messy shmessy i think im going crazy. all sorts of papers and notebooks and highlighters and pens filling up every possible area of my..bedsy.

this is what happens when you pester your sarcastic mother that you wanted more space in your room. hence her taking away your DESK, making you deskLESS, which eventually led to you making such a mess on your bed because naturally, you tend to treat it as your desk! 2 in 1. ..make that 3. sometimes i eat on my bed too.

oh but its all clean and tidy now :) not because the same sarcastic mother, who had thrown my desk away, had asked me to. but because mac my cat has no space to sleep on with all my stuffs around. so yes, i cleaned my bed for my cat and his feline nap purposes.

i was re-organising my timetable :D whee! its so colourful; blue for tutorials, green for lectures and pink for lab practicals. which explains the little streaks of blue, green and pink on my bedsheets la. nonetheless, im so proud of me!!! i actually completed 4 weeks :D ..many more to go but i'll worry about it then.

let my training to be a nurse unfolds.........

oh yea. about the letter to sp, right?(PLEASE REFER TO YESTERDAY'S ENTRY IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY. then only you continue.)

well, i didnt get in. it was unsuccessful. hm i dont know how to react. relief, maybe. mostly relief, as the time goes by. and maybe a tad disappointed. heh i cant believe there was a hint of ..disbelief??

i mean, all that fuss..for nothing??? then summoning some dignity, i held my head up high and tossed the rejection letter out of my sight: i dont need no diploma of media and communications to help me reach my dreams of becoming a well known and envied newspaper columnist.

...of course i do. but what the heck :)

i talked to my mother about this. i knew she wanted me into media. but it seemed she has changed her mind. gosh she is so fickle :) but im glad she's behind me supporting and applauding my every decision. ..in the most annoying sort of way? :D

my gdad is especially supportive!!! i am pleasantly surprised :) not that he's always been unsupportive... just that most of the time, all he cares about is the news on television and whether Dia would get back with Ivan(the indonesian programme on suria).

anyway, he overheard our conversation and..... he even volunteered to ..BUY ME A NOTEBOOK. as in, a laptop notebook. HAHA. i flipped, im telling you :)

"we could use a nurse in the family," gdad beamed.
"we have a nurse what," mused gmum. "ithnin?"
"............he's almost 50, right, our uncle nin?" (me.)

i did asked the momster(while she was still in somber mode), "if i pass(insyaallah) and get a diploma in nursing, it doesnt mean i must be a nurse, right?" .......okay now recalling, the question was a stupid one.

but what about my other passion? writing, and photography? never once in my childhood, have i ever thought about being a nurse. and now here i am, haha, training to be one in this 3-year poly course. duh i gotta be a nurse or all these would be for nothing.

not that i have anything against nursing. HELL NO:D im only saying that im immensely passionate about something else other than this too..... if not more..

but i guess, writing, i can do it anytime. anyone can write. but nursing, it's a skill which can only be acquired if youve gone through training. and this is an opportunity!! whoopie!

but still, surely i can branch out? one of our modules will be about behavorial science(sociology and psychology). i am looking forward to the introductory lessons :) maybe i may end up a social worker:D ive always wanted to be one. its like nursing; we are around people helping them but only without the uniform..and less blood haha.

sigh.

i should sleep. but chatting with ERNEST now :D and he's just the cutest, the lamest, the funniest, the..lamest.. ::smitten!:: not. frankly okay, he made me choose sp :) I WAS JEALOUS when hannan told me he saw him in campus. I WANT TO SEE HIM. and his rebonded hair. ..wont ever forgive him for straightening his curls in the first place though.

ive got breakfast date with cousin elly later. so sweet of her; she actually took sometime out of her busy busy schedule to makan at pak john(long john silver)'s with me!!!

i still feel a wee bit insulted la, at being rejected by sp. what, am i not good enough!!! well, it seems!!!!!!

hey but its cool :) ive got THIS outlet to publisize how i feel. and there's no EDITOR to make sure i only write what im suppose to. HAH. being a bloggist(?) beats being a columnist anytime.

..oh but i dont get paid though.

