept giving problems because the memory card was full. it was so frustrating &embarrassing. especially in a middle of a difficult scene. &then some of the lines sounded so wrong but it seemed only Zaf &me were aware of that:

"your mother tells me you're special &somehow i think you are special. right, pretty?" everytime Kama said those lines, Zaf &i would start tittering. as discreetly as we could. i THINK you are special? your mother tells me you're special &i THINK you are? somehow?? idk, your mother's lying for all i know:P goddd that was the hardest scene to shoot. plus we were so tired already &Zaf kept messing up the placards:P

..no actually the hardest scene was the playgroup scene........ :P SORRY GUYS. i had insisted to remain behind the camera but you didn't listen!!

all the trouble &amp;amp;the effort &the time &the sweat!!!! Kathleen had better give us an A+++++ for this!
Someone special blogged @ 6:40 PM l

i know father's day was like yesterday? i mean, not like its of any significance to me luh. but just thought i'd share something:D it's very heartwarming, some of them Father's day secrets:CLICK HERE

(my version, kindar)
Someone special blogged @ 11:31 PM l

Hannan texted while i was in the showers. so i couldnt reply. he texted again just as i was about done &he said: "Lela. you are sleeping &you won't be replying me anytime soon."

who does he think i am? HIM? so i replied luh: "i'm not sleeping. i just don't want to reply you."

"haha. you ar! okay luh. see ya then :("
"i was kidding luh, ayang!:D what's up my man?"
"yar right. i bet you hate me like crazy. i'm just waiting for my friend. so late. then i thought of you."
"because i'm always late!?!"
"yes!!"

asswipe:)

went to school for discussion. thought we'd study after that :( but we didn't. quite disappointed luh, can? in myself. but heh, aku sekaki jugak nampak sah........ i like the bit where we all sat at the steps &talked idk-what. ..maybe it's just me:D i love your company loads, even though sometimes you guys annoy the fuckinghell out of me. &vice versa:D

i think we were talking about suicide?

ive never considered suicide before:O never seriously, let alone attempted. just the occasional "UGH i want to kill myself" but that's just a figure of speech, right? i've thought of murdering someone before though, but murdering myself???? &i'm surprised my friends have. that is, thought of suicide.

i know it's always, "hey it's my life i can end it if i want to." but actually kan, your life is not for you to decide ONLY. because there's your family. your mother especially. you owe her your life, man. before you commit suicide, get her permission first hor? then there's god:O He has given you life, only He can end it. &He will sooner or later. this i promise. you just wait quietly, can?

i've gone through what it's like to lose someone so dear &it's not nice. makes me appreciate life more that way. suicide? FUCKNO. like. i don't want my family to have to go through what we've been through when we lost my dad. fun w/o me??? no way jose:P

haha maybe that's why i look different, compared to when i was younger? because dare i say, i have gone through so much. hence i had to grow up. HAD to. &fast... :'( but oh well :) how i am now=what i've been though &i like how i am. i dare to say i'm wiser. sadder too. but definitely wiser. stronger? idk. haha. because i'm a weak fuck. i am. just a bit of pressure i crumble. i've crumbled so many times. but i always pick myself up because life is really. too. short.

digressing.... Aisya Farid? it's awright okay? things happen for a reason. this could a blessing in disguise. just don't go do something stupid luh okay? love forever:P

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

Your Anti Climactic Fortune

Deep into your future, I forsee: A somewhat sickening first kiss

Someone special blogged @ 9:02 PM l

fate smiles
everything changes...



what's up wimme &chiseled-jaw guys????? AAAAH HOTSEX HOTSEX HOTSEX. no more DJ Cotrona lovin'. i think i'm moving on:D I THINK. IDK. as long as i cover my eyes during DJ's shirtless scenes luh hor? fuck idk how i'm going to settle down &get married like this. ficklepot!

i love windfall.

okay firstly. THANK YOU CHANNEL5 for airing Windfall. keep it up! THANK YOU what's-your-face for canceling our 'date' that Sunday otherwise i would have missed the first episode of Windfall. THANK YOU CHANNEL5 AGAIN.

why i love this series so much. besides GOODLOOKING CASTS, DUH. good story line. all the money in the world couldn't buy you happiness. i know, cliche. but they have a way of putting it across. fate smiles. everything changes. gifts fall from the sky. &open up doors. you're wanting more.

i love Jason's character Cameron. he's this married guy, who's in love w/someone else, &that someone else happens to be his best friend's wife! ...fucking unoriginal. BUT I LIKE. anyway i heard he gets bestfriend's wifey in the end:D so you see, folks! just because someone is already attached, doesn't mean you have to let go! KEEP HOLDING ON! love will find a way. that's my advice to sad singles out there. however to those attached skanks, pray hard &hang on your boyfriends tight.

haha that's why i love this show so much:D huh what? no you didn't hear that from me:D

then there's this character, Damian. 17years old. i wish he were my boyfriend. i wish guys were like him. generous, considerate, romantic. &i know guys wish they were him because he got himself a Russian model as a wife:D ..more like, he bought her.....

then there's Sean(DJ Cotrona's character) who is sweetsex. yea baby. he ends up giving away all his million dollars by randomly scattering all the notes from a helicopter because he figures, hey what the fuck. this money brought me nothing but trouble. i don't need no million dollars.

