wow. fucking wow :)


2006 has been crazy. crazy year, but can beat neither 2005, or 2003. or july 1989 even:P cheeky cheeky! what has made 2006 such a wonderful year? wait, whoever says 2006 has been wonderful???? okay lor, to an extent. the fact that i'm still alive and kicking, that's pretty darn wonderful isn't it?

counting down to the new year with renewed vigor and hope. but still reaching for that same dreams and aspirations that have driven us this far. and still driving.. i'm still Lela, still loving you. cheesy cheesy!

but honestly speaking, doesn't feel like a new year at all. frankly, it's no biggie. man ran out of ideas as to what to name the month after December. we're making a big deal out of nothing. i mean it's silly. people only thought of change and start making new resolutions just because it's a new year? it's superficial, don't you think? "yay, new year. time to start anew!" and then there you go making the same mistakes you did the last year.

:O i'm just being honest. or maybe i'm just bitter because i'm spending new year alone. a-fucking-gain. but i'm not going to wallow myself in self-pity because i'm okay i promise. i'm used to this. almost ironically enjoying the ....company of Mr. Solitude.

so. 2006.

1. acquired a Passion for the visual art: photography. embracing this new love. bought a $800 Canon Powershot S3 IS. time seems to crawl from day to day yet moving with a pace unmatched. but i love how photography teaches me to slow down and enjoy life for the moment. it's all about observing and appreciating things people normally would have overlooked. i don't get swept away with the crowd, i'm in control. i'm the captain of my own ship!!!!!

there's a quote which goes, "a fool sees not the same tree that the wise man sees." and i believe that there are things nobody would see if i didn't photograph them. i'm no pro; what i know about photography can fit the back of a stamp, really. all i do is recognise what is in front of me, set up, and take a picture. don't ask, "how to take a good picture?" because the hardest part is not the shooting, but the recognising.

2. resocialisation, from a secondary to a tertiary student. Peirce secondary to Nanyang polytechnic. i don't know about you, but that's a pretty big step to take, for a girl like me who loathes change.. with a Passion. but, hey. look at me now:P look where i am. it wasn't so bad. i think i quite like it. i've made aweshum friends:) you know who you are. thanks for making my 2006. the class of 0622, every single fucking one of youuu. thanks for making me look forward to school.

making friends have not been easy for me, if you know me. keeping the old ones are equally difficult. both require sacrifices. maybe i haven't sacrificed enough, but i'm glad for those who stayed. thanks from the bottom of my heart, those who have beared with me:):) hope there'll be many more years to come.

Noratiah Larry, looking forward to see you in singapore in 2007:P

3. of course. nursing.

i picked nursing because of the Passion to help others. i had ZERO idea of what was in store for me. ZERO. i came clueless. now i dare say nursing is NOT what you think it is. it is more than just scrubbing old folks' backs and cleaning their asses. it's more than just physical. deeper than spiritual.. ....in other words, it's not easy. hoho it's not easy.

i'm weeping right now. weeping. what have i gotten myself into??? i admit i was naive. but alas! i'm not saying i regretted picking this course.

september 2006, i was thrown to Changi General Hospital. my very first clinical attachment. like i said, i came clueless. and scared shit. because i had no idea what was going to happen. worst still, i had zero faith. i told you i was scared. but i composed myself. told myself to go with it, and just have fun. that seems to be my motto in life. it's a good motto i think we all should make it our motto.

boy did i have fun. to an extent!!!! because i learnt alot. especially about myself. and that i could do it. i could make a difference in people's lives(in the most unglamarous way HAHAHAHA), like i've always wanted to. that's why i picked nursing right? right. i've also learnt the ugly side of nursing. hohohohoho. i think that, i'm still going to have to get used to, seeing my next attachment will be in 3 days time...

do i see myself in this profession in 3 years time? that i can't say yet. because there's still so much i want to do................ :(

4. another love. in a form of a boy. but he got away. or has he????? and then another boy, who has especially been there for me throughout this year. this other boy, whom i've gotten too strong with for too long, whom i've cried my eyeballs out for, who taught me that people leave... even though he had tried to convince me otherwise. but who's he kidding right?

why does that sound familiar?

5. this year has been the most dramatic year for the Ismail household......

"ooooh Lela's a NURSE!!"
"for the 198427th time, i'm not YET one!!!",

and then there's Momster, who had gone through 4 months without any job and now working with NTUC at the new building at AMK Central. how did we do it again??? 4 months with zero income???? haha.

then there's Lina who dropped out of school and went to a 'private' one. from dying her hair brown, then red, then getting green and blue and purple coloured contacts, and getting multiple ear piercings without any consent. major rows with Momster because of her new lifestyle.

then Syak sudden love for ..everything..? MCR, and the guitar, which she has started learning on her own now i am sooooo proud. and she's 12 right? i don't remember listening to punk screamo rock at 12. and having a best friend whom she calls every night. that, i envy a lot. her PSLE's done, and she picked Peirce of all schools. she's into coffee now, and books, and she owes a scribble doodle book like i do, and she does sketches too.

she's like mini me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only she did stuff at a much younger age. she's lucky. she has me. i didn't have anyone. because at 12, i had to grow up:(

i've grown up. duuuuuuuuude. i've wised, yet i haven't changed at all. i'm still the same Lela, same dreams, same visions, and holding on strong to the same old faith, beliefs and love that has brought me where i am now, that has made me the person that i am now.

bring it on, 2007.
Someone special blogged @ 7:53 PM l

i'm looking and i'm laughing my head off now. HAHAHA. lela feeling ATM kappa!? kuakuakua. photographers should stay behind the lens la right? it feels so weird to look at what you shoot and seeing yourself in it. like, lela seriously??? stick to something you're good at??? haha??? okay.

