...looked like the 'can't be bothered' type.

:O!!!!!!!!!!!

heart pain a bit la.

"is nursing what you wanted?" i had asked him.
"yes. my passion."

i gave him a standing ovation. then he posed me the same question and i said yes. only like after such a long pause. that was when he said, "you don't look like it."

"what do i look like?" i gasped.

"you looked like you can't be bothered gitu."

:O!!!!!!!!!!

HEART PAIN A BIT MORE. but it's cool la. he didn't look like he was purposely trying to put me down. so it's cool.

this is so typical of me. no wonder people run away from me. well, except for Fat la. he's aweshum. and Amos. that's not his real name though. but i called him Amos because he bought 2 bags of Famous Amos and shared them with me. and then there was that guy who helped me with admission. now i pro liao!

i got everyone's name except pressure-ulcher-shart guy.

let's just say the novelty has worn off la.

second day of attachment was sweet.

not.

slack, my arse.

if i hear another word about bed21 and how goddamn hot he is, i'll scream. it's like all the female student nurses are talking about him, and all the male student nurses are talking about them talking about him. i'm like, pick another topic please. hot is overrated. that, or maybe i'm gay.

hahahhahah cannot be. different taste, most likely. or maybe i'm the sort who hates to be in. as in, in 'in'. i guess i want to be different. not for the sack of being different. i guess novelty is my thing. ah this is giving me a headache. it's just that, people tend to enjoy something because everyone else is into it? and that's just wrong. well, that's just not me. can't helped it. sometimes i do that without even realising. am programmed that way. can't changed that.

however, there is one thing i can change. how i work. can't be bothered type????? Fat, are you serious????? this is wrong. i don't want to give people that impression? which hospital would hire me sia. xomg i don't want to think about it

:O HEART PAIN
Someone special blogged @ 10:52 PM l

was in time to catch CHRISTOPHER BROWN on Tyra Show. WHFJKSHG:KR#()%UHFDKJHQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he's perfect :)

goosebumps just thinking about him. xomg i got it bad la, please!!!!! HE'S JUST SO FLY, SO GRAND, SO HOT, SO SEX. HAHAHAHAH I'M GOING CRAZY IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE.

we went to watch Chingay in town that saturday.

yes, me and Chris.

NO LA. WISHFUL THINKINGGG.

as in Kama, Zaffy, Aisya and me:) I HAD BALLS OF FUN LA PLEASE. HAHAHHA. like i never stayed out til as close to midnight seh. in town some more and you know i hate town. and i had so much fun la alamak!!!!!!!!! macam tak happy jer, Lela. ish takderla. okay i'm talking to myself.

IM JUST SO HAPPY I DON'T KNOW WHY I THINK IT'S THE MAGIC OF CHRIS BROWN.

or maybe it's that ITE guy working in the same ward as me:D:D:D:D SERIOUSLY LEI. i mean, that's it! Taufik B's off the charts! he wins hands down! yea lor he is thaaaaaaaat handsome. yes. handsome. i never lable a guy handsome before lei. except T, but now i'm not sure anymore because there's ....... i didn't catch his name, shit. but i will tomorrow. i wish he couldn't scare me so much though.........

was doing admission with him. ..no wait i should start from the beginning:D like, first-day-of-attachment beginning.

two words. I LIKE. why? another two words: NO CI!!!!!(clinical instructor). on maternity leave! what luck! haha! another two more words: SISTER ROCKS. can you imagine that???? she is the nicest there is. and we? bunch of slackers. heh. no stress. FUN.

and then staff nurse called us. i turned. she said, "one of you do admission for bed 2." i was like orh. turned back round to see Yuwen, Maggie, Evelyn and Ruth gone. HAHAHAHHA. so i was like, CRAPPPPPP. i have such great friends.

bed 02 is an isolation room, see. and i took so long to gather the stuff for admission. by the time i got in, there was already an ITE student nurse inside, talking to the patient's relative. ...doing admission which i was supposed to be doing. "could you get me a pressure ulcer chart?" he suddenly said as i was about to leave.

where is the fuck is that? but no, because i was mesmerized by his ke-handsome-annya, nothing you can compare to in this world so instead i said: "yea sure." with a ridiculous you-can-put-your-trust-in-me-that-i-can-bring-you-a-pressure-ulcer-chart face:D

went to the admission trolley. not there. went to the nurses station. not there. i asked people around. didn't help. i went back to bed 02 where he was. suddenly there was so many people there. doctors and more relatives. i stood by his side, he looked at me expectantly. i wanted to die.

couldn't take it anymore: "this is going to sound very embarrassing. where's the pressure ulcer chart?" i whispered. only i didn't say 'pressure ulcer chart'. i said, "pressure ulcher shart."

.........OH COME ON. try saying pressure ulcer chart very fast!

"utility's room?" he said. "on the admission trolley?"

"searched there. not there." then i thought maybe i should search again. because i'm known to look for stuff with my knees, my elbows, anything but with my eyes. sometimes it could be just under my nose, but i wouldn't notice it until someone point it out to me. wave it in my face. hit my head with it.

so i went back to the utility's room for the 9284130th time, to look for a stupit pressure ulcer chart.