i don't need no 365million dollars too. i just need Jason G. ..&DJ Cotrona.. &Jon Foster. &Jaclyn D..... i am such a greedy fuck.

okay LAST ONE! this one takes the cake:D


Someone special blogged @ 7:02 PM l

I hear the crystal raindrops fall
On the window down the hall
And it becomes the morning dew
Darling, when the morning comes
And I see the morning sun
I want to be the one with you
Someone special blogged @ 6:35 PM l

DAY2 CLICK HERE

huhu

Someone special blogged @ 3:44 PM l

whatever. it was still fun as balls:) please click on the picture above to view pictures from 0622Chalet(I) hor. 0622Chalet(II) will be posted tomorrow/the day after tomorrow/next week/not today because you &i can only contain so much excitement in 1day.

felt good to be back home! to K^ng Mac, to my bed..uh i mean my couch.. to THIS. to solitude!!!!! ..to BIOSCIENCE TEXTBOOK, that's lying on the table where i last left it before i went away for 2-days 1night class chalet. such solemn innocence the thick book portrays..... reminding me i have an bio practical exam in less than 10days away. &i've tons &tons of chapters of cover. i am screwed if i don't start studying NOW.

but i'm so groggy.. it's almost 5pm lei. i've been on the laptop editing &posting pictures from the chalet..i've yet to send them to my friends via hotmail like i've promised &stuff like that. since 1pm. that's what ive been doing. was supposed to meet Aisya &Zaf today but Momster wouldn't let me out after what happened this early morning.

maybe it was fatigue. dehydration? when i got up this morning to do my prayers, i felt so woozy &nauseous. my vision started to blur &i could feel myself giving in into a sudden darkness that was engulfing me. i had to lie down &shut my eyes tight. scared the living hell out of everyone. Momster was sure something followed me home last night when i returned back from the chalet at midnight.

but i'm awright now :( just that the thigh muscles ache like fuck. i cannot make any sudden leg movements without cringing in pain. so sleeping just now was agony. heck. walking is agony!! this is what happened when you're unfit &spent 2hours cycling to &back Pasir Ris park. only having barely 3hours of sleep the day before &a sad breakfast at Macs. made worst by hanging upside fuckingdown more than 15metres from the ground; the only thing holding you &preventing you from plummeting headfirst to your death was a heavy thick cushion handle thingie pressing tightly down on your already aching thighs.

i'm talking about the Inverter. this ride at Escape i rode. it was 360 degrees hell. never AGAINNNN. i'd rather take the Viking a dozen times than go up the Inverter, man.

but yes, the view from the Inverter was Brilliant :) maybe i would have appreciate it more if i weren't screaming my lungs out in mortification &having almost torn my voice box in the process.

i took the Log Flume wet &wild ride w/Wany:D got myself drenched from head to toe. i don't get it why i got wet the most........ like seriously soaked. smaller surface area i think...... then i was shivering for the rest of the day at Escape. but then, overall it was intense, aggressive kickass fun luh. Flippers awright, but it was shortlived. Haunted House was sad, disappointing &insulting. love the Viking!!!! i remember going like, "HOHO fuck okay~~~~ ..oh hold while my organs catch up......"

i think i kindar summarize day2.

day1 was FUN TOO!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i remember teaching Zaf, Aisya &Kama the game Stress. hehehehehehhee. at one point we were all so stressed up, we just broke off in different directions &Kama broke her hair clip thingie.

i remember Maggie had a little too much to drink &was all tipsy after that. that was hilarious. a side of Maggie we don't get to see very often:DDD so when we did, we took advantage. HAHAHA. okay no.

we played Chop Cilli Chop Chop. ..however you spell it...... the game is all about making little gestures &little moves &the next person will follow. goes round &round until someone screws up. &someone will screw up especially when the moves get a little too creative &too absurd. Kim is very creative in making up moves:D &i am very creative in changing them altogether &making it into my own moves. ..&i didn't even know it... Zaf had a ball laughing at me, that assclown:P making me look bad in front of our friends......

"let's start w/Lela."
"i want to sit next to her so i can watch her(make an ass of herself)."
"no, let's all just watch her. WAHAHAHHA(Mags' drunken laughter)."

played Big Fish Small Fish. it's complicated i wouldnt even want to try to explain how the game is played..... heh. but it was fun because Zaf screwed up alot &i'm saying, who's the loser nowwwww..!!?! HEHEHEHHE.

played Truth or Dare. crowd beginning to gather. i was the first :((((( picked Truth. had a silly question:PP then spun the bottle. ME AGAIN. picked dare. was dared to kiss Khairul!??!?! i was like, YOU GUYS ARE MEAN. ended up having to go up to Huifen &tell her i love her. so i did lor. a couple of kids got dared. very sporting. everyone did theirs. Huifen got a nasty one:))))

some had gone to sleep. &those awake decided to watch the movie Ghost Game on Khairul's laptop in the room upstairs. let's see...there was Yuwen, Eera, Mags, Sarah, Ping, Eve, Kama, Huifen, Zaf, Elton &me. crammed onto the bed. watching a ghost movie in thai at3am. during one scary scene where the fugly ghost grabbed the poor girl, we started screaming our heads off.