i got my sister to model today:D but a different sort of model. i haven't been drawing, see............................. no i didn't sketch a portrait of her. i'll scan and show ya one of these days :) it almost didn't happen because i was so rusty and Lina kept shifting and i kept telling her off and she kept threatening to toss the camera into oblivion but anyhoos. i like the result nevertheless:D because i think you do the best when you don't stress about doing the best?

okay i think i need to get something straight :(

you know i like to write, right? you know being an author is like my crazy crazy ambition? i create stories because that's what authors do? so it's normal that i think alot. dream alot. imagine alot. like, what if this happens? what if that happens? what if i fall in love? what if i fall in love with him? or him? oh her??? what if it didn't work out? what if it did? all sorts of things.

then i write about them.

i'm trying to say, the stuff i write, are merely the result of my imagination/daydreams/creations. it has nothing to do with anything in reality!!!!!!! but if you find them familiar, it's all purely coincidences.

kind of.

where was i?

drama. drama unfolds all around you. i swear my friends are a dramatic bunch :) it's a compliment. they lead such interesting lives la! compared to my mundane one. that's why i pick up photography......and that's why i'm such a busybody. okay no la.. i just like to listen to my friends' stories.

and then i write about them:D

not really. i just let it inspire me.

my life can be dramatic too. then i write about it. it may be about someone. it may be TO someone. i won't deny that la hor. but you should know i tend to stretch alot. pleeeease take note that what i write do not equals to what i feel truly. i merely pretend. like role play. that's it, man. because if i were to write what i feel, it would be boring.

okay la okay la. what i write? take it with a pinch of salt. that's all i'm saying. i exaggerate. right? i'm a girl with many faces. scary? a little bit. but primarily, i exaggerate la hor. but just remember, this is just lela after all. and if you know me, you know i'm cool.

please make my year and tell me that all that i've said, makes sense. nothing beats being understooded, correct?
Someone special blogged @ 12:51 AM l

it's Front Row Friday!!!! and Syak is sitting by the radio because Shan Wee is interviewing Ray Toro the lead guitarist of MCR. luckily it wasn't Gerard Way, or else she'd be hysterical right now. would probably shriek her head off in delight. tsk tsk tsk. kids these days.

if it were Mikey Way, i'd just die la:D like after the interview? yea. hurhur.

it was sunny right? friday? yea. i couldn't go out to shoot so i shot indoors because the sun was shining in very beautifully. i couldn't get anyone to model for me so i was my own model :( which was BORING oh god never againnnn!!! and INFURIATING because my arm can only bend so much?? and the camera is heavy kind of. so angles were limited.

hahaha as if i knew what i was doing anyway.

there was once i got my sister to shoot one. but seeing her together with the camera, just an arm's length from the window was enough to send shivers down my spine. i grasped it back from her and shooed her away. i don't like people watching me when i'm shooting. it's an intimate thing so i'm shy about it.

but anyhoos i like how some of them turned out. B&W does wonders.

i finally got the balls to check out my attachment schedule. because you know how i like to NOT know stuff. suddenly i felt cold all over. xomg. am i looking forward to it, or am i not looking forward to it? what the fuck is going to happen on the 18th and 19th of january?

i never liked surprises.

i'm sure it's nothing la. hahahahhaha(nervous laugh). but i hate NOT knowing stuff. don't fucking keep me in suspense because i might just drop dead before it gets to me.

so i'm exaggerating.

so it's funny: i like NOT Knowing stuff and continue staying ignorant because it's blissful even if it's temporary. and also i hate NOT knowing stuff and being kept in the dark with the nagging feeling that something's going to creep up behind me and scare the living shit out of me.

i cannot get any more contradicting than this.

actually i can, but i'll spare ya!

guess what.

i'm getting a new phone :( i'm sad yet i'm relieved(hah! so much for sparing!) texting is agonizing because the buttons don't work. nevertheless, i love my old phone right? it's been with me for 4 years. 6610i, forever you are LOVED. even if you kind of suck right now. showing symptoms of ancientness, like i told Nurool. kuakuakua.

okay the thing is, MOmster joined this scratch and win contest? hence the new phone. which is cool la SIAL. hahahhaa. i mean, i never won anything my whole life before. if i'm not wrong, it's a Sony Walkman phone.. eat your heart one, Sony Walkman phone lovers. hahahahahhahahahahahaha. it's all about the angles.

TANGKAP EMO! kuakuakua. i shall look back at this and laugh my head off.
Someone special blogged @ 12:25 AM l

SUNNY DAY HAHAHA. perfect day to be out shooting. instead i went to the library to study with Aisyah. like we covered the whole freaking module? how grand is that! wow!!!!!!!! hahahhahha. and i got to finally met this Imran person Aisyah kept talking about. he's nice looking la :) SIZE does not matter, can??? (go Aisyah, go!!!)

last night.

cut myself while playing guitar. i keep getting myself hurt these days. what a way to go.

let's just say, the string wasn't coiled tightly and it was sticking out at me but i didn't do anything to it. practically screamed Accident-Prone-Stay-Away. but i couldn't care less. hence ended up with a nasty scratch on my back of my palm. i hope the string ain't rusty. gasp!

you notice the smaller the cut, the much painful it is? because of the amount of pressure exerted on that small area is greater. physics:D i miss Ezzy Chan loads.

paper cuts suck, doesn't it? guitar-string scratch is like that. even my g is against me!

someone stole our umbrella. hahahah. it was so silly. of course it's bound to be stolen. fancy putting the umbrella in the toilet for 'keeping' because we were too lazy to carry it around.