AINT THERE. this time i was sure. i searched again, just to be 1000000% sure. i was about to pull open the drawer when he came up behind me and went, "hey."

out came the whole fucking drawer. the contents fluttered to the floor. thank goodness the papers come in one pad, not separated or we would have a hard time for sure.

"you found it?"

i picked up the pad and was like trying to cover up the blond moment. "is this the one?" i said. "i think this is the one." shoved it in his hands and quickly tried to put the drawer back in.

"this is a turning chart," he said as-the-matter-of-factly.

"i knew that." snatched it back from him. "so how?"

"never mind then. eh. thanks, eh?" malay twang.

"okay!" my voice was like extra shrilly and i hated that. like WHAT is this LELA?????????? WHAT ARE YOU, SMITTENNNN?????

NO.

must get his name:D

funny conversation with Nabila. heh. GUESS WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT: whether its regarding
a)my pet cat
b)my mother
c)my canon

Abracadabra. says:
send to doctor lah

paul fell on an axe says:
memang nak
on friday

Abracadabra. says:
sedih sia
but its gonna be fine
i pray for you man

paul fell on an axe says:
thanks, man
im hopeless without it, man

Abracadabra. says:
I know,i know
its for the better

onto a more serious note, click here
Someone special blogged @ 7:13 PM l

the people who make my day:DDDDDDDDDDDDD had fun with you girls todaaaaay. and will have fun with you again tomorrow. xomg i cannot wait la please.

please ignore the title of this post:D INSIDE JOKEEEE.

i've found myself a new hobbyyyyyyyyyyyy HAHAHHA. in a form of stitchiing. this is going to be. so. fun. bus journeys to ang mo kio from bedok won't be so sad anymore.

i saw Ridwan on the fucking bus!? he is so fly :( AND I AM IMMUNE! BWAHAHHAHA. i mean, once bitten, twice shy la. loving this guy brought me so much drama and shit. kanna bullshit gyler babs :( here's the gist: it happened 2 years ago?? i wrote something about him and next thing i knew, some anonymous person who claimed to be his BROTHER haloscan-ed me and gave me a hard time.

duh as if i believed him. but i played along. not only that. rumours had it that R's guardian was THE vice principal... whom nobody liked. including myself. and i almost got into trouble with the VP?????????? or something???? because apparently he found out Stuff. so much drama, hor?

and and and some time then, someone added on MSN la. said he got my address randomly on a forwarded email........ and he knew so much stuff about me. usually i don't entertain things like this but he got me at "love your blog. your england damn good." HAHAHAHA. then i was like, how did you know about my blog........ anyway so i stayed on to see what else he had got in store for me........ he had quite alot in store for me.

"forget about Ridwan la. i know him. he's not a good boy. you deserve better. don't get younger guys la. i say this because i care for you and i dont want you to fall for his trap."

me went "uh?"

funny thing was, he disappeared from my msn some time after. like after the whole hoo-ha ended and i had honestly most surely moved on. tsk tsk tsk the things people do when they grow desperate. of course i'm including me. that's where the drama comes in, right?

i wish things were as drama now. i mean, it's so mundaneeeeeeeeee.

yay attachments next week. i try not to think about it but i can't la. so i try to think about the good stuff that comes with attaching: ..............normally i can't. haha. except that, i'll be looking forward to working with fun and amazing people like Evelyn, Siti Aisyah, Yuwen, Maggie.. okay la, and Christopher and Durrani. speaking of which, before the exam, Du was like, "Lela good luck... jangan luper next week attachments yerr."

"TAUUU," i said, Sriee-style:P

[edit] SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH MY CANONNNNNNNNNN. wei sher mo zhi yang?!?!?!(sp?) [/edit]
Someone special blogged @ 6:27 PM l

i found out what GXM is.

hahahahahhaa no wonder they come up with abbreviations. duh.

guess who gave me a call. he's like an assassin. comes from behind and does serious damage. i could have prevented it but you know la, i've no ID caller on my cellie. and i thought it was my mommie so i was like, "HOLLAAAAA."

he sounded like a corpse, i swear. like he was dying.

look what exams do to you :)

but i like. and i don't mean the exams.

was like, is it him is it him is itttt?????????? i know it sucks when you call someone and he or she goes like, "who's this?" you feel like hanging up and erasing that number right away. ..i know i feel that way:D so i didn't say it. anyway i knew it was him from his abang2 voice. didn't want to believe it!

are you kidding? of course i wanted to believe it.

why this is a surprise:D

i hate surprises.


but there are always exceptions.
Someone special blogged @ 6:59 PM l

how the fuck am i supposed to know what GXM stands for? or IVI. or POC. or HVS?