then the door swung open &we all screamed again. it was Khai &he went, "can you guys shut the fuck up!" &slammed the door shut. it would have been pretty funny if he wasn't so fucking fierce & downright rude about it............. :(

movie was mundane after the first hour. YAWN. not scary anymore. just mundane. except for little talking here &there among ourselves. about how fugly the ghosts are. how it doesnt make sense. "how did she die again?" "..mysterious death." it seemed all of them died of mysterious death. "i hate ghost stories w/no story line. then it's like. you're scared &you don't know why." HAHAHA. nice one. i forgot who said it. but yar. nice one.

movie finally ended. thank god. it was 5pm. Aisya was finally back from her rendezvous. ehehhehe. maner jer dier pergi tau...........:P anyway so the 4of us crammed on the floor in sleeping bags. uncomfortable &cold. but maybe because i was so tired as soon as i hit the pillow(my bag), i was gone. 3hours of sleep. seemed like 13hours.

fun luh. from the bbq. the games. the beach. the cycling. the Escape. the staying up &pissing. the company!!! the love. the camwhoring. the everything.

but fun is over now! ..where's my nerd helmet?
Someone special blogged @ 4:29 PM l

HAHAgood question:DDDDD i gues my eljay is uhm, the other side of me. no it's not peedee HOR! i'm just saying..it's a side of me i'd rather you not know. i've warned ya!! it makes you go HMM. very controversial, very honest, very naughty, very gay. not something i'm proud of that's why... but i need to let it out, right?

peedee = PD = personality disorder. NOT physiology disorder HOR, AISYA FARID:PPP

KFC for lunch today. YES! mission accomplished. been craving for chicken for like 2 weeks. yeehaw! because chicken is forever. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. i come up w/the coolest quotes. next is LJS. girls? take this down:)

i pulled an Imran :( like. two days in a row??? BAD! need to be more observant, more conscious &aware of my surroundings. yesterday it was Dicky i missed: "Lela!" he brushed past. he in a form of a botak:D

me..playing w/my curly fringe, completely zonked. spaced out. i mean i did waved back, acknowledge him, but it didn't sink in til like 6seconds later: "EH DICKY!?" but i found he was long gone. did a double take...IS THAT AKMAL BESIDE HIM? w/the crazy curls???? HAHAHAHAHHAHA. DAMN!!!!!! &i thought my hair is curly. next to him, my hair is STRAIGHT.

that was yesterday. abeh today! at banquet AMK. was like, "HM. where's the nearest route to the Hub?" when suddenly a figure in front of me completely grabbed me in a most embarrassing &intrusive way. &another ..fatter..figure feigned a slap across my face. EARTH TO LELA. it was Cousin Elly &Aunt Mia. FUCK. I WAS LIKE SKJFSFWFDWIKR!!?!!?

"we were right in front of you!" their tone was accusative.

hehehehe. i was like i SWEAR i didn't notice you guys. SERIOUSLY. nothing personal! i'm just the type of person who's like..sees the destination &reaching there is all that matters. anything else, to hell w/you. could be a poor girl being raped at the bushes next to me. or a naked Jensen Ackles. okay, except a naked Jensen Ackles:D otherwise i'd be like totally unaware, &oblivious. ignorant, in a way, but simply because i'm so ..focused?into getting to where i want to go. but not til the expense of being a kan chiong spider:D i still stroll. take my time. that's why people get the wrong impression thinking i am purposely ignoring them.

uhm focused? more like dreaming.

that's why i NEED photography. it keeps me grounded, a part of society. when i have a camera in my hands, everything changes. i change:D my eyesight definitely change. HAHA. NO it's not peedee!!

went tan tock seng hospital today. for the first time! since uhm 6years ago. a lot of things have changed. they have starbucks! sure they didnt have starbucks back then! yup, ttsh doesn't look like it did when i was a kid. which was a relief. i was surprised that i felt that! that relief. i mean, it had been 6years, man. surely i've dealt w/it? idk... :(

yar! went ttsh today! to accompany my lovies to their interview. bumped into Nurool:) then there was Aisya Johari waiting for her turn. "i'm so glad you came, Lela. i was so scared &nervous but you're here &everything's okay," she said. AWWWW. i died &went to heaven:D HAHAHAHA. i felt bad then because the first thing i said when i saw her was like, "you traitor! attachment at CGH abeh bond at TTSH!" heh but yar. miss hanging w/her. AAHHH this Love.

"boyfriend kau amaciam?"
"oraitt.. boyfriend kau?"
"macam gitu jugak."

padahal neither of us has one. it's funny because we both think the other is attached. you know? i mean im like, duh Aisya J must have a boyfriend luh. at the same time SHE can't believe I don't have a boyfriend. i'm like WHAT?????? OF COURSE i don't have a boyfriend. then she mimics me &we go round &round &round. idk, i guess we don't want boyfriends:DDD i'm thinking something naughty. HAHAHAHAH. eh this piece oughts to belong on eljay la dey....