"think it'd be there when we come back for it later?"
"of course. who'd steal an umbrella?"

i looked at Lina and she looked back at me and we laughed. we both know what we did last weekend...............

when we came back for it an hour later, it was gone.

"wrong toilet?"

we walked out and looked around. yup. right toilet. i remembered very well the huge plastic dog they put outside PetLovers. it had scared the hell out of me.

we finally accepted the cruel fact that our umbrella was stolen.

it's funny how we assumed it was stolen. skali a kind soul took it to the Lost and Found? hah. for all we know tomorrow morning, a picture of our umbrella would be all over the papers, and the news and on notices at every bus stops. ..not that i knew of any such ........morbid services. morbidly helpful la.

they had lunch at macs. they as in Pru, Wany and Eera. after discussion. but i had to go and 'meet a friend'. Eera was like, "who? Ahmad ey?" she winked suggestively. i cringed.

"Ahmid?"

HAHA. that's gdad's name.

"Rahmat? RAHIM?"

WAH. as much as i would have loved to stay and play Guess Who Lela Is Meeting, i think not. hahahah.

"BYE!!!!!!!!!!!"

i saw this guy i've been bumping into in campus. kekeke. i don't like him, i just like how he looks. but oh well. i don't usually give a damn about fleeting eye candies because chances of seeing them again are like zero. but seriously? been seeing him for a couple of times now. BUT OH WELL!!!!!!!!!! i've enough shit already, thank you very nice. i mean, just remembering the state of CRAZYNESS the last one had brought me is enough to make me flinch, let alone even thinking about It.. you know..It.

i saw Mrs. Han at the stop yesterday. sigh. this is exactly what i'm dreading. seeing that Peirce temporary building is just across the street, i'm bound to see familiar faces......familiar faces i'd rather not see? hahahha. yea. not that i don't like Mrs. Han. haha. Panda Han....

i don't mind bumping into Nabila Huda though!!! for her, i'd give Sean Paul a chance, you know! hahahah.

Cousin Lili was like, "you know about that history teacher of yours? which you don't like? which i also don't like?"

"miss khai?"

Lili rolled her eyes and told me that she found out Miss Khai ain't teaching Peirce anymore. and a whole load other information i didn't quite digest because i find it strange that Lili knows so much about her.

"i mean, considering you don't even, like, like her?"

"like they say, keep your friends close. keep your enemies even closer. right?"

-applauds.
Someone special blogged @ 5:10 PM l

from the ice skating trip and the silat performance? uh, yea. ENJOYSSS.


the coolest people in NYP. ..so far. ha ha.

you do not want to get in the middle of them

they are really not that fierce la horrr.

kama, we join silat next semester la.

everybody now! i like, i like. *cough*second guy from the left*cough*

Wany Love!

Eera Love. she's got the groove. not on ice, though. nevertheless......... heehee.

we were all so pale, and we were only just queuing for the skate shoes?


eat your heart out, Yusman. Kama loves Aisyah more. HAHAHA. joke:)

after the fall: that's the infamous butt. wet. and numb.

Someone special blogged @ 9:23 PM l

it's me again. duh. i am making up for those days i didn't update. this is it. :(

am i boring? i think i'm boring. i type in complete sentences, i have no abbreviations. i use capital letters for people's names. i try to apply proper grammar and am using spell check to prevent from making benign spelling errors. SEE. i am boring. i just conducted an english lesson.

maybe that's why i'm losing my friends. HAHAHAHHAHA. those who remained? gosh, i'm even scared to count. my social life is depleting.

anybody want to be my sit-at-starbucks-drink-delicious-coffee-all-day-long-reminisce-and-laugh-and-talk-alot friend? then after that we could enjoy aimless long bus journeys and listen to your mp3(i trust your music taste..as long as you don't have anything by Sean Paul. or else i shall treat your mp3 like a discus.)

times like this, i can't fucking wait for attachments........... keep my mind off things. off everything. haha. resume LOSER mode. loser with zero time for socialising(not that i do much of it), zero time for daydreaming and making a big deal out of nothing(example:right now). just mixing with the old folks and cheeky stuff nurses in the ward, and running away from clinical instructor and bitchy year 2 student nurses who leave the parameters for you to do.

is the world ready for a nurse like me? :( i don't know.

i'm going to be a nurse. i still can't quite grasp the idea yet. actually it's more than just an idea.

Elly asked, "are you enjoying what you're doing?"

i said, "yea.."

just yea.

i don't know how long i can keep up with this.

Syak got into Peirce secondary. HAHHAHAHAHA. aweshum. she tried on the uniform and i can't help but feel so proud. overwhelmed by bittersweet nostalgia of Peirce. i kind of want to go back to Peirce. start all over again. then i'd know what i'm studying so hard for.

too bad. just too bad. haha.

i like how words just form themselves after the blinking cursor like magic. but it only happens if i let my guard down or if i feel miserable or if something's up and i can't talk about it. hardly ever positive, which is scaring me and everyone that is reading this over my shoulder yes YOU, ELLY!! SERIOUSLY. i'll sleep when i want to, okay??????????

here if you don't know what i mean. hoho. i'm proud of myself :):) like i came up with it straight out from the heart? like the great what's-his-face once says: "the song writes itself."

this is not Lela typing. this entry types itself.
Someone special blogged @ 2:09 AM l

you know how absence makes the heart grow fonder and such right? i'm sure there's a saying which goes like that. but you know what? that doesn't work with me. it's been ages since i last heard from you. but that's it.

and that's it.

so that's it.