IVI:

Intelligent Vehicle Initiative
Interchangeable Virtual Instruments
Involvement Volunteers International
International Vaccine Institute
Industrial Valves India?
Instituto Valenciano de Infertilidad!!!!!!???????!

which one!

i hate abbreviations.
Someone special blogged @ 5:13 PM l

at the rate i was going, tugging my hair in frustration, trying to understand the law terms.. if i had continued, if i had ignored my inner voice crying for help, i'd go bald, and probably end up killing my own cat.

so i went out to de-stress :D in a form of SHOOTING HAHAHAHHA.

it was rather impulsive. but it was good therapy. because it's just me and the world. and everything is beautiful through the camera lens. yea i like being in my photographer trance. but i think it scares people. ..yea i definitely like it.

this is what i meant what i said golden tree trunks. PRETTY KANNNNN?

streets were empty and shops were closed. remind me of a ghost town. cool:D
something happened though.

see, i spotted this senior couple walking together down the stairs, using umbrellas for walking sticks. i raised the camera to my eyes. zoom on them. put them on focus..... skali two figures filled my viewfinder! i thought they were just passing by. but they didn't seem to eager to move aside. i lowered the camera. found myself staring at these two malay guys. and they were actually posing. i looked at them quizzically, mildly amused.

"can we have a picture?" one with the beanie said. he didn't sound like a typical malay. and he was actually speaking in english. "can we have a picture?" he repeated. gave me a Peace sign. as if on cue, his other friend stroke a violent pose. he reminded me of 50cent minus the crazy bling bling. because he was huge and he had beady eyes and the layers of clothes he wore..

i scrutinized them baggy-clad guys from head to toe, as if considering them. i looked like discipline mistress Mrs Sng when she was giving us a spot check on our attire. "No," i finally said. flatly. but of course i meant it humourously.

"why not?" beanie asked, making his way towards me. i reeled back almost like a reflex. beanie laughed and told me to relax la. i shrugged as if to say i'm cool. but i swear if he made any suspicious move, i was going to run like hell:P he asked for my name and i replied without missing a beat: "Ali." only to realise Ali is a male name.

Beanie looked perplexed. seriously! he didn't thought for a second that i was making it up. but 50cent was like, "that's my sister's name too!"

i took a while to get it........ ha-ha. 50cent is a comedian. pfft. haha okay la actually i was impressed with that quick remark.

they gave me another pose, but i shook my head like how you would when those annoying durian sellers try to sell you the bad durians. what's wrong with just one shot? since they were so sporting. but they are strangers. and there wasn't anyone around at all. so can't blame me for being wary.

"nice to meet you, Ali photographer," Beanie said. and they walked away. only to come back again, asking where was the nearest 7eleven. "can you lead us the way?"

i was like, no?????????? don't push your luck, boys! i know kickboxing! "sorry, i'm waiting for my friend," i lied. thank god for my otak penipu, as what Nabila would say:P then the embarrassing thing was, i bumped into them again just when i was leaving!!!!!!!

"where's your friend, Ali?" Beanie mocked. hoho he got me there, he knew he got me. but i thought, what the heck. just continue the tease:

"decide to meet him somewhere else la." but i was smiling so hard so it was a giveaway. somehow i didn't care anymore anyway. i wasn't intimidated already. thought i was giving them green light and wanted to walk me home so i told them to bugger off. i told them nicely to bugger off:D wouldn't want to offend them.

"see you around, Ali. and introduce your friend to us one day," they said, still mockingly.

i told Momster about them when i got home. kanna lectured for that!!! what if something happened had happened to you and what-not. my sister pointed out that no one would ever want to rape someone like me.................. uh huh yea and everybody wants to rape you, Syak!:P

those guys were probably gay anyway :)
Someone special blogged @ 12:07 AM l

Sepet(click here!) is The movie. don't remember any other movie in this region that has moved me. sigh!

this is purely coincidental but it's true, i remembered having written something along Sepet's story line before. wouldn't say i was inspired by this friend who was going out with a chinese girl then............. but i just liked the whole idea. not that it was novel to me, no. just didn't thought of actually writing about it. but i did. and it was years ago. oh you know, during those times where i had so much time in my hand, unlike now where so many things are happening and it feels like a scene where you're in the speeding car cutting into lanes but you're not actually driving it because your hands ain't on the steering wheel but they are clutching tightly to the sides of the seat, praying for dear life!!!!!!!!!!!!

kind of like where i'm heading right now, generally speaking. but anyhoo. my Ah Loong didn't die. couldn't bear to let him. i'm into happy endings. it's the least i can do. my life can't be perfect, so my stories are. i don't mean grammar and vocabulary wise though.

can't wait to watch Gubra:P

how's my studying? not so good. i can't study at home at all! i get distracted so easily. and my loser sisters are never cooperating with me. sometimes i want to just kick their sorry ass, and then run for my life. because when they get furious, they turn ugly. but i really really want to kick them!!!!!!!!!! Momster brought me chocolate fudge sundae from Macs <3 it melted when it got home but so cares?

you've heard this before but xomg i can't wait for the 4-week term breakkkkkkkkkkk. i want to go back to writing. and shooting! and hanging out with PEOPLE, not books........ but thinking about break makes me think of attachments.