i can't see myself doing the interview :O convincing the staff to PICK ME PICK ME. I'M A GOOD RESPONSIBLE NURSE. PICK ME. just can't. &it's odd that i'm not thinking of a bond, sealing a career in nursing for good when I had picked nursing voluntarily as one of my choices. top5 lei.. some of my good friends who had no intension of being in this course in the first place are bonding. good for them, that they've acquired the passion:D i'm happy for them:D

but sad for me. i wish i'm as confident &enthusiastic &100%sure as them. idk..i mean, OH GOD PLEASE GIMME A SIGN!!!! ..SOON! hahahahah. heh.

it's tomorrow :) i have not packed. shit. idk what to bring! how many clothes &underwears to pack? toothbrush? TOWEL??? SLIPPERS?? fuck Lina brought the sleeping bag for her camp i've no sleeping bag where do i sleep?! OHHH another thing..i forgot to rent CDs!!!?! oh by the way. icutthehairagain:)
Someone special blogged @ 9:29 PM l

Faisal
i will remember you for the amazing pictures you took. &our photo dates..which could have been. &it was you who gave me the name Lelly McLens. indie all the way!

Hannan
there's so many things i will remember you for! the guy who taught me that true friends never leave. more like you proved me. the friend who never quite left even though it seemed like you were out of the picture for some really long time............ i think our friendship has reached a different level now, a maturity. no more 14-year-olds talking about music:P ps.still remember our pact ;)

Ruoyan
if you were a character in a fiction book i were to write, you'd be this gorgeous mufucking princess... w/a bayonet. because you're sweet outside but definitely poison inside.... you have the saintest of intentions, i know you do, but there's also this dark side &gallows humour about you.

CC
i will remember you for being the bestfriend for that 3weeks attachment. if i were Spongebob, then you're my Patrick:D i will definitely remember you for being the first person i opened up to. &vice versa. the first i confessed my sexuality to &of all places, in the utility room, under the pretext of looking for a giant bandage? you know if i could pick a friend to fly to the moon w/me it'd be you. YOU memorably defined my ward37 attachment experience.

Aisya Farid
the girl who could break my neck w/her bare hand. that's how i will remember you. sadly.. hHAHAHhahahHAHa. okay okay seriously now..... the girl w/the crazy social life:) i will remember you for the girl who can go on for hours, i tell you. i will remember you for being there when i need a study buddy, or when i have cravings for ice cream, you'd eat ice cream w/me even if you were having sore throat.

Rash
i will remember you for ..being the male version of ME:D SCARY RIGHT!!! but yar. i know i can have deep meaningful intellectual conversations w/you. we're of same frequency, you &me. we could take over the world!!!!! if we're not too busy being sloths!!!!! i will remember you for the guy who played truancy almost every week. the guy who i'd find at the school atrium reading newspapers. Ms Poon's teacher's pet:P the guy w/big dreams but little executions. the guy who's just like me.

Harith
Muse, M&Ms, peanut butter, Jessica Alba. remind me of you! &when i watch Windfall every Sunday, when it gets to DJ Cotrona's scenes, i keep getting images of your stupid handsome face. i want to kill myself! no. i want to kill you! no. i rape you first then i kill you &toss into the river &let the fishes eat you. ehehehe. okay. seriously. i will remember you for being the guy who gave me butterflies in the stomach. going for attachment every morning was like slow suicide for me. you brought me high &also let me down crashing &burning. yar i'll remember you for that:D &then there's those horrible kinky text messages.......

KamariaH
i will remember you for your sweet voice over the phone! talking to you makes my hair stand. it's a compliment! i will remember you for SO MANY LITTLE RANDOM THINGS LUH. susah sangat nak pilih one significant thing. you're everything. it's true they say great things come in small packages. &i remember thinking, "damn, Kama. will you be my girlfriend in the next life?" because she's the best girlfriend in the worlds.

Meyaa
you're perfect in my dictionary.

Evelyn
i will remember you for the nasty &sarcastic things you say about/to me. but yet you can be so damn sweet &so likeable &so hilarious! i know i can have whacked conversations w/you. making fun of each other but in an actual fact we've the hots for each other!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA. it's a blessing knowing you. an angel in disguise, definitely.

ZafiraH
my MISS SUNSHINE. i will remember you as MY MISS SUNSHINE. if i could put it in a song: oh it's you-ou-ouuu. the light changes when you're the room. oh it's you-ou-ouuu..ohhh it's youuuu. :)))) the dark lecture room brightens when you enter. i will remember you for your hysterical outbursts &dramatic expressions. the girl whom i don't mind being isolated on an island w/. she's my amusement:P

Ibrahim
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. DON'T GET ME STARTED. i will remember you for being the guy who could have been. but got away:) too bad. cause we sooo could rock the world!!!!!!

ERNEST<3
i love you, Ernest. ideally i want to marry you &we can have many curly-haired babies:) &our honeymoon would be at the country where Jason Mraz would be at on his next tour so we could watch him perform live because we missed him when he came over to Singapore last year. yes i will remember you for many things. you being my GL during sec2 camp. you being my PAL from then &still counting, even though we don't talk so much as last time. i know you'll be there for laughs &for tears. &how did it started? you said it started from a young guy getting to know an interesting girl. i say it started from a young girl interested in a young guy, shamelessly got his email address &the rest is history.