THEN SKALI THERE YOU GO. killed me with 'hello'. don't go telling me about your problems with your girl because i don't want to know nothing about it. i don't even want to know about how your day went because i was doing fab until you came along with a stupid hello.

your stupid hello.

we had dinner at Sushi Teh:D:D:D as in, my sibs with cousin Lili and Elly. heaven. stuffing our face. sushi. wasabi. ..all those jap stuff. LOVE. full. at their crib now. LALALALA.

SCHOOL TOMORROW. i can't wait. i've found new love, in a form of Pru, Eera, Wany and JJ. they are funny people. they make group discussion like it's next fun thing after iceskating. and i found out all of them love the camera? and Pru looks oh-so-cute in all of them. then again, all of them do:) the last discussion we had, we spent more time fooling around with Ang's camera. Ang is Eera's charming chinese malaysian boyfriend. heh. JJ was like, "chinese????" wait til she meets my boyfriend. he's a Thai.

i wish.

i wish i were a constructor worker. well. kindar. i mean, you're literally building it from scratch. you practically make it come alive. and then every day after the hard work, you can just stand back and look up at the progress. and your progress. then when it's completely done, it's the best feeling in the world.

i wish i had built Vivocity or something. ha ha.

you know what's the suckiest feeling? being taken for granted is the suckiest feeling. it's not the other way round: we may not know when we're taking our friends for granted, and even if we finally realise it, it's inevitably too late. so this is what i'm talking about: being TAKEN for granted is the worst feeling in the world.

because you KNOW when you feel unappreciated. when you feel used. when you feel like you're being put aside, let alone, after your 'purpose' is done. i don't know, maybe it sounds self-conceit. but really. you know that feeling: "you don't care about me! what about the stuff we've been through together??? have you forgotten?? you ungrateful bastard, i could just fucking kill you i swear."

:(

suddenly Ibrahim's stupid hello don't seem so horrible anymore.

i am still the girl who is afraid that happy times would just vanish into thin air without acknowledgment, who silently hopes that she isnt taken for granted.
Someone special blogged @ 11:57 PM l

that i don't blog so much daily anymore??? that is because my computer's down la. i'm downstairs at the playground, stealing someone else's internet. nooo i'm not proud of this fuck you very much hoho. if i didn't have any research due, i wouldn't even be here right now. to tell you the truth, i'm quite fine without the internet :O it's msn that i can't live without.

it's damn cold here :( and it's getting dark. haha. shit.

don't feel very chrismas-sy right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so much has happened huh! nurool in batam??? text me when you're home!!!!

so much has happened huh! too bad i can't share it with you guys. bad for you, bad for me too.

sorry can't put up pictures because it'll take too much time and remember, i'm using someone else's fucking connection and it's not nice. it's christmas lor.

this is it. the last week.

are you ready?
Someone special blogged @ 6:19 PM l

i need a new set of english vocabulary la, seriously. tsk. lelaa! what kind of fucking writer are you! HORRIBLE.

ice skating was fun full stop:D

it was supposed to be a big group thing: Zaf, Kama, Aisyah, Wany, Eera, AiKim, Salween, Fafa and her b, Tom, Dick, Harry, and me. but it came to be just the five of us. but still. we had balls of fun.

fun as balls. balls of fun. SERIOUSLY!

i actually weighed the pros and cons of bringing my Canon along. pros: nurses on skates, what can be more fun!!!!!!! imagine the klutziness i could capture!!!!! HA HA. cons: klutz here really is me. and me on skates with a 410g Canon around my neck tailing my friends, trying to catch them falling, is just going to add to the chances of ME falling and breaking an arm.

and a 800 Canon camera.

so i ended up bringing Lina's Samsung Camera :O since she's away on camp. why not right? it turned out to be a bad idea. because a)it wasn't fully charged. what was full was b)the memory. so i could only snap like what, 20 shots???? and that was because i had deleted a couple of pictures:O Lina's going to kill me if she finds out. d)i don't know how to work the camera. so shots shot sucked. i was unsatisfied. maybe next time when i have money to spare, i'd come down with the camera and just shoot random people la.

falling is FUNny. ever heard of: Tragedy when I fall. But when you fall it's hilarity. that's what i'm saying. it's so amusing to see people slip and fall and land on their ass, face(looks at Kamaria), on other people. i'm not laughing at them, no. i'm saying it's funny. but i'm not laughing at them.

hell, i fell okay? though once. but i still fell. i almost didn't. because i regain balance damn well. just when i thought that this was some kind of a quirky hidden talent of mine and i was confident that if they were to have a push-your-opponent-down match, i'd won hands down because i was quick at realigning my body to achieve stability (????!!?).

but i still fell anyway.

just when i thought i could clinch the title of Zero Fall During Ice Skating Pro. come to think of it, i did broke the record:D for like 60 seconds?

it was just Kama and me. Aisyah fell like a nangka busuk:) and Eera? i grew tired of counting :P skali EH. Kama fell! i didn't see how she fall though. but she did. She and Aisyah were at the side so Eera and I decided to skate over to them. i was like, oww..Kama fell. ...KAMA FELL. FINALLY! I'M THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

when i turned round, Eera was on the floor. AGAIN. and i laughed. because i was in a crazy mood. i wasn't laughing at her really. anyway, she fell many times it was getting old. HAHAHHAA. but THAT was when i fell.