i'm a bussie, for i love long bus journeys. i used to say that i love going to school, but i don't really enjoy school. i enjoy the journey, but not being in school to study. it's kind of the opposite now. i hate going to school/attachments but once i'm there, it's a different story. still, i love long bus journeys.. ..home:D

and as if i'd forget my sayang's birthday. happy 19th, Ernest Sum Kum Hong:P i hope you get your dreams:)
Someone special blogged @ 12:41 AM l

am having stomachache. ate too much oranges i think. was at the bus stop, munching away. and my mouth was full of oranges seeds it was so difficult to talk. i don't know why i didn't thought of spitting them out into the nearest bin. could have saved me from embarrassment, and the people from kanna hit in the eye with an orange seed when i talked to them. duh, lela.

happy chinese new year eve!!!!!!! :)

Momster took a look at my monthly planner and she saw a date circled and written beneath it: photo date with Faisal. and she was like, "who's Faisal?"

i didn't know why but i lied: "it's Fasila. spelling error."

"huh."

"yup. nice girl, you know.."

life is so mundane right now. wait til attachment starts ey!!! i'd be complaining and going, "too much work! too much drama! let's get this shit over and fucking done with!"

mundaaaaane. and it rained today! like what!!!! but it stopped, and it was super sunny and pretty, i took comfort in that :) and snapped a couple of shots from the window in the living room. i like how the tree trunks turn golden in colour where the sun shines down on it............ it's very pretty. looking at it brightens me up.

songs on the radio are beginning to bore me a bit. where are the good songs???

i hope i can make it to Nana's little outing this March :) i hope the attachments won't tire me out la.... it will be the five of us. haven't gone out for the longest time.. wait, we've never actually gone out. as in the five of us. it will be a turning point in our friendship. turning point towards more happy memories and strong bonds, or turning point down. depends on what happens, and depends on whose shoes you're wearing on that day.

why is it that all sort of cool ideas come to my head in the middle of the crucial time like exams? where i've got so little time to make these ideas come to life. in a form of words, i mean. my note for once is not filled with random doodles and ideas, but mind maps on the factors that affect the glomerulus filtration rate. i'm turning into a nerd.

thank god all insanity is only temporary
Someone special blogged @ 8:53 PM l

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

i usually do not like to refer back to my notes after sitting for the exam for obvious reasons. the next time i was supposed to touch them would be when i wanted to throw them in the bin where they belong when things are not of use anymore. but while waiting for Momster, i was flipping through the notes. gosh the last time i did that was 20 minutes before the paper outside the exam hall. i was nervous, let me confess. i don't want another C+ this semester, please. and this time i mugged okay? it's only natural to get a B or something higher than a C!!!

no, no pressure at all:D i'm cool as a goddamn cucumber.

i think it's a good thing, that i'm confident enough now. to actually go back to my notes after the paper and try to recall the questions which had bugged me, and then see if my tikam-tikan skills have improved over the decade...... usually i wouldnt dare to. why torture myself, i said. but now, hey i'm confident and i'm mature enough to accept the fact that if i got a question wrong, then i got it wrong. no pressure.

so okay i got a few questions wrong, i found out. there goes 5 marks like that xomg i wanted to hit my head with a donkey. DUH lelaa!

i found out this semester, my table is next to Durrani's. xomg as if the exams is not stressful enough. you've got to put him of all people, next to me:P at least i didn't voice out my grievances! as soon as Du saw me, he was like, "alamak. aku mesti fail punyer. faaaail.." as if all hopes and confidence of passing had gone out the door because apparently i chased away luck. i smirked and was like, happy valentine's day to you too...

next paper. 1029!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(((((((





no pressure.
Someone special blogged @ 5:14 PM l

this how i look like after a 3-hour mugging. time was 2-ish.... in the fucking morning!

Mac is such a doll :) dare i say he's my best friend in the whole wide world. because he doesn't break my heart and i don't break his. ....even if i ever did, he doesn't give a hairball and love me unconditionally. selfish of me. maybe that explains alot la hor? i guess i'm spending V.Day with him this year. ..again. haha!

this is depressing. i hate exams.
Someone special blogged @ 2:41 PM l

ever had that feeling. everything is so meaningless. any attempts to salvage the situation are futile. and power98's playing Goodbye My Friend. oh for fuck's sake.

at least there's Atiah:D

PCK finale made me tear. i love bittersweet endings. and Pierre Png is hotsex there xomg <3!!!!!!

i tried walking about the house with my eyes closed. pretending i was blind. was just done watching Daredevil, see. Jennifer Garner is gorgeous!!!!! and so is Collin Farrell gosh the world is filled with beautiful beautiful people la! okay back to me already.

so i was walking about the house with my eyes shut, hands outstretched.. baby steps. very intricate baby steps. i took like 7 minutes to walk from the kitchen to the living room. and i live in a small 4-room flat. okay, let's be honest. i did opened my eyes a wee bit. couldn't help it. it was almost suffocating, and i was practically screaming inside. i asked myself, why am i doing this again? pretending to be blind and risking myself to 1000001 dangers? well, just putting myself in another person's shoes. a blind person's shoes.

i'd be a natural if i were born without any sight. but there i was, only experimenting. like i was just watching the television 90 seconds ago? can't expect me to be good at navigating with my eyes close.