Nurool
i will remember you for beiing my first ever REAL friend in Peirce Sec. really real real REAL. when i felt i didn't belong, i met you &everything fell in place. misunderstandings, distance or absence mean nothing to us. not an obstacle at all because i know this friendship i have w/you is fo sho' :P

Nabila Valensi
i will remember you for being the girl w/the spunk &the attitude. if i were born a boy studying in Peirce, you're the one i'd stayed back after school for, just to walk home w/you secretly from behind aka stalk you?? like Koko Krunch! you're an essential, something i must start the day w/. that's how i will remember you. like KOKO Krunch! hhahahahaiamsoweird.

Dicky
botak! i will remember you for being the first ever guy i asked out. then i will remember you for being the first ever guy who rejected me! rather go skating w/elder brother ey? on V'day? heh. the guy who is..secretive nak mampos. the guy who is a true blue friend, maybe not to me(urmph) but to your homies(i.e. Muhd:O....) looking forward to hanging out w/you guys some time:D get to know you better, maybe ask you out again on a date next year on the 14th of February ;) HAHAHA.

Ginny
i'm really glad i sat next to you at malay class. i really do. the inside jokes, &the nasty nicknames we gave our classmates. laughing at the malay guys' tapered pants: "how do they get into those pants????????" i'm smiling at the reminiscent :) i will remember you for being the girl with admirable perseverance &strength. &when you smile, the whole world seems to smile w/you.

NORATIAH LARRY!!!!!!!!!
YES! i couldnt get you on msn so..... but i hope you're reading this! please put on your gay-helmet for safety purposes...(???) how will i remember you? do you wanna know??? i'll tell you when you're here in Singapore:PPPPPPPPP EHEHHEHEHE.


what a mouthful.



IT'S TOMORROWWWWWWW!!!!!
Someone special blogged @ 12:43 PM l

-[ Lela ]- Was the first person to die of Lela disease 'What will you be remembered for?' at QuizGalaxy.com

that's according to QuizGalaxy. but what will my friends remember me for?

Captain Oats
"you deleting friendster. then going back. then deleting it again........ you are straight aren't you?" (i give off lesbian vibes??!!?!?:O)

Hook
"the times we chat on msn. the crazy conversations &how funny you were."

Ryan O
"your cat? your photography passion. your humour."

CC aka Virtual Bestie
"i would ask for your last wish &if i can fulfill for you, i will come &help you." (....AWW. you see why he's my virtual bestfriend??? so what if he answered off-tangent)

Aisya FARID
"i'll remember you as my good buddy..someone who gives me the motivation to study consistently :))"

Duck
"that you are intelligent, witty, &that you ask the most interesting questions? someone i can have interesting conversations w/"

Iskandar
"i will remember you as Lela, the one who never fail to crank me up sometimes."

Aimzzzzzzzzzzzz
"just Lela." (after much probing) "i'm not kidding. i will remember you as just Lela." (after a string of vulgarities coming from me) "what do you want from me!!!!!?!??!" (HAHAHA) "i will remember you as just Lela." ("quit saying that.") "i haven't finish! i will remember you as just the one i need to get me through the day." ("that's from a song...") "&your music knowledge is insane."

Harith
"i will remember you for the girl w/the mod chick look, has a funny way of describing things, a yummy combination of naughty &nice." (Lela died for a while &went to heaven)

KamaKamaKama
"hehe. apple pie?" (inside joke) "perhaps everything. from how we met til the jokes we shared."

Meyaa
"a poet. a writer who writes beautiful things to heal herself &everyone else." (!!! i feel guilty now because i haven't been writing :'(

Evelyn
"whack behavior w/ghost like haircut. wassup? you dying soon is it? when will that be, my dear?" (HAHAHAHA. YOU WISH, EVE DEAR!)

ZafiraH
"the friend who is daring and enjoys life to the fullest no matter wad ever wrong turns she makes." (what can i say..she knows me best)

Ibrahim
"what i will remember you for? hmm.that you love me? ("since when!!?") "since you added me." (we went offtrack for a bit...) "i wont 4get dat u added me on msn accidentally n coincidentally we frm same sch n course" (awkward silence from me...he is clueless isnt he. oh those Ibrahim days) "&i won't forget you wanting to bite me." (HAHAHAHA. making fun of my msn nickname. damn he always cracks me up.)

Ingenious Ernest
"omg why suddenly ask this question? think i will remember you by the nice pics you take &your friendship with me. that it started w/a young guy getting to know an interesting girl." (i appreciate his answer the most because i could feel his earnestness :) i meant his sincerity. &he was so scared he thought i was dying or something..like if i were to really die tomorrow, i think he will mourn over me the most. eheh i like that he takes me seriously.) "you've touched my life but don't ask me how! it's as bad as telling my girlfriend why i like her!"

Nurool
"I'd remember you as the girl w/such strong abilities despite that shy front you portray. &if you were a legend, i'd call you "the mysterious girl aka your bestfriend."

Nabila Valensi
"the wonderful girl that is always there to listen, the cheerful, hilarious &unexpectable. if you're going to commit suicide, don't!"

Tabitha
"your advice, humour, care, concern. that i could have treated you better as a friend.."

Ali
"i will remember you for the girl who make ugly people look good on camera."

so. if i were to die tomorrow(god forbid), what will you remember me for. &are you ready for Dicky's answer? >>>"why you asking me such a question in the middle of the night.............."

(.....)