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 2:48 AM l

FECK!!

Dear Nurlela Bte Mohd Ismail

Application for Admission to the Diploma in Media and Communication

Thank you for applying to the Diploma in Media and Communication (DMC) course at Singapore Polytechnic (SP) and for taking the writing test on Monday 13 March 2006.

You have been short-listed for an interview. The details of the interview are as follows:

Interview

Date: Friday 17th March 2006
Time: 10:30 am
Venue: School of Business
General Office
Block T19, Level 4


fdsjh sjdhgowi vnxmn sg0943043-942jgflm kjsg F!! i knew it when i checked my mail just now... 34 new messages(dont ask). LAST NIGHT IT WAS 33. i could feel the blood draining from my face.......... tell me its some chain mail; that if i dont forward it to 40 other unfortunate people, a sadako-lookalike would crawl out off my computer screen. ANYTHING.

i realised that was a stupid thing to wish for........ i cried with relief when i found out it was a letter about the admission to the diploma of media and comm.

then i cried again when i found out it was a letter about the admission to the diploma of media and comm.

okay breathe. in. out. in. out. whee.

..do NOT get lost AGAIN. PLEASE. cannot afford to be late for an interview. ......well at least i know now where block T19 is. ahha. hahha. ..i think.

yet i am still recovering from this, so..

what if i they see im a fraud! not that i am! but what if they think i am!? i always give bad first impressions! BAD.

...shit 10.30am thats early.

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 2:26 PM l

this is it. aaaahhhhhhh!!!!! the poly postings...... its freaking online, and it seemed every single person knew about it(including hannan!!) except me!!! this just shows how much of an ignorant asshole i am.

got nurool to thank :D or else right now, in some other parallel universe, id be sleeping :):)

and oh i cant believe i still had time to drop by macs and bought myself and my gmum breakfast..

and oh i cant believe that the lady didnt put any sausage in my mcmuffin sausage with eggs.................

and oh YOU wont believe.. last night hannan was, "could you give a wake up call? and vice verse..." i wanted to go NO. because that would mean a wake up call for ME for HIM. get it? haha. but im NICE. and crap.. he only picked up after 3 missed calls. and voicemail. i hate voicemails.

........OKAY IMMA GO CHECK THE ONLINE THINGIE...

........
.............
........................

okay ladies and gentlemen.
from now on.......
call me

NURSE LELAA.

..im not lelly mclens. im lelly mcFuckingNURSE. hahahhaa.

....you should see msn right now. 15 contacts online.....and its not even 9am!!! i bet everybody's talking to everybody. like im talking to CARISA. she got into nursing at nanyang poly too. ........wow. carisa, huh.

okay so that was what i managed to write this crazy morning. didnt get to publish because of all the drama.. right now is a different kind of drama:

Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
ERNEST AR
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
i got into nursing at np ar
- e r n - says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
IMMA FRIGGING NURSE, HELLO
- e r n - says:
then not changin course?
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
never mind la.
- e r n - says:
gaga
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
i can save lives
- e r n - says:
let me lmao at u
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
OH SHUDDUP
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
I WONT SAVE YOURS
- e r n - says:
..
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
:P
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
come on where's the humour
- e r n - says:
NOOOOOOOOOOO
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
nyahaha
- e r n - says:
u confirm dun wna change ar
- e r n - says:
nurse so hard
- e r n - says:
lol
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
how you know?
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
you EX NURSE AR
- e r n - says:
YES
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
HAHAHAHHAHA
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
(my turn)
- e r n - says:
lol
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
wahh
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
why hard?
- e r n - says:
i mean like nursing...
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
wha?
- e r n - says:
nevermind
- e r n - says:
lol
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
haiya
- e r n - says:
geez thought u can see me here at sp
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
HAHA
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
dont want la..your hair..eeyerr
- e r n - says:
its rebonded
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
I KNOW. I CAN TELL. eh. curls nicer
- e r n - says:
lala
Lelly McFuckingNURSE says:
you dont think so?
- e r n - says:
i like my hair =P

talk about delusional!!! hHAHA! i mean i should know. i have crazy curls okay. eh no. i mean, its his curls that attracted me to him. last time la. how many chinese guys have curls, you tell me.

eh..how did we talk about his hair!?!