i thought it'd be cool to be blind :O hahahaha. okay, okay. you'll have an excuse to wear shades indoors. then again, to lose such a wonderful sense that is our sight, just because it's cool to wear shades indoors?? gosh the price we pay for vanity. and that's the shit thing about movies and televisions! they delude you!!

if i were to lose my sight, ...........i'd cry my eyeballs out. literally. because it wouldn't make any difference then. am i right? after i'd cry my eyeballs out, i'd get a really cool pair of shades, a walking stick which acts as a murder weapon... i don't think there'll be any problem getting these items. because i'd be selling away my 800 dollar Canon Powershot. why would a blind girl need a camera anyway? it's like a fish with a skateboard.

that would be the hardest of all: to learn to accept the finality of the tragedy. i won't be able to shoot anymore. naturally. won't be able to look up and admire the clouds and wonder out loud if the sky could get any bluer. won't be able to see beautiful people!!!!!!!!!!! that's the ultimate. and when i say beautiful people, i don't mean Farrell, or Garner or Png, or myself even.

im sure i can still write when im blind. only i won't be able to edit what i write. there'll be 109429517591 of spelling errors. and this time it won't be because of ignorance or my quirky fetish for the sound of speedy fingers hitting the keyboards.

i won't be able to read :( not unless it's in braille. that would take a while to learn, especially since i weren't born blind. ...not that i am blind(physically), i'm just giving you a little situation.

actually, i'm giving myself..a situation.

at least i'd still have my sense my hearing. IF i were blind. i could still listen to music. listen to the beautiful voices of beautiful people. maybe i'd be a better friend if i were blind. that goes without saying. i think if all of us were blind, this world would be a much happier place. think about it.

i've said my piece. thank you for listening/reading. goodbye!
Someone special blogged @ 11:36 PM l

i am so unmotivated today. just today. i could have done sooooooooooooooooo many things like

1. GO IJC OPEN HOUSE. to like finally see Twins after many many months!!!!!! fuck i miss them :((((((((((((((((
2. "get something from popular and draw" and just hang out with Ryan :) fuck i haven't been drawing. imagine the amount of stress i can release from sitting down in a park with a pencil and a paper and taking time to observe and draaaaaaaaaw. .......actually, imagine the amount of stress i'm risking myself into. hahahah. okay no la. drawing can be stimulating :) especially with a whacky partner like Ryan.
3. OF COURSE. study date with Aisyah. sheesh Lela :(

why didn't I? because i couldn't make up my mind. whose heart to break. my time management sucks. not that i have any. and maybe that's the problem. can't help it. it gives me the feeling of being controlled. like i'm being restricted from freedom. this hour, do this. that hour, do that. tak sukerrrrrrrrrr.

my m&m craze is back, ladies and gents.

okay i am sick and tired of my aimless hair i fucking need a haircut. but i'll have to wait til after attachments. ..............i don't know why but i just have to. xomg i can't wait for the 4 weeks break. LIBERATIONNNNNN! enjoys gylerrrr2! some assholes have 9, but i don't give an eyeball. aaaaaaand why do i have a feeling this next posting in 2/3 weeks time will be a fun one???? why ar?????? :DDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

i have this wikid-giler-babs idea of gathering all the couples i know, round them up, and send them to the moon in a rocket and never come back because they irk me to bits. hahahahah no la, just kidding.

xomg i can see people reading this and thinking i'm a bitter and sadistic LOSER who's spending V. Day on her own again.

which is kindar true actually. fucking sad. but not completely. i'm not sad, i told you i was just kidding. what i wanted to say was this:

i have this wikid-giler-babs idea of gathering all the couples i know, round them up and shoot them.

as in, photograph them:DDDDDDDDDDDDD

BEST KANNNNNNNNNNN??????????

i have this aweshum location in mind. (NOT sentosa please i'm sick of that fuck of a place. which is funny because i haven't been there for a reeeeeeeally reeeeeeally long time. but maybe because sentosa is so overrated and cliched i'd be caught dead shooting there:O!!)

so i have this aweshum location in mind. but i may need the couple to be there like super duper early in the fucking morning because that's where the weather is fly. ..and there are no cars and no freaky people smoking glue behind the bins.................. :O HINT THERE.

so. calling all couples!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE holler back. think about it, while i get my revision done:O
Someone special blogged @ 5:08 PM l

i was like, WHAT! so the next time we'll be seeing each other dozing off at lecture halls will be somewhere in April.......when we're in Year Two!? YEAR TWO????

i like being Year One, you know. don't know why. just do.

okay. here's an overview of today's classes: bio in the morning for 2 hours. then clinical lab at 3 followed by bio tutorial at 5. break in between grand total of 4 hours. clinical lecturer had casually asked, "how did you all fill in the time during the 4 hours break?" Elton replied nonchalantly, "skip morning lecture."