and it was the most unglamourous fall ever. i mean, firstly because i was laughing at Eera but not really(HAHAHA). i mean, that's just wrong already. then i wasn't looking in front, and someone skated pass me and the next thing i knew i was down. i didn't land on my butt because i fell forward so i was on my knees. but my knees gave way and i went all the way down in an awkward sitting position with the legs curled at the side and my whole groin area flat on the ice. icy friction HURTS!

thing was, even though i was down, i was still sliding.

i slid right into this guy.

no.

i slid right into BETWEEN this guy.

no. wrong. i can't seem to get it right.

i slid right into this guy's BETWEEN.

yea that's it.

i was like, xomg stop stop but i kept on sliding and sliding. i saw a pair of legs. no, i saw many pairs. but i seemed to be sliding towards this guy's pair of legs. was like, GET AWAY!!! but NO! he stood there. probably shocked. trying to figure out what was that that was heading his way. a possum????? hahhaha.

anyways. and i slid between those legs. i curled forward slightly because if i hadn't, i'd hit his balls. no i wouldn't, but my face would be near his fly and that's a big fat no. i mean, the only time my face would be anywhere near a guy's dick would be...........

okay definitely not in an ice ring!!!! so anyways! because of my ..ball-like position, i was still sliding. unfortunately i didn't continue to slide right through between the guy's legs. because i was stopped by the guys' skate shoe which was right down there between my legs. i was looking down at where the pointy end was almost at and like, ow ow ow. please, i want to have kids in the future.

it was in slow mo. everything was in slow mo. i heard voices. i saw many legs around me. a hand held out in my face. i grabbed the hand. hauled myself up only to fall back down on my ass. i wanted to dig a hole in the ice and stayed there. it was so humiliating!

but kickass FUN still :)

nobody was hurt during the 2hours(was it?) skate:)

i think pro skaters shouldn't show off their slick moves like that. i'm not jealous. HAHAHHA. PFFT. PUHLEEEZE EH :) HAHAHHAHA. i mean, seriously. they should be jealous of us. look at us beginners. i think we have the most fun. i believe. yea:D because we don't know what we're doing there. and that's what makes it fun. talk about living dangerously. go with the flo. but it's hard when you have those crazy people who skate like they owe the place with their smooth moves. pantat dorang la. haha.

i made a girl fall :( i feel bad. we collided, but i managed to balance myself. she didn't. and she fell, legs up in the air. nasty. i apologised but i didn't think she heard me. people are funny after they get up from a fall :) like, 'xomg!!! embarrassing!!! but be cool okay nobody saw that' when really, everyone did kindar. it's hard to miss something like that. like, wheeee everyone's skaating in the same direction in circles. then suddenly one just disappeared ..down. like "eh??? where did it go????" left right, no. "who's that sprawled on the floor??? oh." ..yea. it's hard to miss.

it's sad when you fall, and the one to help you up is a kiddo half your size. poor Eera. it must have punctured her pride a bit. "are you awright?" asked the little girl, looking down on Eera. literally. "lean forward, so you won't fall. lean forward, ya? maybe you could use some help!" and she showed Eera the little trolley-thingie that she had been using......uh i don't know what it's called. but it's supposed to help you skate?? it's like the extra 2 wheels on a bicycle? yea. kindar. and Eera was like, "UHH NO THANKS."

i think ice skating is the place for couples :) macam romantic gitu. skate together2. hold hands and skate macam slenge pasal takot jatoh. kuakuakua! hahahhahaha.

no seriously. i shall bring my boyfriend there la. it's a good place for bonding and trust-building. "hold me tightly. if you fall, i'll fall with you." hahahah. sweet right? like Titanic sia. you fall, i fall.

and ice skating is a good place to meet people :D KIND people, that is, who helped you, who ignored his girlfriend for a second to hold your hand and make sure you wouldn't fall.

i think he was trying to make sure i wouldn't fall on HIS girlfriend la. since i was behind her. and i looked dangerous. but still. it's nice. "come let me help you." and held my hand tight. actually, it was me who tightened the hold la hor. HA HA. i was like, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................... before i could say no, i was already safely on the other side. and heavily smitten :):) THANKS, BRO. call me when your girlfriend ditch you!

PICTURESSSSSSSS up soooon
Someone special blogged @ 4:58 PM l

so i was at the library with Syak. managed to cover 5 socio chapters with a cappuccino and Syak's leftover latte. then i treated myself......................... took over 70 shots just today. hoho. contented gilerr.

here are a few. ........okaythanksbye.

awwww...

my Mackie love............

"i am fierce."



every day i pray my youngest sister would stop growing




you know the drill: formal shots here
Someone special blogged @ 6:49 PM l

okay lor. it's not like me to lie. some more momster's unwell. haha syak said i'm stupid. she can say whatever la. she's my sister, her words have zero effect on me. momster's not going to work today and i think she's trying to make sure i don't go out hahahha. nah, i think i'll give her the benefit of the doubt. she is unwell.

here's something i'd like to share with ya'll. it'd be cool if you can share your thoughts and feelings about it with me.... (click)here are the pictures of the last roll that Wu Xiao Kang took before he committed suicide. WXK was a patient with acute schizophrenia. super bone chilling, i tell you.

i had a schizophrenic patient before. he's old. he tends to talk to himself in some repetitive alien language which sounds like he's beat boxing, really. we used to mimic him :) well. i had fun changing him, feeding him because he's cooperative, see :D at night(on afternoon shifts that is), i'd sit by his bed and just listen to him 'talk'.

i can't wait to start 'attaching'. mm hm :) suddenly i can't wait to get over these 2 weeks of 'break'. the faster this ends, the faster attachment starts. then next thing i know it'd be exams and more attachments and finally the REAL break. HA HA. hopefully the weather would be less of a bitch la hor.