I WAS COOL WITH NURSING and he made me have second thoughts. im weighing the pros and cons right now

okay no im not. i dont wanna think about it right now la........... not only am i ignorant im bloody complacent. what kindar NURSE will i make?!!

okay now i seriously need to rethink that decision of appealing for another course. i mean, this is not for my own good. this is for everyone's own sake. im a walking disaster la!

i need faith in myself.........................!!!!

i bought jasom mraz mr. a-z. i know. i cant believe it. only yesterday i bought ryan cabrera you stand watching. now im putting him aside and grooving along mraz' GEEK IN THE PINK. nurool's HOOKED TOO. MuahahHA.

the power of a geek in the pink :-O

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 5:35 PM l

PART TWO

lining up to collect the results was madness.... clutching onto norine's hands, feeling her shiver..or was it mine? the atmosphere was just tensed. everybody was holding their breath.

i glanced to my right to the other class. atiqa ali wasnt there yet. meisy, her partner, was alone, chewing her lips. our eyes met and we smiled conspiratorially. exchanging futile(but sweet, nonetheless) good lucks to each other, and we were back to our silent prayers/meditation/what have you.

spotted asila :):) i think shes the one im gonna miss the most la. didnt want her to go, you know. haha. sigh. so sad.

and it was my turn!!!!!!! funny, i was smiling to miss khai(first time), and i sat down, and she smiled and i was like, bring it on. she brought it on. i saw letters. Bs and Cs. no As. no Ds either. so this means,

i passed! every single subject! including physics and amaths. and my english is a b3! b3, people!!!! aaaahhh~~ media and management at nanyang poly, here i come. .....imagine if i hadnt gone speechless in front of the oral examiners, i would have gotten a freaken distinction. i would have gotten into mass communication!! im kicking myself!!

but nevertheless, i was content. delirious with elation. but i was cool, i was cool. heh :D i got up, thanked miss khai, even smiled at dennis goh. my emaths is a b3, people, b3!!!!! ..but, seriously? no thanks to dennis goh. i dont remember learning anything from that bitch. :):)

momster called as soon as i got out of the hall. i told her the good news and she was..she was..she's proud of me :)

cikgu majidah caaame~ sriee and cikgu made a cute pair. sriee: "cikgu got missed me?" cikgu: "oh yes. alot. cant sleep at night because of that. ah, yea la tuu." she sounded completely like srieee!!!! xD she counted my r5, even though i told her i didnt wanna know. not until i got home at least. but yea. she counted them and..boom. 20.

for some reason, my spirit was not broken. i was still optimistic. maybe because i had expected worst. ha. ..until hannan called and asked how i did and..and.... and.....and... im not saying im jealous of him. ive never looked at him as a competition before. aaand im happy for him but.. but... i dont know whats this feeling im feeling.

maybe its that..i could have done better because he seriously has. and we've been classmates for 4 years, our standards have always been the same; he has improved but im still..there. so i could have done better. maybe thats why. maybe..

"not going out?" he asked.
"no..my mother's waiting for me back home." .....my mother's waiting for me.

nana, meya and ali were staying back in school..for the rugby match..? i dont know. so i said goodbye because my mother's waiting for me. gave nana a biiiiig hug to tell her that she'll do just fine. i know she will :) because she has us. well, she has meya and ali. yea.

i got home and momster was on the phone. as soon as i closed the door she was like, "ah! she's home! she's here!!!! ask her yourself." and shoved the phone in my ear. it was my aunt. ..Da aunt. argh. she asked for my r5. i told her 20 and she was like, "ceh. i thought 18."

whhaadda!?