i had laughed. because that was exactly what i did:O only because i couldnt wake up this morning:D

was already in campus by 2. spent it well, though it was only for an hour, by studying with Aisya at this aweshum aweshum spot we discovered. it's at the School of Life Science. which is the building across our School of Health Science. xomg they have cool stuff there. and the environment on study at is so much more conducive because the place is more open and the benches are cleverly plotted, if you know what i mean.

bought 2 dollars worth of wedges and nuggets:D never again, oh god. the makcik damn generous la. i was like staring at the huge packet she had handed me and said, "dude, we can share this with the whole class." and which we did! during clinical. lecturer didn't seem to be bothered. we were right under her nose lor. but yea:) wouldn't be able to finish them by myself.

what a way to end Year One:) we had bio tutorial with Dr. Wong at 5pm. yup. 5. kind of late isn't it? normally bio tutorial's on the friday but we had pushed it to thursday so that there won't be any classes tomorrow! duh! so that means i'm freeee tomorrow!!!! and tomorrow is the release of the O's......... ASILAAAAAAA!!!!

this is a little weird, but i think i like Dr. Wong. disappointed, because i doubt he'll be taking us again in Year Two. we had a blast with him. xomg i wish i could rewiiiiiiiiiind. i want to be sitting at that stool, listening to him and then laughing at his deadpan jokes about complications of viruses and what not. how come i don't remember him being this humourous the previous weeks he had took us????? why did we have to take him for granted???? i would have looked forward to bio tutorials. fridays would have been fun.

but oh well. basically, today had been memorable. Elton was exceptionally funny today too:) hahahha. and awww, got a hug from Paul. and for once, it wasn't followed by a bite:P i swear i can be so slenge sometimes... paul:"lelaaa, i miss you." me:"...how come?" paul:"tsk."

today was memorable. 080107:D

went to AMK library to continue studying, Aisya and I. studied for one hour. then we had dinner at Pizza Hut. thanks for the treat, love! it was a treat right???? hahahhaha. we were so fucking full and bloated after that la please xomg. sinful, sinful!!!!!!! pre exam celebration, she said :D

Momster finished her overtime today at 1010pm, and i was riiiiiiight on time, even though we left Pizza Hut like 15 - 20 minutes before 1010pm. because it takes longer when you're on your hands and knees and crawling....... i was thaaaaaaat full. like i could collapse and fall asleep right there in the middle of the pavement.

pictures:) excuse my camera phone kthanksbye.

my w700i has no zoom. ...so yea. haha. i need a haircut.



"salah aiming la, Aisya. mulot ke maner, makanan ke maner!" :P
might just accept Paul's offer to give me a haircut
what happens when you have excess mini-slices of ham/(actually i think it's chicken) left? you spell out your name with them!!!! and the slice of mushroom was too cute to be consumed la.
i suggested putting an ice cube instead. period. ha-ha! okay not funny.



day well spent :)
Someone special blogged @ 11:10 PM l

so Cousin Elly and I headed outzzzzzzz. we've been talking about going out and shooting, we finally got to do just that:D from Geylang to Clarke Quay to Bugis/Arab Street. plus Starbuck-ed at Liang Court. sandwich for dinner at Mosi Camel, this rundown place along Bali Lance which i wouldn't recommend you go by yourself.....................................................

suddenly everyone has a prodigy in photography huh! :D Haron met us at Mosi Camel. made such a 'grand' entrance..... guy on a bike has never been any more uncool:P apparently pulling on my hair was his way of saying hello! i think he has forgotten i'm turning eighteen. am no more the 11-year-old awkward girl who listens to S Club 7:P

Haron is Cousin Elly's best friend. well, they used to date each other and that was how i got to know him. he was really nice looking back then but now he's so burok.................. either that or maybe my taste in the opposite sex has matured:D:D:D:D

"Hey Haron! Ela takes great photos!" Elly said as Haron took a seat between us. at this point, i pretended to be self absorbed with my drink; i don't know how to respond to compliments and praises.......... "she's damn good. like you!!!"

i slipped. "huh? Haron shoots too?"

xomg okay.

we should unite all shutterbugs and start a cult or something:) honestly, i was a little surprised. pleasantly surprised. i bet he was too, of me. i look at him now in a different light. because after he placed his order, he took off with Elly's Canon, came back like 7 minutes later with random but very very brilliant shots of the old shophouses along the street. and of course, his bike. i was smitten. by his shots.

and he's so modest about it.

imagine how nervous i got when he browsed through the pictures i took. i actually had butterflies in my stomach and i wanted to puke out the sandwich i had eaten. i wanted to know what he thought of them, but at the same time i didn't want to. aaaaahhhh!!!!! i'm paranoid.

i've so much more in common with Elly, other than writing and photographying:O we have almost the same handwriting. and i reminded Haron of the younger her. how disturbing. and very flattering at the same time too:D:D:D because Elly is Cool. she used to skate with Taufik when they were teens!!!!!!!! (but she didn't remember, and she's beating herself up for that)

got home really late therefore. probably the last time Momster let me out with Elly:P:P hehehehehhe. overall, i had fun. i want to do this again, please :)