i guess this is it. since i'm not doing anything today, might as well study right? that's right. for all i know today's a blessing in disguise. if it is, SHOW YOURSELF ALREADY. haha.

laters.
Someone special blogged @ 12:43 PM l

nursing modules SUCK. i died while studying 1029. the stuff is so fucking dry i was in tears. like, NO MORE. NO MORE, PLEASE??? why am i torturing myself like this!!!! fuck i think i'd rather stress over History. or Math. give me some Amath question. some trigonometry won't kill.

i'm wearing this emo glove on my right hand. i like it alot. it's the sort that goes all the way to the elbow. and it's emo because it's in black and white stripes. hahahah it's so fucking amusing how certain things symbolizes something else, and then it leaves no room for other sort of intervention. but that's society for you. anyways. it's total coolness, can? i don't know why Syak bought it. actually i do. but i'm too ashamed to say it:O it's damn cool nevertheless. though i wouldn't be caught dead wearing it outside.

okay i've took it off because it's kindar cutting blood circulation off to my hand............. moving on.

thanks Aisyah<3 for meeting up with me at the library on such short notice. lets do it again:D haha.

so many plans for this week. i hope i get to execute them all :) especially the class gathering on wednesday at east coast park?? it's funny because it's not MY 0622 gathering. it's Nurool's but i've been 'hired' to be their 'photographer' and it'd be Fun to have the privilege to shoot the Most Enthu Class. i'm honoured. HAHA LIKE REAL seh. ntah confirm ke tidak :P

meeting Ryan tomorrow after 19314728 months. hahahaha. i like that. i like punching random numbers and make it so exaggerated. i feel like Gerard Way<3 i hope the weather would chill down a wee bit la. i mean, one minute it's raining and the next it's not and when you think it's awright to go outside with the camera then it starts pouring again i'm like seriously make up your mind.

:) i like that. no, as in i like putting together two sentences and making it unnecessarily long winded and complicated when it's really just simple. because i can never speak that way. i cannot. i'll just fumble and end up confusing myself. so. gosh what am i without w o r d s.
Someone special blogged @ 8:14 PM l

:) SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES <3 well. it's refreshing to see the number of plugs. thanks. that made my day kindar. please keep it up:D so. 2 weeks of break. i'm determined to make the best of it.

i've kickstarted the mini hols by getting a haircut. haha i lied. i didn't shave it. i meant to! but the hairdresser advised me not to :O because apparently once you shave it and go mohawk, you've got to commit to it. and i think, nahh :( stupid attachments.

haha. it's awright. i'm cool.... how was your weekend??? mine's been a bomb la. what a way to start. my sibs and i were at Causeway Point, just messing around and we bumped into our cousins and we ended up having Thai food with them. thai food BEST.

bought a pair of gorgeous dangling skully earrings. it was impulsive, rather harsh. because YOU KNOW ME RIGHT? i don't know how to wear dangling earrings. i feel uncomfortable in them. feels like they are restricting my movements. like i have to be extra careful. but clearly my quirky obsession with skulls overrides everything la hor.

anyways, the earrings are gorgeous.

"they are skulls," my cousin said as-a-matter-of-factly. "how are they gorgeous?"

"shut up already."

Cousin Elly browsed my notebook and judging from the emo stuff i write about heartaches and self-worth and the sheer amount of cursing i do, she thinks something's wrong with me. and she scribbled back on a page: "when life seems fucked, remember we all live on borrowed time." i was like, whoa wait a minute...........................

i mean, I, of all people, know that. i don't know about you but i'm living my life to the fullest. i'm striving to. every day. i try to live like i'm dying. ......not quite actually....because i have priorities to consider and stuff like that but other than that, i've no regrets. i'm not depressed. i know what i want. i'm sorted out. i'm fine!

so why's the emo stuff? gosh, half the stuff i write....i'm unaware of them. come to think of it: i write about things i never know. what the fuck. i have no idea about romance or relationships. a friend once asked me where i get the inspirations from and i simply said, "you, of course."

in other words, i tap into friends' emotions and try to see and write in their point of view. :O im feeding off people's heartaches and trouble. their pain is my gain!!!!!!! bwahahahahha.

but right...sometimes we may write the saddest song, but really we're fine. just because what we do seem sad, it don't make us sad people. and sad people don't always mean something's wrong with them? maybe they like being sad? we're just in touch with our emo side. and there's nothing's wrong with it.

hm. okay lor. maybe the swearings i can bring it down a notch. i'll try to write more positive stuff la hor:D

Lina's away on a 5-days-4-nights camp and it's going to suck without having her to enjoy my first week of hols with :( anyhoos. i think i better go back to my studying. HAHA. studying. right. laters.
Someone special blogged @ 10:34 AM l

skipping tutorial was worth it :) SO WHAT IF I JUST FOUND OUT NORAIN WAS ABSENT TODAY WTFFF. hahahahaha. asswipe.

nurool found a new lover. my Canon. HAHA.

and the weather didn't bring us down. rain or shine. right, nurool? it was fun as balls today. we even made a new friend named Dusk<3 i salivate just thinking about that yummy chocolate we had at the cafe. from playing at the swing in the fucking rain, camwhoring in the toilet like a pair of lessies with too much caffeine. we were high.

what else did we do? i think i'll let the pictures do the talking.

pfft.

good book, good coffee, good companionLOVE. what more can a girl ask for?

polo mini mints!!!!! new love. haha. and i don't even like mints.