"so youre going to do nursing?"
"yea, one of the choices. but im thinking media and management.."
"okay as long as its not tourism(and hospitality). wouldnt want you to work at the casino and everything."

whaaadda?!?!?!

glad thaat was over. but more relatives called :) the phone kept ringing, smses coming inn.. fuh! overall im thankful! :) my mother seems satisfied enough :):) so that makes me satisfied x10!! though she had wanted me to go to a jc. "but you're the one studying so its up to you," she said. "asalkan kau bahagia."

and that is what mothers are for :)

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 11:32 PM l

we were in the examination hall. i looked at the unfamiliar faces around me. everyone was scowling and they looked like they would love to beat the crap out of the person sitting next to them. then a teacher walked down the aisle, handing out papers. but she skipped me, leaving me completely flustered, with my hands empty. i turned round, opened my mouth to ask, when my phone conveniently went off: unwritten by natasha bedingfield.

"make it stop!!" shouted a voice.

and i woke up, to realise the voice belongs to my sister, who was covering her head with her pillow. and that my phone was ringing for mercy. what in the world, i thought, moaning at the effort of retrieving my phone from underneath the bed. i must have kicked it off while sleeping. who would be calling at... i checked the time from my digital watch. 3.40am!?

it wasnt a call. it was a sms. .........apparently i had put my phone in outdoor mode. why did i put my phone in outdoor mode?

it was hannan. and it had better be good.

turned out he had trouble falling asleep and thought id be awake. i dont blame him nor am i pissed off with him. i mean, we *are* the nocturnals. only that night was special because its Da day.... i assumed he was nervous but he didnt think so.

"you are a friend indeed," he said when he found out that i had been asleep after all but replied to him anyway. ..wheeee~ im a friend indeed xD

im a friend.. to a friend :)

so that made me feel like a million bucks. i was thinking to myself as i tried to doze off, "what a good way to start the day.....zZzz."

but i was late. to meet the girls. but im sure they've forgiven me :) haha. the 4 of us had breakfast cum lunch at kfc(ooh chickennnnn..) and as always, ryan was high. hahaha. shes funny la~ then we took pictures and walked around j8 aimlessly..

frankly? it wasnt boring. it seemed like boring because all we did was walked.....but i had fun because the company was just great :) so ryannnn, we do this again some time? the 4 of us? ..but never at junction8, ever again pleeeease!!! haha.

it was 1pm and we were in the bus to school. i still didnt feel anything until momster called. only then the anxiety was starting to kick in. butterflies on amphetamines fluttering in my stomach; momster sounded really excited(of course i told her it wasnt until 2.30pm la) and i realised, this is not just about me.

i am my mother's only hope.

we got to school. pretty early la. ..and whats the deal with my "funky"(thanks sharon)hair? muahaha. tabitha, clarissa and sam ann were the best. they were like oohs and aahs and, "cool!! your hair rocks!! you cut it?" and i told her nonchalantly, "no. actually i combed it for the very first time in my entire life." and they went hahahahaha!

i didnt thought they would get my joke. when i said that to my sister's friends, they were like... huh?

you should have heard clarissa wong(da prom queen, ladies and gentlemen). you know how she's very gentle and very soft and so sweet so fragile and everything. but when i said that, she just burst out laughing!! continuously.

woohoo i made clarissa laaugh!!! i made her look like a complete idiot(because she has the reputation of being near-perfect) :D ..a very sweet, pretty one :) wheh wheh wheh.

nana and meya arrived..we sat at our usual table :) but it was occupied with bags. so with limited space, i sat on meya's lap. no i wasnt bullying her. if you see meya and you look at me, you know what i mean. :D nana sat on the floor, as always.. and guess who's the klutz who accidentally tripped over her.

hannan!!! haha! he has got lonnnng hair!!! probably longer than miine! whats with that. even dicky and rasheedi keep their hair long. the 3 of them.. tsk tsk tsk. :D

announcement made. we all made our way to the hall. suddenly i felt a wave of nostalgia :) ..then i saw dennis goh and everything shattered. how dare he!! came up to us, talked to us with that patronizing tone of his. even had the cheek to purposely wave packets of tissue in our direction, smirking and saying, "just in case."

i hope for his sake, he meant tears of joy.

END OF PART 1

Labels: results

Someone special blogged @ 6:25 PM l

JustLELA


alter ago?

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