Elly taught me that if you're going to wear a mini skirt, never wear it with slutty top. ooooohhhhh live and leaaarn.
day
night. ..okay la not really. it's just in B/W:P i suck when it comes to shooting in night mode so i wouldn't even try:D:D:D:D

elly: "bla bla bla bla Haron are you listening to me????"
elly: "FINE. be that way."

arab street at night. this disastrous shot did not do justice to how beautiful this place really is. ....okay beautiful in what sense????:D yes it's dark and deserted but being there, i couldnt help find solace in the solitude......... there's something about this place i find really comforting..... maybe it's just me.
Haron after Elly confiscated the camera. he was like at complete lost. like, what am i doing here with my ex-girlfriend and her little cousin? hahahha. a true photographer indeed.
this is how i turned Elly into a graffiti

Someone special blogged @ 4:29 AM l

motivation. i think if everyone is motivated, driven, inspired, like right to the core, then there's abso-fucking-lutely nothing that we cannot do. i mean it! and it makes sense, doesn't it. it's not how smart you are, or how talented or how passionate even. it's how motivated you are. unfortunately there's no such thing as motivation-batteries. or is there????????:O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

brain research shows that "our motivational templates are formed during the first few years of life" and that is when we were infants. like right smack out of mommie's womb and hello world. yea. and that our motivation-batteries are "fueled by unconditional love." supplied by who else if not our parents????/childhood caregivers????

"the delicate balance in the biochemistry of an infant's brain is stimulated by input from caregivers." huh what??? okay you see, an infant is able to absorb their caretakers' emotions like a tiny sponge. every time an infant sees love in the caretaker's eyes, that child's right brain will release specific hormones which are precisely what is needed in later life for motivation, concentration and eventually accomplishment (of a certain task). the whole process is much more complicated than this though but this is just the gist la hor:) i don't want to bore/confuse you with all the jargon and bio-scientific terms.

back to the topic: so ideally, if you've got perfect parents who shower you with TLC and consistent, reliable guidance and reassurance and reflect strong positive emotions and behaviours, very likely you'll grow up successful. not going to be a linear process though because we all know the ladder to success is often unpredictable. but when you've the ideal amount of motivation, you're unstoppable.

i'm not saying kids from abusive, stressed-out, sleep deprived neophyte parents with health problems or dead-end jobs etc will grow up a failure though. but they'll have more difficulties as opposed to kids from ideal families and they are most likely to give up. ideal is the key word here. please don't go killing your parents and blaming them for what they've turned you into. by right, blame your grandparents. no, blame your great great great great great great great great great great grandparents. it goes aaaaaaaaaaall the way back the generations to the amoebas practically:D

but it won't change anything. you are what you've become.

i talked to Momster about this. and it was so spot on. i'm not trying to imply anything about my sisters here, but this all explains it: why Lina's the person she is now, compared to Syak, who if very enthusiastic and optimistic and very much driven. Momster had been under postpartum depression quite a bit(which is normal) after my second sister was born and often got into rows with dad over trivial matters.

so much for self-motivation :(

Someone special blogged @ 9:20 AM l

do this anonymously in the haloscan comment thingie!

1. One secret(about you).
2. One compliment.
3. One random thing.
4. One love note.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. A hint to whom you are.

this is going to be fun. and depressing too, depending on the result:O but anyhoos GOOD MORNING to ya'll. i had a goooood night sleep. because i deserved one i believe. haha look at me la i'm a slacker. history is repeating itself:O 2007 sucks. hahahahha.

i accomplished an almost impossible mission(completing the essay and actually proud as hell of it) and it's like the hurdle is over!!!!!! i'm so complacent. i'm watching tv, i'm ..watching tv, doing anything but mugging? and exams in a week's time what the hell????

you won't be hearing from me anytime soon. i'll make sure of that:O well. maybe by wednesday la because i've no classes on wednesday and Momster has no work on wednesday too so i might go out and shoot. or just go out. or..sleep in, i don't know.

it's official. hiatus 8th Feb onwards.

this is going to be so difficult.
Someone special blogged @ 9:20 AM l

who wants to read my essay on how to write an essay? who? who??? HAHAHHAHAHHAHA.

Shafiq, who had helped me type it out while i rushed to get ready for school(it was 1000!!!!! class was at 1110!!!!), said it was phenomenal; "Reader's Digest-ish." i had promised him 2 bucks initially but was obliged to increase the amount when he said that.... but xomg imagine that. imagine the money:D:D:D:D i'll get paid right, surely? how much do you think i should charge my essay? an essay done in 2 days.

stayed up the whole saturday night. was on the third draft. i thought it was it! printed it out, all pretty:) this is very self-conceited but i fell in love with it. SKALI THE NEXT DAY, i read it through and was like, URGH. what CRAP of an essay is this???????? am i suppose to wow the lecturer with this????? what was i thinking last night????? shredded the draft. usually i never shred my drafts. only crush them. because i love to look back on them and laugh at myself......nervously.... and then wish i have shredded it in the first place...........eh? but anyway

shredded the draft and started a new one from scratch :( sacrificed FOOTBALL, OKAYYYYEEE???? not really. but i didn't pay as much attention la. skipped dinner too. the 4th draft, i was writing with vengeance. frankly, i was feeling really low. it wasn't a nice feeling la, when you had stayed up to complete a project, but in the end you couldn't use it because it sucked. like all your effort down the drain, not recognised. i could have covered a module! even better, i could have SLEPT.