"that's what i will remember you for:D"

let's give it up for the man:)
Someone special blogged @ 1:23 PM l

first, you must have the chicken!! then you must have the stuff to marinate the chicken w/! then you need ..a ..pot..or container or something..to put the chicken wings in. it gots to be big enough for 40 chicken wings.

now you have the equipments ready. next. prepare the nurse. uh i mean the cook. the marinator? whatever. okay. simple handwash!!! ensure nails are short luh hor........ hygiene is important. chicken hygiene is important too. so you gots to clean the chicken wings w/a squeeze of lime &a pinch of salt.

okay okay okay where am i driving at.

how difficult can marinating chicken be, right????? that's my point: who sey, don't know how to marinate chicken............

that would be me, AN HOUR AGO. but now i know how:D thanks to Harith. because i remember he told me he can cook. so i figured, why not surprise me.. but, let me tell you first, it ain't easy calling him &asking how to marinate chicken w/honey. took a lot of guts. swallowed a lot of pride. i could tell he was appalled.

"wait..let me write this down....."
"........you never done this before have you."
"there's always first time for everything right:D"
"just checking..do you know where to get the chicken?"

very funny:)
Someone special blogged @ 12:24 PM l

i wanna share something:DDD let me share w/you something!!!!

let me bring to you the work of photographer Daniela Edburg: her "drop dead gorgeous" series. it concerns w/the relationship between consumption and glamor. her photography deals with different kinds of "death" by various products that are being consumed. below is one of my fav's:



DEATH BY M&MSSSS.. ZOMGG. THAT COULD BE ME:O could be your favourite food next:O makes you think twice, doesn't it..... okay shh, here's the link: (hoovah)

okay back to me already.

there's this yellow polo shirt which i meant to wear to school luh but the wordings on it kindar put me off. today i thought..improvise siket ar! so below the word L-O-V-E, i scribbled in small neat print: if you dare.

yay. more me:D frankly i wanted to put: LOVE if you're stupid. but that would be too much... one mistake though. it was a black pen but ..w/a blue ink. looks odd. but that's me hor? odd.

last day of school! i regret it wasn't memorable enough.........hahahahahaha. idk! where's the ...bittersweetness??? though school seemed a little deserted in the later afternoon. heh, what..did everybody decided to skip their last tutorials like we did too?????? even bumping into June, the lecturer that was to take us for our 3pm tutorial, didn't seem to stop me &Zaf. when we don't wanna go for tutorial, means we do not wanna go for tutorial. let the sky fall on us, nothing was going to change our minds.

we're tough like that. bad ass. sorry June! it's not you, it's us!!!! okay it's not us, it's the timing really.........

we had a productive discussion w/lots of editing slides dones... then guess what. we DID save it, but we didn't save it to the laptop FIRST. like just opened it from hotmail straight. so we lost the saved file. even though we saved it? get it? frustrating sey.

• bus-ed home. HAHAHHAHA. funny sial. let's take 166 more often:DDDDDDD
• EH. MONDAY...KFC HOR???????? MUST LEI. ..or else...heads gonna roll. ain't gonna be mine or the chicken's..
• Wednesday come faster....!!!!! okay that's very bad england.
• LIBRARY TOMORROW?????:DDDDDD

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore by James Morrison


listen to the words. heartfelt sey :( &Zaf? i didn't tell you this just now. this song explains It. the whole girlfriend bit? i was just sugarcoating it... :( .........i mean:D you know i never let girlfriends get in the way:PP ::insert evil laughter here:: HAHAHA. yeayirock.
Someone special blogged @ 8:10 PM l

look at that. but when i took this, i was ONLY HALFWAY up the stairs. there's still MORE to go. sometimes i wonder how i do it. i mean, there's another way, the common way, of entering the campus but i take the one that requires all the energy an 18-year-old girl can muster. &this girl is so not fit:P mind you me.

but i like walking from the back:D i can stroll, take my time &not be swept away w/the rest of the world. ..but there's a higher chance of being knock down by an incoming cars luh. tricky, walking through that car park.........

tomorrow is the last day of the first half of the semester.

sorted out the organizer &learnt that the 2weeks break is not really a break for my subgroup.................................. asswipes. i envy those who've gotten their ICA presentations over &done w/. NO STRESS! speaking of which, Justine's group presentation on Dissociative Identity Disorder was the bomb luh. laughed till i teared. never have i laughed till i teared during a presentation. i love abnormal psychology<333 style="font-style: italic;">"i'm not timothy! i'm BERNARD!" LMFAO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.!?!!!!!! inside joke...we all know how Elton feels towards Bernard Lian;) damn. when Elton is funny, he's so fucking funny. when he's not, he's soooo not. you know? :D &&&Huifen is the most adorable thing on earth, i tell you. &you won't find someone so humble &so down to earth. she's still got the Innocence:) something i wish i have.... note to self: remember that you owe Ah Fen 7bucks..........

"5 more days eyyy:D"
"to what?"
"to our wedding. tsk, to NS?"
"ehhe actually it's 18 more days."
"really?! okay. boring."
"ahhaapaisey."
"no luh actually i was just testing you."

STUPIDDD:P
Someone special blogged @ 7:59 PM l

so yar. i went out w/Killer. intension was to shoot but oh-so-uninspired :( so we ended up "shopping".