MY LOVE. ...and my fingers.

i found out i have the quirky habit of fiddling with my ear lobe.

xxomg. she's going to puke.

a futile suicide attempt. i mean, eh that's alot of mini mints okay.




no comment.

lela with straight hair. xxomg. ...i think i'll pass!!!!!!

*nervous laugh*

hm! how dare you look down on us.

yea this is better.

me:"whatever, nurool. i know la your hair is long and manageable. sheesh!"

she likes to move.

nurool:"mirror mirror on the toilet wall, who's the fairest one of all? WTF??? LELA??????"

nurool's groove:D

wheeeeeeee! ........fine i know, i need a haircut.

AAAAAAH. that's Dusk:) shot taken by Nurool<3 not bad wor!!!!!!! :P

such a handsome cat. ..but he's got a nasty wound which could use a dressing......... :( but he's still handsome nevertheless.

the sign below the pretty clock screams SINGAPORE. typical sia XP

guess what? i found out people have been talking about me. they said that even if the world splits open, i still wouldn't be aware of it. hahahahha. that's true. but i'm still pissed because they talked about me behind my back. bunch of imbeciles. act your fucking age, man! i can't believe my mother JOINED them!?! THANKS, MOMSTER. well. at least she was honest. but still, i wish she hadn't had that smirk on her face.

yes for your information i'm like that. i'm unaware of the world when i'm out there. ..........actually no. i just don't give a fuck about those nosy neighbours:) they laugh at me because i'm different. i laugh at them because they're all the fucking same.

what a way to end such a happy post la. but whatev. i'm going to shave my head. let's see what THEY have to say to that!
Someone special blogged @ 9:14 PM l

i took the stairs. all the way. eighth storey. i collapsed right at Gmum's feet as soon as she opened the door. she couldn't understand why i was panting:D or why i even took the stairs in the first place.

"there was this bug, the ugliest bug to ever walk this earth."

"in the lift?"

"no, outside. it was facing the lift though!"

i hate bugs :( DON'T WE ALL!?!?!?! :D:D:D RIGHT, KAMA? ZAFFY? HAHAHHA. like just now when we were having lunch, there was this flying insect, the ugliest to walk with earth, circling us? and it kept coming back. and the three of us were screaming and kicking, and when it flew to our right, we swerved to our left. like on a fucking rollercoaster:D

fuck, im laughing just thinking of it.

quite frankly, i'm not really a screamer. i don't scream. i'm the flinch and flee sort of person. but it was hard to run and laugh at the same time. anyway, running from a bug is unacceptable:D so i picked laughing la:D because it was fucking hilarious. zaffy screamed like a 7-year-old!!!!!! hehehhe!

man, was i relieved that she's doing awright :) after what happened yesterday. xxomg, she caught me by surprise. sometimes i wondered if i could have handled the situation differently. to make her feel better. all i could do was just stand there... completely overwhelmed by hopelessness. but she's okay now <3

today we skipped lecture to watch Aisyah perform! xxxxxxomg silat rocks. Aisyah rocks. everyone there rocks. though the malay dancers kind of put me to sleep zzZzzz. and the Dikir Barats were.... okay-okay la. very enthu but something's missing. MANY MANY eye candies, though. but that's all they are. eye candies. EYE candies. they hurt the ears la. guys screaming on top of their lungs are not hot. unless his name is Gerard Way.

but i like that guy next to *that* guy...... because he looks like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. so sweet-rooking hoho. AISYAH. I WANT THE PICTURES OF YOU SILAT-ers! SILAT ROCKS. funky fierce. i like the fighting<3 i wish i had brought my camera :( regretting it so. then again, i'd be too shy la. to shoot with so many people.

xomg. did i say i'm shy!?!!

Aisyah, Kama and I had lunch at kitchen spot. makan lagiii:D i think they were pissed off with me because i made them take a super longer route to the destination:D HAHAHA. YESS! they are so cute when they are fierce. like after 10 minutes in the bus, and Kama saw our ugly NYP building again and was like, "APER NIE!" apparently we took a bus which circles one whole Ang Mo Kio. Aisyah threatened to harm me with her silat moves:D HAHAHAH. SORRY GIRLS. NEXT TIME I DO IT AGAIN. HAHAHAHA.

shall not look at bananas the same way :O in fact, shall not look at Kamaria the same way ever again. i shall be wary of her HANDS........... HAHAHHAHAHA. funny as balls like, she. did i say Balls???? HAHAHA. PUNS UNINTENDED. (inside jokeXP)

had to rush to meet Hannan at the new Macs in ang mo kio. was already late. and i hate being late. no, i hate it when he's early. and he was early. but what the heck. it was good to see him again after 1998362104 months.

returned him back his beanie because he's going away and it's winter there. i finally mustered every fucking ounce of my courage and asked him the BIG question. then i wanted to cover my ears because at the same time i didn't want to know :(

oh well. on a lighter note, it was fun catching up, reminiscing those secondary days. xxomg. i want to go back time! i want to be fourteen again!!!!! 2e1'2003 rocks, can???? the coolest class, i believe? HAHAHHA. that was so stupid. but anyways:D

we talked about Dicky. i told him how hurt i was at his comments :( but okay lor. i forgive him because he's funny. H told me about the time he called him and went: "Hello, Dicky? Nie Cikgu Rahim." and Dicky went in a casual tone, "Oh. Aper la, Cikgu. Lain kali tak payah telefon....." then his voice changed and he added menacingly: "Menyebok ajer!" HAHAHHAHHA. Dicky rocks.

we talked about Rasheedi and we always talk about Rasheedi because we both think he's 'cute'. i can tell Hannan's fond of him la, even after being ditched by him so many times. and i think that's sweet. brotherly love. hehehe. Hannan said Rasheedi talks about me too! i'm so flattered............. i like that guy, man.