but football lifted me up. because LIONS WONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! syiok, man!!!!!! suddenly nothing else mattered. not even the essay. indeed the essay didn't matter. i chunked the draft aside, went to bed at 11 with a ridiculous smile on my face. how ironic is that? i woke up the next morning(TODAY!!) around 8 and panicked like there's no tomorrow.

i think i work better under pressure. WRONG. hahahahahha. actually, its the drafts, because they tell me what work and what don't. the last didn't. so i knew which direction i should be heading. or should not be heading. writing is all trial and error anyway. AND I LEARNT SOMETHING OUT OF THIS. that if you're stuck, take a break:D sleep, even. then continue the next day with a fresh mind. nothing can go wrong. if you're lucky. i was:D

when i watched the essay being printed out, i couldn't help but weep. think mother in the labour room, baby being delivered. MY BABY! in my case: MY HARDWORK. MY ESSAY!! HAHAHAHHAHA. wait strike that. haha. i wept. i didn't laugh definitely not.

but i laughed when Someone said these to me: "i will try to ask you out la one day, when we're both free." firstly, you don't TRY to ask someone out. especially when you have a girlfriend:O!!!!!!!!! secondly, don't you find it odd how he makes it sound like he's doing me a favour, like as if i'm desperate and i want to go out with him but i don't want to show it so he wants to make it easier for me and therefore say, "i will try to ask you out." WHATTTTTTTTTT??????? this is so absurd.

funny how he only looks for me when he has problems with his girlfriend.

i found a short cut to school! HAHAHA. okay no. more like just a shorter route. so i don't have to walk along that really long walkway from the interchange to the entrance. CHYEAH! hahahha. yea.

WE LEARNT CPR TODAAAAAAY. i can't wait to do CPR on like, a real person. ..i think. haha. QUICK somebody please choke on your fishball and faint! i want to do CPR! let me give you the kiss of life!

i think after having said that, people are scared to faint la.
Someone special blogged @ 3:31 PM l

i don't know why but i brought my camera along today. and it's a friday, and tutorial just ended for the day. aisya had been bugging me to shoot her. so i was like, hell yea. and Evelyn happened to be there. skali the next thing i knew Eera was running in my direction. literally. apa lagi. that boosted my adrenalin.

i was like, get the whole kampong down, man!!!!!!!!!!

potential model:D she can really work it, man!


i wanted funky fierce. but i kept forgetting Evelyn was there so most of the time i was conversing in malay. hahaha! hence this shot:







the satisfaction after it all was indescribable la! but it's the process that makes it so fun. so much pandemonium and drama behind the shots<3

remember hor, girls? next friday? wear something nice ;)
Someone special blogged @ 9:23 PM l

"i'm not going to see," was what i said when Norain put up our marks for us to check. "i'm not going to see what grade i get. no way ho say..." then quite anxiously, i pushed through the crowd to see what grade i got.

D.

but it doesn't affect me. much. at least i won't let it. a but demoralising la. like :O!! but kindar expecting it. so the blow wasn't so traumatic. it's not the final grade anyway. so this means i really need to mug hard for the final paper on the 15th. A, here i come!!!!!!!!!

i think i'm weird. because when you tell me to do something, i'll just end up doing the opposite. like Momster would say, "can you please get out of bed now?" i wouldn't. i just wouldn't. i'm rebelious like that. you can tell me to hurry up, i'd take my time. i can't help it la! i try to do as i'm told but i just can't. it's this thing in me that's just want to prove to people that, hah you're not the boss of me!

but i'm not going to look at it as a problem, or as one of my many bad traits. instead i'm going to look at it this way: "hah i won't let you boss me! you can't bring me down!" i'm that sort. like for example, you come to me and say, "HAH you so can't sing!" instead of running to the corner, crying, you'll find me taking up singing classes and work my vocals. and then you will beg me to sing at your birthday bash.

that is if i got nothing better to do la. hahahahha. normally, i'd probably just stick my tongue out at you. like i did to this little kid who pointed his middle finger at me. i swear i don't know what's his problem.

i realise this whole entry is so contradicting. well, maybe to put it simply, i'm complex.

you know who i've been missing? ERNEST. that gayass faggot :) whom i adore. it was so odd. i was just thinking of him. not in a gay kind, please. ha-ha. yea i was just like, hm haven't heard from ernest for a while and then skali he smsed: "Lela hi! was thinking of you."

or so i wish.......

he texted to say how i didn't tell him that Hannan had transferred to Innova. he frust la. heh. i knew it all along:) Ernest have always had a crush on him. HEHEHEHEHHEHE. okay i'm just kidding. he has a girlfriend already la what the hell. never wait for me. hahahahhahahahaha!

this is what happens when Lela gets a D, ladies and gents. peace.
Someone special blogged @ 5:32 PM l

JustLELA


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