&we bought hair straightener which comes w/a hair curler too. rad:D now i've a reason to keep my hair long. ..yes my hair IS already naturally genetically curly wurly but EH it's not well-defined enough:P YEA i FEEL LIKE A GIRL BECAUSE IM FUSSING OVER MY HAIR. speaking of hair, i am STILL gonna trim it like this weekend. &i kindar got myself a free haircut from i-dunno-where but it's all thanks to Nurool<3333

i feel like a girl trying out that hair straightener. but i almost got my ears burnt so i thought heck. what's there to straighten anyway....................

i feel like a girl because the past hour i've been colouring my nails:D YAY a reason to love your rags, girlfriends. well...muslim girlfriends:P

ow stomach cramps..irgh.

what else..oh yar. went to Chameleon &bought a pair of orangey hair clips:PPP &an orangey floral band. Killer was like.....you don't have HAIR to tie why do you need a band. because the reasons are: 1)it's orange in corour &i love orange, 2)it's cheap, 3)i can fashionably turn it into a cute little girly wrist band:P

"i'm a girl &i love floral bands."
"..you sound gay saying that."

.............."i AM a girl &i LOVE floral bands!" :PPP

let's shop for cute strappy sandals &flowy dresses next, why don't we?
Someone special blogged @ 11:16 PM l

haha sorry luh. just that there's nothing going on, just school. took the camera out today w/Killer but didn't shoot. where's the muse?:O

i wanna cut my hair i wanna cut my hair!


beautiful. makes me want one too...JEALOUS AR. grrr.

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Someone special blogged @ 8:15 PM l

if you're smart, you know where to find for updates of my life:D ...........otherwise, make do w/this survey. ps.i think Patrick looked hot today. HAHAHA. cheekycheeky Pat:P &we finally watched the second half of the movie Identity( refresh! ). interesting! I LUURV IT. must-watch. i was right! Little Timmy was the fucked up killer! whores don't get second chances. DUDE. look who's being a bitch now.

this is not suppose to be an update. what the heck Lela??? contradicting!

9 Things you look forward to:
1. tomorrow
2. the term break:D
3. CLASS CHALET ZOMG JUST SHOOT ME BECAUSE I CAN'T HANDLE THE ANTICIPATION
4. attachments???:O
5. my birthday in a month's time BECAUSE IT'D BE IN THE HOSPITAL HOW NOVEL IS THAT
6. Noratiah's arrival from Australia:D escape theme park??????????YOUR TREAT RIGHT!?
7. CLASS CHALET
8. ENDLESS PHOTOSHOOTS
9. im sorry i'm just really excited just thinking of those mentioned above. don't mind me!


7 Things that anger you:
1. misplaced items
2. Lina using my camera w/o my permission
3. Momster's endless complaints about everything
4. Lina's stupid message ringtone:D it's annoying &ear-damaging
5. i dont get
6. angry so
7. often luh

6 Things you say most days:
1. fuck!?
2. ZAF!!?!?!
3. AISYAAAA!
4. KamaKamaKamaKama
5. Whatever, Elton
6. i cannot tahan this stupid lecture

2 Of your favorite songs at the moment:
1. Losing my Ground - Fergie
2. I Will Be - Avril Lavigne(beautiful, heart warming song. too bad there's nobody to dedicate it too every time i sing it in the showers)


DO:
- you have a crush on someone: No. oh but there was this girl who almost kanna squashed between the elevator doors...so cute. i was like whoa..do that again so i could see her expression. priceless.
- you wish you could live somewhere else: chyea. SPAIN<3
- you believe in online dating: online dating?
-others find you attractive: how the fuck do i know?:D
- you want more piercings: I WANNA PIERCE THE TONGUEY!
- you like cleaning: hmmmmmNO


FAVORITE:
- disney character: JASMINE. because she has a pet tiger &a boyfriend who owns a flying carpet &a muthafucking GENIE. WHAT MORE CAN A GIRL ASK FOR
- word: do you have to ask?
- nickname: you make a guess?
- eye color: BLACK. LIKE THE DARKEST BLACK. LIKE EVIL KINDAR.


DO YOU THINK YOU ARE:
- pretty: No.
- funny: anything but:DDDDDHAHAHAH.
- hot: HAHAHHA NO?
- friendly: no. i'm neutral:D
- amusing: ask Zaf.
- ugly: no luh:DDDD
- loveable: this is getting painful to complete........
- sweet: you know i can be :)
- dorky: no doubt about it.

DESCRIBE YOUR:
[ x ] Wallet – could use a wash..
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily – ear studs.
[ x ] Underwear - underwear?? red boxers.
[ x ] Perfume/cologne - uh
[ x ] What you are wearing now – a singlet &boxers
[ x ] In my head – incoherent mess
[ x ] Wishing – Imran had called so i could shoot his filthy sordid ASS.
[ x ] After this – Sleep
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month- attachments &my 18th
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood – no? but i want a pair of fangs:D
[ x ] Do you believe in love – ......yes i will. eventually.
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - a tiger, duh.

roar.

wait, LIONS roar. right? not tigers.

i promise proper standard update &probably a picture post. okaynow pray.

goodnight lovies.
Someone special blogged @ 10:08 PM l

last night was kickass fun but will get to that later....

slept at 2am! never slept at 2 on a school night:( hence today i was like completely zombie-fied. i barely survived through Chan's! then it was over after what felt like many many killer hours, &i felt so good &liberated. for like 2 seconds because i remembered there's Param's 2-hour Bio lecture later at 4pm &it was only 2 then. i wanted to cry. wanted to. but didn't. instead, i decided to be a man about it. ..&skipped the last lecture.