"it's rare that you fall for guys right?" Hannan said.

"yea," i said. the next second i told him about Ibrahim. HAHAHHA. then i showed him this little thing i wrote and asked him, "what do you think?"

"i think you like him."

"yea........"

i found out we always talk about the same things every time we go out. the same things!!!!!!! but we still laugh at it anyway :)

"who's the prettiest malay girl in Peirce?" he asked.

"i think Asila is hotsex."

he smiled. i think he was expecting me to ask him that question back. but i didn't:D like i need to know!!!!!

"but if i were a guy, i'd probably go for Nabila:D" I mean, Nabila is HILARIOUS and she's so funny............ haha i'm repeating myself but really, i'm only getting my point across. she is FUNNY AS BALLS. (i hope as hell Nabila is not reading this.......HAHAHAHA. so shY!!!!!!!!!!!) unfortunately Hannan couldn't recall how Nabila looks like. asswipe :P

H thought i should open a friendster account :O like how about never? :O :( :) i don't know.

lalalallaa. skipping Norain's tutorial tomorrow. lalallalala. going out with Nurool since 1298471 months. lalalalalove. can't wait to shoot her:O hahaha. she's like the bomb, can???? HERE! <3

OH YEA. OH YEA. remember i've been bragging about how much i've been studying for my bioscience practical????? IT ALL PAID OFF, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. HAHA? BECAUSE I GOT AN A. XXXXXXXXXOMG. WHO'S THE MAN? WHO'S THE MAN?????

still haven't done it yet :O i think it's a sign?
Someone special blogged @ 8:43 PM l

do not tell me i'm overreacting because i think the one's that overreacting is Miss Antoinette. come on, Miss A, just fucking pass me already!!! AARGH! the unnecessary stress it had caused me...........but it's okay. because this ordeal has allowed Maggie, Paul and i to stick together:D:D unfortunately even the three of us combined cannot please Miss A.

many thanks and loves going out to Maggie and Paul. they sacrificed lunch for me! eheh. means alot of me, man. unfortunately we could not execute the plan to lock Miss A in her room and refusing let her out until she sign the goddamn paper(to state that i pass).

hahahaha i can see it: the three of us holding the door knob with Miss A at the other side, screaming and kicking and yelling:

"why can't i open the door? ......you're kindar strong for someone your size, Lela..... now let me out!"

"you're stubborn and unreasonable for someone YOUR size! just pass me and we let you go," was what i say, smiling ridiculously at her through the small glass door. i tried to catch her expression, but i could only see the top of her head.................................

"we? is that Mei Qi and Nicole too? no wonder.. eh, you both stay out of this!"

"no, we're in this together!" Maggie say gleefully.

"we're not sacrificing lunch for nothing!" Paul say.

then her phone rings. her phone ALWAYS rings.

"uh, please no--" i pray..........

too late. Paul let go off the door to answer the call, the door swings open, revealing a very very pissed off Miss An.

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahhah i love role playing :)

moving on :)

people have said i'm quiet. but really, i'm just cool and mellow:D but don't know how it comes across as something else altogether. anyways today's the first time i heard people say i'm shy. "can tell la," Miss Anne said with a smile, which i had returned back with a painful one. timid is definitely not what i want people to think of me. because i am not timid. not after you know me and i know you, that is.

AM I SHY????? okay la, that's just a front. an honest front definitely. and i'm cool with people's comments about me, as long as they are made in my face rather than behind. but i don't know..like i said, i don't want people to remember me as the timid, soft spoken one who has the tendency to trip over chairs(twice, i tripped over twice!!!!). apparently that's how they see me now, doesn't it? and unfortunately first impression lasts and i simply suck :)

i've always made really bad first impressions la. what to do! ..maybe it's my face. i don't know la. but plastic surgery seems a little too exaggerated. don't you think?
Someone special blogged @ 8:07 PM l

Cousin Elly and family are away on a mini vacation. they left behind their two cats. and two cats leave behind plenty of crap. i don't know about you but accumulation of crap for 3 days is bad. so we have been given their house key and the responsibility to clean up the crap for them while they're away. this is normal. almost an annual thing. so.

frankly speaking, i look forward to it every year:D because the Osman family rocks. their house rocks. let the pictures speak for themselves la hor.


spot the extra?

their two house cats: Knight and Tigger. Knight is the fatass, Tigger is the plain ass. he literally stepped on poor Knight!!! if feline could speak, he'd go, "what the fuck??!" i know i did :D

a clearer shot of Tigger. ain't he just the finest!!

oh hello!

fine you don't like me.

seeing double? it's really a mirror reflection.

i could live here:D

..........forget i said that.

i cannot get enough of Knight. he's just the fattest, the roundest, the cutest. i want to bring him home!!!!!

that's how fat and round and cute he is. compare with the size of Lina's celly. initially i wanted to get Lina to carry him and you can see clearly just how gigantic this feline is but clearly he is too heavy to be lifted.

cousin lili's room: i found a stack of cleo mags. mags make me feel ugly.

cousin elly's room: that's more like it!!!!!!! (read: practical photography. not porn, please.)

view from cousin Elly's window.

oh this is random. henna design i did on Lina's.

came across this in Elly's room. i love her room. it's like being in a flea mart :) so many things to discover.

for more formal shots, you may check out myotherblog! thank you and have a nice day :)
Someone special blogged @ 6:55 PM l

JustLELA


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