Zaf was my partner-in-crime:) Aisya almost joined us in the naughty deed, but decided to stay for Kama. that's Aisya for you. always a friend:)))

so Zaf &i went home. talked non stop all the way. it was neat. i love ZafiraH. even though she often verbalizes of wanting to murder me/bite my ass off/toss me into the river. but nothing scares me as much as she saying that she was going to ignore me for the rest of the day. COME ON. WHY TORTURE YOURSELF?????(&me:P)

we took 166 home, &i gave her a brief tour around amk. this is my house, this was the coolest school in the worlds; Peirce Sec. HAHAHHA. i wasnt kidding when i told you we talked non stop. haha. i just enjoy every fucking second i spend w/that girl :)

okay digressing:

zomg zomg zomg i'm officially one of the KAKUs. HAHAHHAHAHA. i am so thrilled. thank you for accepting me into the gang, guys. it's a great honour. i've been dying to be part of you guys since we were all 13!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, no :P

a convo w/Rash:
"how come you were never one of us?"
"us who?"
"the KAKU luh. the 3 of us."
"HAHAHHA. naw, i'm not cool enough:P okay not true. i don't think Dicky adored me as much as you &Hannan. HAHAHAHHA." (ps.it's true. i'm not just saying it.)

that was 2 nights ago. skali the next day they asked me out to join them for movie! even Dicky said i should go. Dicky, you know. DICKY. so i was like WAHHHHHAHAHAHHA!!!OKAY:D

it feels good to belong. yup!HAHA.

but of course there's always a price to pay for all good things in life...................... see, Rash(itik) started it first. it was a genuine spelling error: lala instead of lela. then somehow the disability to type a simple name as mine, spread to Hannan(hook). like a twisted epidemic:

hook says:
Lala

let's do it today says:
tell me thats a spelling error
the fifth
(i counted)

itik says:
lala

let's do it today says:
okay sixth

hook says:
haha
it's not
i think it's cute
Lala

itik says:
cute

let's do it today says:
yar..
but coming from you guys?

itik says:
aww....................................
get used to it.




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hence the rest of the conversation(&probably my youth too), i was addressed as LALA. even Dicky thought it was funny &called me LALA too. i mean, it's Dicky you know? DICKY. how sissy can the KAKU get? :P

found my Corrine CD which had gone missing for months. AHAHHAIMSOHAPPY. listening to her amazing godsent voice is love:)
Someone special blogged @ 6:23 PM l

Your Uncommon Name Is:

Lester Maryetta Kanode

What Very Uncommon Name Should You Have?

like spanish:D I LOIKE. at least it doesnt mean LOFTY, which is what lela stands for in spanish.

You Are Cameo

You are understanding and very empathetic. You don't tend to have acquaintances. Everyone is your friend. And all of your friends tend to be friends. You have a knack for bringing very different people together.

What Color Orange Are You?

yar like Zafira &AHERM. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! zomg Zaf's gonna bite my ass when she gets this.


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last night was <3333. havent had so much msn-fun since a while. ohhhhZaf, thanks for the laughs:P that made my night. actually.....that made my whole month, BABY!!! LIKE BRING IT ON, JUNE. I'M SOOOOOO READAYYYEEE. &it's gonna be the 2-week break after this. FUCK OKAY?????? I CANT WAIT.

LET'S DO.
Someone special blogged @ 1:48 PM l

if there is one incident i could stop from happening, or wipe off from the history of this universe for that matter, is having known you. &vice versa. yar we had our high moments &it was hot but really, are we happy???? i know i'm not. i wish i hadn't known you &i wish you hadn't known me. not that way. yes, that way. that way of path we're going/have gone. come on, we're more than that.

pinch &punch on the first day of the month. in other words: SHIT LUH, OKAY? it's the middle of the year already. i haven't done anything!!!!!!!

you know i've been thinking. it's time i tell it as it is. no pretense no more. shall no longer hold back. i'll just show how much hate or love i have for anyone right into their faces. not going to be pretty, depending on where you are on the spectrum. but here's a consolation: right now i can't think of anybody i'd love to stab.

apparently i've been listening too much of Lavigne's songs :( it's getting me all mellow than i already am. i may have turned into a love cynic(so i want to believe) but love songs always get to me at the end of the day. i'm not so hardcore now, am i. that's the thing about me. no matter how rotten things turn out to be for me, in the end i find myself giving Ugly Fate a hug &Cruel World a second chance. it's like being trampled by them in the head &then kissing their asses after that.

why am i so foolishly forgiving. why am i such a big believer in hope? i never thought i'd ask myself that. never thought i'd be complaining about that. surely it's a good thing, being optimistic. but it doesnt feel right right now. i think i missed something in the big picture. &i wish to go back so i could hopefully see where i went wrong.

probably when i let you in.
Someone special blogged @ 6:14 PM l

JustLELA


alter ago?

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